Gay Stuff : Sex by the Numbers; What is Yours?

Photo credit : High Performance Men

Would it bother you if a potential romantic partner is inexperienced in bed? What about if he is someone who is more sophisticated and liberal than you?

study revealed that the ideal number of sexual partners is 12. If a person had slept with 12 people in their lifetime then according to this study they are ‘sexually adventurous, liberal, and transient.’

To be precise the perfect range is 10 to 14 sexual partners while a person who has had less than 10 partners is considered sexually inexperienced and less adventurous when it comes to the bedroom department. But if one happened to have slept with over 19 people then that person is, “too eager to jump from partner to partner, or simply too selfish and difficult to please.”

Which brings us to this question: how true is this study for you, guys?

I must be considered a whore because I’ve slept with over 100 guys and I don’t even consider myself super active sexually, I used to be, but as I get older, I’m slowing down. How many guys did you sleep with so far? How did you fare and do you agree with the results of the aforementioned study? Do you even count the number of people you slept with? Do you disclose that number to your potential bedfellow or to your partner if they asked about it? Would the number of men your potential S.O. had slept with bother you? Why or why not?

Whatever a person’s number is, what matters is he had practiced safe sex and that he had not hurt or forced anyone to bed—himself or the other party on both counts. But I do think it would bother me if these numbers reflect the guy’s self-worth and if it is used to bolster his ego. If, you know, he sleeps around in order to earn himself bragging rights.

Thoughts? Share it with us in the comments section below.

There are 36 comments

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  1. Bkl83

    “Whatever a person’s number is, what matters is he had practiced safe sex and that he had not hurt or forced anyone to bed—himself or the other party on both counts. But I do think it would bother me if these numbers reflect the guy’s self-worth and if it is used to bolster his ego. If, you know, he sleeps around in order to earn himself bragging rights.”

    This sums up exactly how I feel. We already know that men’s sexual libido is higher than women’s on average, so it’s just biology that gay men tend to have a higher “bed count.” We’re more sexually active.

    Who cares how many people a guy has slept with. As long as he is honest about his HIV status and sexual health, then that’s all that matters. Men who try to use their bed number as some sort of trophy or crutch are just insecure.

    • Scott

      Uhmmm…in 2017 a persons HIV status is none of your business if they are being responsible and r virally suppressed…time for u to step up and take responsibility for ur own sexual health instead of placing the burden on someone else!

  2. Str8dangrs

    Well to be honest i have been with way more than a 200 guys and i have luved every min. I was with each one . Some of them had way more experience than my self and others were jest breaking out . But to be honest i dont belive a number means anything as long as you both enjoy it and its good for you both thats the most inportant. Plus the being with a lot of other guys only makes you better at (topping ) so the next guy your with will benifit from it as long as your not selfish and only conserned about getting yours ,witch to me is so wrong . To me its all about finding out what pleases the other guy and making sure it the best he ever had and if by chance you get yours along the way then hell yeah it perfect then . So forget about a number and jest enjoy that sexy body you have under you please him to no end it will be the best for you both .

    • Richard

      I agree. I started late(2001 @age 35) but in that time I’ve slept with a lot of guys and learned a lot about what I like and what others like as well. Would I like to find one guy exclusively? Sure, but until then I just want to have mutually beneficial fun with a lot of guys.

  3. Joe

    I’ve pushed into the triple digits myself. I’ve been careful to not share my number with guys. Most of them do consider someone “loose” or a “slut” who has been with over a hundred guys but it’s by circumstance, not choice. I would have rather had a lot of hot sex with a husband/partner/whatever over the years but I don’t have a toned/buff body. I don’t also fit into any of the gay stereotypes so I’m good enough for a fuck but not to date.

    Currently I’ve given up on the whole thing, sex and dating. Mostly because I no longer want to be used for a quick fuck and then forgotten.

  4. john

    I have been with more then 100 guys since I was 14. Some guys call me a slut but yet they come back to me. I just love that big dick inside me. You better kiss me if you cum inside me.

    • Bob

      I am glad to hear that some one else’s numbers are as high as mine ! At 65 I am grateful that I was wise enough to have been the chooser and not the chosen during the height of my sexual peak and the AIDS crisis. I either topped or it was Jacking off. I enjoyed being given a blow job and cumming inside my partner, my fetish was being cummed on my chest while my partner was riding my cock.

