Dating: What Do You Look for in a Man?

(Photo Credits: Sean Cody)

It’s a brand new year and with it comes new hopes and dreams, new opportunities, and for the single people out there—new love.

Speaking of new love, a lot of us made a firm resolution to find one this 2018 and that’s good. But if we’ve been employing the same approach on dating for years perhaps it is time to change our dating habits. And while we may have plenty of dating practices to change, there are definitely some dating resolutions we can make this year: doable ones and something that we can do or change right away.

  1. Initiative – search, search, and search for them here at Adam4Adam and then reach out! Let’s not wait around for anyone to find us. As in everything in life, if we don’t do anything, we also get nothing in return. We want to find love so as a matter of principle, of course we search for them, who knows what a little initiative can do to our love life.
  1. Commitment – you found him, befriended him, and after sometime you both agreed to meet for coffee. You’ve got to actually show up! Make time for him; absolutely don’t cancel at the last minute but at the same time, you’ve got to come prepared. Moreover, please keep in mind A4A’s safety tips which you can read here.
  1. Enjoy – avoid setting expectations and forming preconceived notions about him as these not only spoil the date, it could also end it before it actually begins. Get to know him instead and allow him to show you his true self and vice versa.

Having said that, what are you waiting for? Go and find him but not before you tell us about the things or qualities that you look for in a man. Share with us your answers below and leave your username while you are at it. Who knows, someone out there may chance upon your comment and take interest in you. This way, they can get in touch with you here on A4A right away.

Good luck and happy dating!

There are 20 comments

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  1. Marcus

    I’m looking for a friend first. Someone I enjoy being around. Great conversation is a must even before we have sex. I’m into only masculine guys like myself. Someone who don’t stand out as feminine. I want a man that likes only man things. Good personal hygiene is the most important quality I can think of!!!!! I want a buddy to watch football and other sports with. I want someone who is not a freak in bed. I want a conservative, versatile guy like myself when it comes to sex. My only other desire is that he be black like myself and have a slim muscular build and be about 5’11 to 6’1.

  2. Rano

    Good looking face, nice thick medium mushroom cock. Not selfish in bed. It means serve one another to completion or to satisfaction . Just a fucking buddy

  3. FRANZ

    i usually go for white or latin hung tops younger then myself.
    no short dudes.
    no little dick dudes.
    no older dudes.
    no bottoms.

  4. Cecil

    He has to be between the ages of 22-28, have a great body, groomed or no body hair, have at least 8”, and have an impeccable sense of style.

    If over 28, he has to have a great job (aka lots of money) plus all the stated above. Never settling for less than this!

    • Andrew

      And do you stand in this category as well Cecil? Just asking not starting a problem, because the aim of the article is looking for a realistic man and changing your dating habits from previous years to allow you to find someone wort your time and to grow with.

  5. Thad

    A sense of humor … in these politically contentious times, we need to laugh. Also, honesty and kindness and consideration for others — and a progressive, liberal political outlook (yes, I have a right to want that, no need for those of the opposite persuasion to vent or rant). #Oprah4President

  6. Hunter0500

    Of course you should lay out in your profile what you’re looking for. Here’s a wild idea .. lay out as well what you have to offer. Why should a guy want to meet you? For me, if a guy says only “total bottom”, it’s like he’s looking only for a dildo. Or “total top”, it’s like he’s looking only for a place to ram his tool and deposit his load. Both are great if that’s how both parties are looking to treat and be treated by each other.

    When I read a profile, I look for “what’s in it for me?” I like guys who keep “giving” generally equal with “taking.”

  7. BJ

    Well, I am not one to commit. I prefer an open relationship, however I do have a best lover friend that I see quite frequently. The most important things are honesty, trustworthy, and disease free. I like guys who prefer to do stuff, other than just a suck and fuck and goodbye. A FWB is the best thing a guy can have. Emphasis on the F (Friend) Race, looks, age, dick size, weight, height, nationality is not a big deal with me.

  8. Milford

    It’s not tough enough that the net is a place where you can be a person that you’re not, but once you decide to meet in real life, it’s time to come clean. That one last chance to say, well, maybe you’re not what I am looking for, or, I only want some quick sex, or, I know you just want to get laid, but I want more. Just don’t stand a guy up, have the balls to at least say, Maybe not, something came up, or I chickened out. (I got a message once: “He’s not gonna make it- I am his wife and I just found this…”) At least I wasn’t waiting at [the restaurant] for hours…LOL Yet, I went in and sat at the bar for a few ended up in a great conversation, and a phone number. So it can happen anytime anyplace. Keep an open mind. Even if ‘he’ isn’t exactly your type, it might be worth a try. One never knows.

  9. David

    Guys, we all have to be willing to talk. It starts on here when the first contact is made and someone sends you a hello message. Most just answer with the equal of a grunt. When a guy attempts to start a real conversation and all he can get are one word answers spaced out 20 minutes apart, its not very long before the move on is done. If you’re not interested, tell the guy up front and save him and you the time. I’ve found that to be really effective and only rarely resulting in negativity. Be sure you can take it as good as you can dish it though LOL. The conversation aspect allows for getting to know your hoped for partner, whether it be a planned hookup or possible friendship. A mental connection is paramount for me once I start to converse with a guy. The physical attraction was already there or I wouldn’t have contacted to begin with and made the attempt. A lot of guys, the physical didn’t pan out but the mental is still there and we chat platonically and enjoy it. Once we meet, the physical does take over for a bit but after we both cum, the mental connection is what sustains the desire to meet again or to actually get to know each other. Abs and a tight ass only go so far. What we put in our bodies is important too. I met up with and really enjoyed the company of a young African American guy but his precum tasted like a cross between vinegar and quinine it was so bitter. I’m not sure if it was too much dairy in his diet or what but it just killed the mood. I mentioned it to him but over several months he wasn’t able to or didn’t try to make a change. So, a lot of things come into play when searching, then finding, then consolidating a friendship or whatever we each are looking for in another guy.

    • Milford

      Yah, I think I know that taste, really bitter. I have found that I can pick any insuin dependent diabetic out of a pre-cum, or cum line-up. The insulin that isn’t used is excreted. Some makes it’s way into the prostatic fluid. Tastes awful. But it’s a hazard of the territory that can’t be helped. As you mentioned, the territory shouldn’t include being a douchebag to anyone.
      One other sidenote: Age. So many guys have rock solid age limits. I wonder how they’ll feel when they hit those very limits. “I only like guys under 22” (from a 21 year old) Kid, you’re about to be too old for yourself. You’ve all seen it! Sometimes the guy’s looks and profile are right…but then there’s a line like that.

  10. Andrew

    Alot of what these guys have written are unrealistic ppl, you either going get a cheater, a married man or a man who is already in a relationship and most guys want a full top no verse guys also alot of unrealistic body types seems alot of ppl need to lower their standards from perfect porn stars to real ppl. Then their are a few ppl here that are looking for an actual partner aka relationship

  11. Lamar

    Some one who is down-to-earth, confident, intelligent, masculine (not acting) knows what he wants and what he’s doing, some one who is seriously looking for someone whom he finds more special than all the rest. Some one who can carry a great conversation, some one who is flexible, open-minded sexually with a good libido, reasonably good-looking, ht-weight proportionate, my age-group and comfortable being so. And just all around, a good human-being, period.

  12. Okzebrs2

    I’d settle for the one on top in the picture for this article being, as I am, more like the one on the bottom spreading his legs to receive.

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