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Survey: Would You Date a Bisexual Man?

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So, Aaron Carter came out as bisexual and it reminded me of a particular incident hence our question for the day: would you date a bisexual man? Why or why not?

My curiosity started when a straight female friend asked me to introduce her to a potential boyfriend and when I said I’d introduce her to a bisexual guy she flat out refused. The man was a friend of my then boyfriend, and it was also only after her refusal that I realized why my ex-boyfriend was adamant we tell my friend we are introducing her to a bisexual guy.

Since then, I became acutely aware it’s not only women who reject dates with bisexual guys but also gay men. It is not always the case of course but it happened often enough that I notice.

This is also not to say that bisexuals don’t have love lives because they do. But in a survey conducted by Pew Research Center, results said that 84% of their bisexual respondents are in a committed relationship with opposite sex and only 9% were on the same-sex relationship. Which means that the rate with which a bisexual man is likely to settle down with a woman is higher than with gay men but why?

Anyway, I wish I asked my friend back then why she refused him but I didn’t so let’s go back to the original question at hand, how likely are you to date a bisexual man? Is being a bisexual a deal breaker for you? Why or why not?

On the other hand, to our bisexual a4a members out there, has anyone ever refused to date you—whether a gay man or a woman—because of your bisexuality? Did they tell you why?

Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.


There are 66 comments

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  1. HunterWI

    For me personally, gay vs. bisexual has no bearing on dating. All that matters are the guy’s character, personality, understanding of hygiene, preferences for sex play, etc. Some gays have issues with bisexual. That’s their choice, of course. Just as their preferences for beauty, height, weight, age, race, hair, etc. are. What they don’t figure out until too late unfortunately is that when they go through life discounting other guys with their long list of must haves/must not haves, they put themselves onto a sure path to the Land of Old Bitchy Lonely Queen.

    • Mike

      There’s a HUGE difference between not wanting anything to do with a bi guy (as Marcupguy said below, the thought of the man touching pussy makes him limp), and just not wanting to DATE a bi guy. I’ve got no problem hooking up with a bi guy. I once fucked a married guy in his bed while his wife was at work and kids at school. But I will never DATE a bi guy again. Like I said below, more often than not, they will decide they will choose the dumb nagging pussy over a dude who knows what he wants – because he decides that appearances are more important.

  2. MarcUPguy

    I’m sorry, but I don’t want to smell or touch or taste a man who has been in or near or on female pussy. Just the thought of it is a total erection-destroyer for me. Nothing against you female puasy-lovers, but not for me.

    • DamienThorne

      Dave, Sounds like you are just a hater. Thats why its called Bi-Sexual because hes attracted to both so he does not have to choose. Funny how gay men want to hold a fucking rally/March/Kumbaya candlelight moment wanting to be accepted by everyone else but are quick to ostracize others within the LGBT community that wants exactly the same. Only to be looked down upon by by people like you from your self appointed seat on the Gay Iron Throne. Everyone’s life is not like yours. We all have different paths and can end up at different places on the sexual map. Maybe its you who needs to grow up or so you can relate even better…Don’t be a dick bro.

    • John

      @DAVE, I can’t stand when guys say that. I am a bi male and attracted to both men and women. How can you say that people need to grow up and pick one or the other? Aren’t we all just trying to live openly and not be discriminated against? Just because it doesn’t match your views, doesn’t make it wrong. I think it is someone else who needs to grow up and let people be who they want to be.

    • Jer

      Excuse me but what does supposed maturity Or your “Grow Up” comment have to do with a Damn thing , I’d say you are one Douche like mentioned in a comment by another to this topic – GET READY FOR THE LAND OF LONELY OLD BITCHY QUEEN….

  3. Boydale

    Yes I have dated a Bisexual man it was all good. In fact sex was better, and no bullshit or drama.
    The only thing that was funny was I was fucking him and then he would go home and have sex with his wife.
    It was all good. and I new it wasn’t going any were. Just Pure Fun!

  4. Arturo23

    For a date, NSA, he’s not going to become my boyfriend- yes. If he’s got the qualities I want, why Not?