  5. Seth

    That study had to be straight men or teenagers. Come on! Over 19……I was in my 20s (years) in the 80s, so I was well above the 20s (men) by 1981! Lol. Call me a slut top if you want…… doesn’t mean I’m not a loving caring person

  6. Jack

    Yeah, I also don’t keep track or think it matters. Mine has to be over 200, and I have no regrets and plan to continue. I don’t tell guys I’m interested in my “number” and don’t think theirs is my business either. Oh, and John, I always kiss when I cum. It’s usually what makes me cum

  7. Commandobttm

    A loaded question, too many, your a slut, not enough you’re not experienced enough… How about the quality of our encounters rather than the quantity? Every guy has taught me something different, how to kiss, what got his attention, what held his attention, what made him want more……

  8. David

    Honestly, I’ve lost count. But to me, it’s not about a number. It’s not about a conquest. It’s about enjoying another man respectfully and safely.

  9. ajpat

    Gosh. I feel funny… don’t consider myself overly categoried but, wow, I am WAY over 50 (though up til this little survey I thought I was rather tame.) Now I am just grinning

  10. Keith

    I have no idea how many men I’ve had sex with but it’s certainly several hundred. I really don’t keep a little black book! That being said, I guess I’m a nymphomaniac. I have zero emotional attachment to sex partners, it’s just a physical need that we all have. And I love as much sex as possible. No apologies!

  11. Steve

    In my younger days, back in the 80s I was a whore. At one time I was keeping a dairy of just the first names of the guys I had been with. This was everything from a glory-hole quickie to an overnighter. The number of entries stopped at 350+ I think, and it might have been much more.
    Guess I am a tad experienced, Huh?

  12. Den

    12 partners in a lifetime?? I’d refer to that person as a nun. That works out to 1 sexual partner for every 4 years of your adult life —- hardly ideal. I am of the old generation -came out in the 70s – where you went out on the weekends and did not come home alone – you were broadening your sexual technique and your social circle. A perfectly delightful pastime! If we need to discuss numbers, id say i hit 500 by the time i graduated college – a tramp or slut in most everyones eyes. Ive never discussed numbers with any of my boyfriends or friends – i consider it pretty unimportant… One thing i do believe is that if you want to be skilled in oral sex or bottomming or topping, youre going to have to do it with more than 12 people.

  13. Mako Heath


  14. Cantgetenoughdick

    To be honest I am a cumslut and I have lost count how many dicks I have sucked and how many loads I have swallowed, but I am sure it is in the hundreds. It doesn’t take long to add up. Most I have swallowed in one night is 14. Not unusual to take 5-6 loads at a theater, ABS etc. Just started to be fucked in the past year or so, probably averaging getting fucked once a week. Always with a condom.

    It has nothing to do with self worth or ego but I do admit I like it when a guy tells me I suck good, give good head, best blowjob he has had or likes it when I deep throat. It was only natural to begin to be fucked after perfecting my oral skills. I am well adjusted. I don’t pay for sex. I just have a high sex drive. I just like dick and like taking dick. And can’t get enough Dick.

    • Thad

      After reading this i dont feel as bad…several thousand i am guessing…cum slut bb bottom here…an average weekend usually 5 to 7 loads. Only a few STDs over the years, bit of a surprise given the ” no loads refused” policy my ass has, LOL

  15. pinouye

    My number is well over 19, but that doesn’t mean I am difficult to please. I like sex, and I like sex with many different men. It’s all in the passion, the hunt, etc. I have a few regulars that I see often, but more than often it is a 1 time thing when I am traveling. I have no problem with having a high number of sex partners…

  16. Trevor

    I lost my virginity in college and then proceeded to sleep with 12 more guys that semester. I graduated having bottomed for 70+ different guys and def have hit 100+ since moving to NYC. Sex was almost too easy to obtain so I indulged. In fact I often seek tops who have fucked a lot of guys, it makes the sex better!

  17. pozoh

    As the Grimm’s fairy tale goes, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Sometimes you have to f**k a lot of frogs before you find a real prince, too. A sample size of 10 or less seems way too few, to really find that guy who is a keeper

  18. Jerry

    If sleeping with a guy includes fucking then sadly I am about average, but if you include blow jobs then I am well over 200. If it weren’t for finding a place and mutual time, I would jump the bones of every guys that I have cum in contact with and wanted to play…then as the guy above said I would be in the whore range and proud of it.