    But if I was looking for someone to start a relationship with, the statistics above would make me say no.

  5. TJ Pittsburgh

    Of course I’d date a bisexual guy! Why not? Guys who are 100% gay can cheat with other guys, so their bisexuality has nothing to do with their commitment to a relationship. That is judged on an individual basis, apart from their identification.

  6. ama

    The great thing about being bisexual is that you have that option and can still be happy and fulfilled. That ability to live a life of normalcy makes a lot of gay men bitter and resentful. Personally, I have no ill-fitting towards my bisexual brothers but I will not date you. I used to date bisexual men, but it’s been one disappointment after the other and yet to meet one bi guy who’s willing to go long term and give up everything I mentioned earlier.

    Lemme tell you. It’s one thing to be dumped because of a personal flaw that you can always work on. It’s another thing to be rejected because of something you can’t change. I’ve felt that pain too many times for my taste. Ive since long ago decided I’d only date gay men.

    • Blu92

      This is by far the most logical reply yet. It’s nothing to do with accepting them so much as the numbers and past experiences show that when given the choice there are many that will choose societal acceptance over additional struggle. If that’s you then fine but I’m not willing to add grief to my life with someone that statistically will head right back to the snatch when the going gets rough.

      My feelings come from experience. 3 of my exes considered themselves bisexual and each of them has ended the relationship with me for a woman one of which is married and how has a child, along with one of my fuck buddies pulling the same thing.

  7. Maneatern301

    personally I don’t give a dayuuumm sorry I gotta go back go the am I a slut comment. and yes once again. I am a slut, if the dick is rock hard its on like a bag of popcorn, I am bisexual and have been several bi gay sexual relationships, but when I’m having sex where there is a man involved I’m primarily a bottom, when with both sexes I’m still a bottom and that’s ok with most str8t women and bi women. They like to see their man impale another mans ass and throat and in some cases the woman will put on a strap on. So love it both

  8. BitterOldQueenLOL

    I’m a 50yo gay man who’s been involved with and hooked up with enough bi guys and those who identify as “straight but curious” to confirm the opinion that they’re into girls and only girls for dating and relationships. They’re into guys for discreet hot sex in secret, not love or romance. They avoid gay bars and clubs and the whole gay community/scene altogether unless you count cruisy sex venues like bathhouses, bookstores and porn theaters. It’s not that gay guys refuse to date bi guys for no good reason; it’s because bi guys are just using other guys to get their rocks off, (or more, if they’re trading sex for any kind of favor) so the headline is asking the wrong question: Why won’t bisexual guys date us? Duh.

  9. Stowbiguy

    It always seems an either or with my partners when we speak about being bisexual. Decide which team you like and want to play on, since you cannot do both. Very smalled minds with little ideas spit out this comment. Just because you cannot only do one does not mean someone else cannot do it and enjoy it too….

    Seems several things are at work but the number one is they are insecure about themselves. So worried that a bisexual person will leave them for the other sex. Seems nothing is more degrading than that happening since they feel unsure about their own sexuality. They will say something like your just playing with guys till a good woman comes along. Really??? maybe I’m looking for good guy and will settle down with one instead. But their jealousy will not let them even to consider that possibility.

    Other big issue with women is they feel bi guys are nothing more than a man slut with too many STDs to name. Crazy as it sounds they feel that’s true….

    The last one I get is how can you just be with me and bi? You will have to act on it at some point and I don’t want to deal with it…..

  10. Terry

    So socially and sexually immature, in my opinion guys. Of course, rejecting a bisexual guy is your choice. Just my opinion. Really no judgement here from me. Whatever. It’s all good.

    Agree with Hunterwi. I’m not bi but do sort of consider bi folks to be more sexually mature and well rounded. So, definitely, I would date and fuck with a bi guy if there was chemistry, etc.

    I assume that is what you are asking.

  11. Mike

    IME, the vast majority of guys who classify themselves as “bisexual” are really straight-curious. They want to suck a cock or take it up the ass once in a while but aren’t really interested in a committed relationship with a guy (usually for appearances sake, they tend to be heavily closeted for one reason or another). Honestly other than a hookup, they aren’t worth putting any relationship effort into because you’ll end up with nothing to show for it. You’ll eventually get dumped for a high maintenance fanged pussy that’ll complain endlessly and abuse the hell out of him. But hey, they get what they deserve.