  19. rparktop

    10 – 14 partners in a lifetime? Sounds like Spring Break to me. I fucked more women than that. As for men, I have no idea. I was in the Vax-Gen study several years ago & we had to keep track of how many men we slept with & what we did & report it every 6 months when we were tested . If we came back neg we were given the next shot, if poz we were referred for treatment. The study lasted 3 years. There were guys that had sex with 60 guys in 6 months.
    I’ve stopped the sex with at least 10 guys because it was so bad, Hot + Big Cock doesn’t = good sex. That study is pure crap. Sucking cock is not a talent we are born with & realistically you don’t know what you’re doing till you’ve had a good 20 or so.
    The right number is what is right for you. Some of us are just more or less sexual than others. Some guys should do the rest of us a favor & not have sex at all.

    Whoever did that study did a terrible job & obviously used a very small sampling of gay men. I know straight men that have had sex with more than 14 men

  20. Jo

    I’m 24 yo and I’ve fucked with 20-30 guys since 2011…I really should try and track down the exact number lol.

  21. latinlust69

    I must have been a slut, but does t-room action count? Back in college I sucked one guy off almost daily and traded bjs with others across campus anytime I could find a willing cock or mouth. Back then Carol’s Speakeasy had a “backroom” where I had sex at least once a night. I like experienced guys, but hot inexperienced guys can be wild

  22. Sausage-sucker

    Have never kept count but in my 5 years with guys I would guess over a 100 or more but then when I was straight in high school I slept with over 200 women during my 4 years and just about everyone was in there 20 up to 40sand they taught me well and I don’t do it as proving anything just love sex and an extremely over developed sex drive that kicked in to ludicrous mode about 10 years ago and do enjoy group play and have been called a slut and I respond by saying your saying that like it’s a bad thing

  23. ilovedicks2

    Way more than even I think because I have 1 or 2 a day.So my guess is over 300 in a lifetime.I’m a male whore!

    Too bad it is not like the old day when I first came out as gay because a hole lot of men came around me nearly 20 years ago.
    Racism,homophobia and being on the DL is on the rise.

  24. Dan

    1970 to present? Damn 1000+? And it never mattered. The sexual revolution was getting past slut being a bad word. When called a slut, I knew it was from a guy having a lot less fun. It was attitude and quality over quantity.

    The ones that I sigh for in memory are some of the best one off’s as powerful to my body mind & heart and equal in value to 2 relationships that were honest open creative and we never had jealousy. I refused to have a relationship that was monogamous. I was with one guy for five years. Monogamous for first 2/5.

    My 2 partners were loving companions with less sex. And my events were spectacularly highly sensual highs and a few flops. But so much fun. I think the one that gets my motors going in thinking “I wander if I burnt up all my sex karma?” … was a young guy who wanted to be my slave or SUB to my DOM.. He came over weekends and organized play parties.

    Once I was in a great 3 way in my room while he had the rest of the house under his responsibility.
    I walked out to find 2 bottoms and line ups of 10 tops for each! As well as the second bedroom there was just too much going n out of control in my home. I hauled his ass out. Let him know what was wrong. The crass conga sex line in the house was nuts. He was being a big piggy bottom boy. He had guys coming in the door every few minutes. As I watched his ass being gangbanged I was told by an arrogant body builder, ‘Man, move on, you’re a loser!’ I replied since I paid the rent here his opinion was his cue to get out. He wanted to fight over at least staying until the sex was over, 8 minutes top, man! LOL.

    I took my SUB out of the room & I made him see what was a quality person at a play event, man by man. Gave him 15 minutes to clear the house to just us and 6 others. Do a good job now and no mistakes with losers or tweekers or unsafe pushy sex practices! Or I would shut it all down. Kick them all out. He was humiliated. And he made good choices. We learned so much together I cannot thank him enough. He was young and instantly attracted the best people, 25-55! Open mind and bigger heart.

    He learned to be more discriminating. He thanked me for it a few years later as he was promoted up to HQ, across the country. I loved my time with him. No regrets. Sad to see this kid … now a man … of 25 so smart, witty, kind and skilled with reading & treating people with the utmost respect. And he was fun! Reinvented my s duality through the experiences we do-created!