  12. Maxxwell

    I would be fine with being friends with benefits with bisexual guys but I would not want to be in a relationship with a guy who forms committed relationships with both men and women. I just met a guy who was married and divorced, then had a few boyfriends, and is now engaged to be married to another woman. And if there are children involved? Switch-hitting seems to lack integrity and changing teams seems way to easy.

  13. Eastsideprbttm

    Funny people are so simpleminded that they dont understand you can be attracted sexualky to both sexes. Its not about “picking a side” and sticking to knly that.

  14. Mightypapa

    I would definetly day a bi guy…. I like both Men and Women myself, the best of both world’s . Also, for the record, I Only date one or the other exclusively, never at the same time. That’s part of the mis-conception that we can’t commit to either sex or… we are confused.. Not true at all!.. in opinion.
    For those who say we need to chose, we are… we are choosing to be with the person we are with! Sad that in the gay community that gays are judging us the same as the straights are/were judging gays not to long ago, and some still are.
    Yes, two guys I have dated have said they do not believe in Bisexuality. The 1st lost contact, while the 2nd…. we are still friends (3 yrs) and hookup often for a Very Hot sex time .
    Ooh, by the way, I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 yrs and he knew I like both and was ok with it. Yes, the sex was Hot with him as well!

  15. Paul

    Yes. I would and have. If a person likes both who are we to judge? I have personally never been with a woman but that was my choice.I have had encounters with ” str8″ guys who are married and have been with ” Gay ” guys that are married. Personally a guy is a guy.

  16. MJ

    Wow, where is the love for all the B in LGBTQ? I am in love and have an amazing relationship with a bisexual man. It has opened my way of thinking. I too, always thought that the person should “shit or get off the pot” and make a decision, but why is that even necessary? My partner is married to a woman, and yes they have sex. I know that he loves me equally and I provide sensuality and passion not afforded to him in his heterosexual relationship.

    Love is love. His wife and I are close friends and we have formed a unique bond. I identity as a gay man, but enjoy the sexual aspects of being with a woman.

    Condemning people because you choose to be narrow minded seems selfish and childish.

  17. Guillermo

    Biggest risk and mistake I took .. ended up with a broken heart. Not worth it in my case. That experienced definitely closed me off to dating a bisexual man again but also made me lose trust in all men.. haven’t dated or been in a relationship since.. forget about it.

  18. Psychophant

    An endless barrage of uneducated and unenlightened opinions is about to hit this blog like a tsunami. @marcupguy cooties went out with grade school. Youre safe now. And @ Dave I am all grown up. Bisexuality is as valid as homosexuality. No choice needs to be made. Try and think of it as one step closer to unconditional love. Yes I’m bisexual and yes I’ve been told flat out after 3 previous dates things were going well and then the bisexual card got played…game over. I don’t date bisexuals. Why? Everything from ‘too much to deal with ‘ to ‘they re just confused and I don’t need that in my life. ” absolutely absurd reasons. Most of them stem from attempts at invalidating the orientation. Masters and Johnsons, the Hite report, the Kinsey papers and conclusions, it exists. It’s not transitional. It’s part of who I am and it takes nothing away from my relationships. I can choose one over all if so motivated just like you do. I still avoid the conversation if I can. Everybody has their opinion and are so sure they are right and just. But I’m the bisexual. Why not listen to what I have to say.

  19. Wayne

    I would if he was a total bottom with me and was smooth all over with soft feature and was fem in bed. I’m bisexual myself but lately lean more towards fems and transgenders. I want to be the only masculine in the relationship. Women don’t think a man can be bisexual…they think you’re just gay. Gays think bisexuals are confused dogs who can be trusted. I tell neither that I’m bisexual. I can control myself because if I’m with either I want a relationship only.

  20. Mike Nunn

    Sexuality is not set its fluid and most fall somewhere on the spectrum..respecting my asexual brothers and sisters. I am a self identified gay male with a very masculine gender identity. I’ve had many encounters with bi-sexual men and would date one. I don’t let myths and prejudice stand in the way of something that could be beautiful.

  21. Richard

    While I am 100 percent gay, I don’t think it would bother me to DATE a bi guy. Might prefer a RELATIONSHIP with a totally gay man. Anyhow, who was it that said something about bisexuality immediately doubling your chances of finding a date for Saturday night??

  22. Chuckrealegg

    I personally maintain that everyone is gay, bisexuals are coming to grips with it and straight people just need to open their minds to the facts of life.

  23. Jon G

    As a bisexual, it’s about the connection with the person. Not having to choose one or another. Gay men generally think Bi guys can’t commit to being gay. It’s not about that at all. Sure some use it as a stepping stone to test the waters, but a true Bi guy is in his own truth. I have been shot down by guys once they find out. I’ve also been shot down by women. But personally I’ve had more acceptance in the straight community about being Bi than I have in the gay community. That’s sad as far as I’m concerned.

  24. Jer

    As for my own comment to this topic
    a lot of gay men try and deem a guy that might have sex or be with another man as only gay like there’s no way you can like both but I’m sorry and very sure to tell them that there are people like me that do have attraction to both sexe
    I have to dated both
    I have leaned more towards men lately probably 10 years but if I met a woman that was cool , beautiful like any man I’ve been with and somebody I could get to know . I would . I’ve had a lot of issues with gay men trying to Deem me Gay especially in my early days of dating men that I could only be gay because I was with men and it’s bullshit
    I can date whoever Have sex with who I feel good about and be with either sex if it’s what I choose
    What’s rather sad is that gay men like to & want to Try impending “rules” upon people like me and dictate what somebody like a bisexual man or woman can do
    but yet they’re “open relationship” and “married but play together or on the side”
    Or just fuck whoever you want , polyamorous and all this other crap … yeah cuz that’s completely OK Not !!!

  25. Jer

    As far as it ever being an issue . No it’s not .
    But Clearly a guy or gal can ask but if I’m out with either . They can ask .
    Unlike so many gay men I myself will at least be upfront about myself , unlike Way too many who have misleading devious intentions

  26. anonimatovato

    I see a lot of hate and ignorance from these comments, and basically discriminating because he’s bisexual, saying things like he can only choose one thing or the other. funny, just like how homophobes always tells us how we can choose to be ‘straight’.

    Where’s the love and acceptance the LBGTQ claims to have? I don’t see much love, respect or understanding to the B’s and the T’s. Maybe it’s not a popular opinion, but why not just make the LBGTQ seperate? Gay only, Bi only, Lesbian only and Trans only? Because nobody seems to get along well enough to be grouped together as a branch.

  27. Jay

    Well the only guy that has fucked me bare is a Bi Guy. He is married and therefore he is totally clean (worried about if he gets disease and his wife gets it.. he is done). So he is safe and I have known him for a while.. .. we fuck and he fucks me bare and cums inside me….(he is the only one that I fuck bare and cums inside me). I would not have that with anyone but with him its okay because I know he is bi and does not fool around with any other guy.

    • Trent

      SORRY BUDDYHOES. YOU ARE 1000% WRONG. I can’t believe some people are thinking like this. ‘He’s married and totally clean” ?? Where the fk are you getting his from ??

    • J

      I’ve messed with a Bisexual guy just like in your situation and you thinking that he’s clean just because he’s married to a woman is soooo far from true it’s laughable lol.

  28. Leumerian Phoenix

    Nope, sex today is a big enough risk I’m not going to add to that by having sex with some one where the entire population is on the table.

  29. John Smith

    I’m married to a woman but I identify as a gay man. Yes I enjoy dates with gay men – movies, dinners, day trips but realize by choice I will remain married and never be in a relationship. I recently clicked with a divorced man and wanted to continue to see him for dates and sex. He couldn’t accept that we’d never have the possibility of a long term relationship. I was disappointed but he obviously is looking for something long-term. I want to build a community of friends who I can date and have sex with but at times gay men make me feel like a second class citizen because I’m married to a woman and won’t divorce her. FYI we don’t have sex anymore. My sexual needs are being met through connections on Adam.