    We spent the last day at lunch together. He was so excited. So grateful, grown as a young punk into a good person. He was a true joy to my heart. Then a surprise party at home blew his mind for 1 1/2 days! Both of us learned to listen and feel intuitively others in a positive way. But the spirit of our creativity chemistry together was outstanding. We created something beautiful. I learned about how to be a creative DOM. First rate! Exhausting but fun. I like to think a good SUB is taking me on a psycho/sexual tour. 200-300 men jus through being with him. It was like surfing. Learning to plan, hang on, refine, let go and savour the great experiences of creating magic with sexuality.

    So 12? Well if you can learn quickly it could be as useful as 1000+. But hey, the sexual revolution gave us freedom, rights, history, power, increased fun. I was always reinventing myself one on one or in combnations. A home, a bath house, a glory hole, a forest in midsummer at 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. Magick is in never giving up. Taking an educated risk. Letting people into our lives. Feeling confident with more confidence as I co-created more experiences. New rules? No rules! Living well is the best revenge! No slut shaming! That was always my core. If you don’t like someone you can just as easily love them as they are and move on. Embrace the good people. Hang on. Long or short we don’t ever know the times we are will end or change. And they do.

  25. Cuntry Cowboy

    When I started out of too wanna B hornie of havin sex, #s was nuttin of anything on my mind as thee only thing counted B one dick, two balls and then til next time when I’m horned again. I was more for too have thee quality of orgasms than quanities, but sumtimes mild too wild could B spontaneous. Knowin I was sexually active suckin dick as bein sucked at 5yrs and started fuckin with men at 12yrs, female at 15yrs too 21yrs of multiple women as of +60- and then I was committed too my vows for my wife too B thee only woman in R/My Relationship as we seen thee same I’d B cheatin if with an affair of a woman, but she felt feelins with another man and relationship was not like any crutch or threat towards R marriage is what we both agreed upon. She never had sex with any of my male partners, but they’d go shoppin, clubbing, runnin, etc. We’ve all friends kinda like thee show. Thee 25yrs married I was slutin as I had always been and still havin luver, hubby relations. I was always nuttin solo or gitcha sumone multiple times daily as well as I was suckin cock, fuckin or Bein fucked like whores, but when called a whore, I decline and quote “I’m not a whore, as I don’t charge. No money here. I’m A Slut” I do Luv Sex and do Luv Men and I have had as Blanche of Golden Girls said, “I Had Men! I Have Had Many Men! I have Had Many Many Many Many Men!” I’m up there with WARREN BEATTY of into thee thousands of sexual pardners. BEATTY’S Count is approx. 12,575,000 women of his life time. All I can say I’m 64.5yrs old now and still activily sexual and started at 5yrs as that is about 60yrs of daily sex of sum sorts as I’m TRISEXUAL [try do any thing c sexual that can b ookimaginedtoo do] Then there was one time I did count my tricks in a black book as where I listed their name and recheck a mark if we got it on again as every time we did. I was able too have it for about two years when my wife found it, so she took it, couldn’t code it, threw it away too piss me off, but I had around 220 different men’s dicks names listed I’ve connected with of mostly suckin their cocks too swallowin loads of cum. then thee 6 years I worked out at Gold’s Gym I’d stop by thee park and meat several of thee same friends or sum new tricks, but daily as a regiment I’d always pull into thee park too meat up with dick #1, dick #2, Dick#3, a beer, nut my cock off from a suckin or fuckin and suckin another 1-2-3-more too get my way too thee gym of havin my full feedin of man male testosterone protein for pumpin iron steel hard muscles. Well just figure and do thee math, but it’s incomplete as sum years R unaccountable and missin. 3-6 dicks a day x 365 days x 6 years 220diff dicks 365+365 dicks form 5yrs too 64! Yow Warren has no egos as I have no egos as Warren’s Lawyer believes there ought too B an introduction too Guiness Book of World Records with a blushin denial.

  26. Tom

    I wish I knew the name of every man I have slept with… Hmmmm. I hate to admit to this but I know i have had sex with over 5000 different men. Does that make me a complete fucking whore? Absolutely NOT. I am considered a prude to my friends.

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