    • Ama

      You are the poster child of everything that makes Gay men not want to date Bisexual men. No one with any shred of dignity wants to be second place. The fact that you’re searching for someone who wants to be that is appalling and honestly quite selfish of you.

      You want your cake and you want to eat it too. The only gay men you’ll find are those with low self esteem and a mess. Essentially, the bottom of the barrel.

  30. SystemError

    we bisexuals struggle for acceptance from not only the gays & the straights but from ouselves. And for me it’s taking FOREVER! It’s true! How can i be in a committed relationship with a woman or a man when i’m sexually attracted to both? Do i reveal my nature to others when I know it will inevitably result in rejection?
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there isn’t really a strong, bisexual presence out in the real world. And there doesn’t seem to be a lot of support for us to come out anyway. So we swallow our feelings in an attempt to maintain some sort of relationship that will only come crashing down either because we lie or because we tell the truth.
    That said, I like the comment from a gay man who said “the question is wrong, will the Bis date us?” this is an excellent question. Will we? Can we date anyone?
    Maybe we could use a little acceptance & support from others to help us accept ourselves. We really don’t have much of a support system. Most bi guys won’t even admit it to one another so we have no community.

  31. AMiguelVJr

    I think there are degrees of bi-sexuality. I consider myself bi-sexual but would not date a woman. I can separate love and sex. I can only feel romantic love for a man and only sexual lust/desire for a woman. There are the bi guys I have met who definitely want sex with a man yet always want to go back to their wives/girlfriends. It’s hard to say because I believe it’s a generalized question. I know I’m not the only guy who feels this way because I have a few friends, male and female who feel the same.

  32. Eron

    I have had sex with married and bisexual guys but I would not date one. That’s just my personal preference. Also I would never date nor even touch any guy that looked like Aaron Carter, sorry but the worn out meth head look never did it for me.

  33. EthicalSlut

    I frequently hear from gay guys that they think it’s hot that I’m bi and in an open relationship. I’m gladly surprised to read the comments here since it appears that there’s more acceptance and understanding of bisexuality that what used to be not long ago. Yet, there still seems to be a blind spot about how the discrimination towards bi guys is probably one of the reasons why some bi guys behave in a way that is untrustworthy. Note I said “some.”

    • HunterWI

      It’s great to see here (and in other blogs on this site lately) so many gay guys speaking up against a lack of tolerance by some of the most “loud and proud” toward anyone who does not fit their narrow and strict requirements for “gay beliefs and gay behaviors.”

  34. J

    NO I would not because I already know a bisexual man would crave pussy from another woman in addition to my body and I’m not about to be caught in the middle. Not no way, not no how.

  35. Ed

    Well being a bi or as I have been called Omnisexual I truly love having sex with both sex’s and had a girlfriend who was cool with me playing with guys and we also had 3-somes with bi guys and we loved it until she moved back home and now I am looking for a good woman who is excepting of me so I can enjoy without lying or cheating like the majority of the guys I play with but it’s hard as hell to find 1 who isn’t freaked out by me enjoying men as well as women and I just see myself as pleasing my partner and besides the fact that sucking a cock is quite unlike eating a pussy the joy I get from pleasuring my partner is the same and I also enjoy the same kinds of things — passionate kissing, cuddling and love spooning especially when his cock is buried deep in my asshole and I use exactly the same technique to tonguefucking a nice clean asshole as I do when eating pussy and because I came very late in my life to guys still prefer having my emotional bonding with a woman but as time goes on i’m starting to embracing the thought of maybe falling in love with a nice guy as I have gotten very close and got to say this with guys my age I find it much easier to enjoy sexually relationships with guys because women are way more complicated and actually the sex is much more intense with guys and less hassle .But that’s just me and enjoy are all different

  36. Lamar

    Yep, I would and I have and would do it again right now! The only stipulation I’ve always had about it is that he’s single at the time. And I have loved the fuck out of em’, but never, never allowed myself to “fall in love.”


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