Speak Out : Why Do Gays Take Drugs For Sex?


One of our members contacted me on A4A who wish to stay anonymous was asking this question. If you too would like to ask other members for their opinion on a subject, please feel free to send it to blog(at) (replace “at” by @)

“Why is it so hard to find gay men who are not high on drugs or into drugs at all. Are there no ordinary guys who can enjoy life and sex without chemical inducement of any kind – poppers to crystal meth – ?”

I personally don’t like to take drug and I definitely don’t drink much so I am not the right person to answer, please comment below. Do you take drugs to have sex? Why?



There are 122 comments

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  1. James

    I know its harder then hell to find someone clean. I’ve been clean this November will be 9 years I had to drop all my old friends in order to do so. Since then I have had only 1 relationship and still pot was involved. I have left and now again and still can’t find someone not into anything like that. I mean I do drink only maybe once or twice a month alcohol was never a problem though, so I could handle someone that drinks all the time no problem. What bugs the hell out of me is when hooking up they break out the poppers or bubble or whatnot, I was all ready to go but then I’m all sorry got to go. They are come on just once will be ok. Sorry fuck that I dont want to risk it not even to get laid.

  2. JR

    I totally agree. I do not take anything and can find it hard to find guys like me. The ones around me always smoke weed or do poppers. I don’t even drink and a lot of these guys have to have a beer to mellow out. I don’t understand it. I like to remember what happen and who I had sex with. Guys lie about this and everything else. I have tried and got at least two guy to go without drugs and drink and I think they had a better time. I have sex with a bunch of young ones off Adam and most take poppers. Kind of sad.

  3. hugablebear

    Drugs, never. Some alcohol, yes during a night of partying, but not get soused up for sex. I don’t want the sensations of intimacy be dulled. I want to enjoy every hot minute. And if I am getting plowed, I want to enjoy every thrust, every neck nibble, every word he says in my ear. Maybe I just learned to be high on life without any extra chemicals to help. But, this is just me and I will not judge anyone else. We already have too many people doing that.

  4. J.D.

    Good question….

    I don’t understand the whole “poppers” thing. I have had guys that did poppers and it smells! Does it really help them do anything???

  5. homer simms

    I personally don’t use drugs either, but know people that do, I don’t think its so much a sexual thing as it is that they can’t deal with their lives being gay or straight

  6. no_pnp_forme

    There are lots of guys that do. I’ve been around them, and I’ve participated, but there isn’t really a drug that makes sex better for me than just stone-cold sober sex. Smoking a little weed before can be better in some circumstances, but it can also make the whole experience much worse.

    Alcohol, the drug that most (not just gay people) people tend to take before sex is probably the worst. Your breathe smells like it, their breathe smells like it, and it hangs around the whole experience like a cloying stupifying nectar. I’d take an awkward sober hookup over a heated alcohol-fueled hookup any day.

    Let’s be real though – it’s gotta be good on ecstasy, anyone have any first hand experience?

  7. seth

    Thats a question I ask myself all the times. I can’t hardly meet a guy who doesn’t do some kind of drug to include poppers or are always drunk. I’m all for a few drinks and having fun but not getting drunk. I never did drugs and I won’t do them either and that includes cigerettes (eeewww, who likes to kiss an ashtray?). It seems from my experience that most gays who are into drugs can’t get their d!ck up or able to take d!ck without taking some kind of drugs. Maybe if yall stop doing the drug use you be able to have some hot sweaty passionate sex. I also noticed that the ones who do drugs tend to be (whats the word i’m looking for) more of “hoe” or “slut”.. Its not cute when i log on here and get msgs from guys telling me that they just had sex and some guy bust is nut in him and they want someone else to do the same thing.. Are you serious? Better yet is when tops say when i use so I can get hard more than one time and can have sex more than one time without cumming.. Either way I don’t date or hook up with druggies, smokers, or alcoholics.. Hell I don’t like meeting men who call themselves some kind of furry animal, gay label, or something that is offensive, not to mention trannies or drag queens.. To me you are the lowest of the low if you do drugs..

  8. S. Lee Keels

    Poppers make being a bottom much simpler. Opens you right up! Won’t mess with meth. Hate anything that prevents sleep.

  9. bottomboy34

    Well there is the obvious reason that drugs can lower inhibitions and sometimes numb nerve ending a little so that you can accomplish deeper penetration, harder fucking, fisting, etc. That being said, being too high ruins the sexual experience. I have been with groups where its all party and no play, that sucks. I would rather be sober and experience the intense feeling a fist entering my anus, its so fucking hot. I do like poppers, the rush reminds me of being choked, which I like. If I had to choose, I would take a good fucking over a good high any day.

  10. LaReaux

    I’m not personally into the strong stuff (i.e. coke, Tina, X), but I do enjoy sex while under the influence of marijuana. Yes, it is great to be “high” off life, but it’s something else when you feel lifted! I’m not promoting drug use of any kind, but it’s my experience, with my drug of choice, that I am more in tune with the person. The connection seems to intensify! Sometimes you feel you can do more or take more, sometimes you want passion, and sometimes you want a bukkake! Depends on the drug(s)!

    But let’s be for real! The drugs help people to relax and be themselves. All too often, we’re suppressed by our everyday lives and we need a release if only for that moment. We, more often, you want to share that experience with someone who is willing to take us at our most carnal self, our naked form, without the ample judgments and criteria set forth amongst the ample ads on A4A.

    So now you’re thinking drugs alter your judgment and, sometimes, it does. That depends on the drug as some have a stronger affect than others. I personally don’t like feeling like a zombie, but some bottoms like drugs to take dick. Some tops like it for the adrenaline rush and aphrodisiac effect.

    So there are many reasons why gay men like drugs. Now is it for everybody? No. And there are many others who believe the same. Finding them is the hard part, but they are definitely out there. I know because I keep running into them and don’t want to!

  11. muzyqman

    Lots of reasons.

    First, I think there are probably a lot of gay men who can’t get hard and/or stay hard without drugs of some kind.

    Second, I think much of it is peer pressure. When one man wants to do drugs as part of sex, he wants the other to do drugs with him so he doesn’t have to feel guilty.

    Third, I think there are many who are convinced that the sex is better with drugs. But I believe this is only true if you can’t get it up without the drugs. If you can, the sex is always better with a clear head.

    Fourth, many bottoms do drugs in an attempt to eliminate the pain, especially when you don’t know if your partner cares about your enjoyment or just about his own orgasm.

    And that doesn’t even consider the ones who just need the drugs to get through life.

    I think it’s a damned shame in all cases. I prefer to be drug- and alcohol-free when I start anything sexual, but a lot of people have done a mindfuck on themselves about sex and drugs going together.

    Anyway, that’s my 2 cents.

  12. Shawn

    While I personally have not run into this issue… maybe this user is living in a heavily drugged area? That being said, I think the reason its become acceptable to combine drugs and sex is because our “traditional” sex act comes with an certain amount of pain, at least initially, and poppers and certain recreational drugs can help to alleviate that and let you just enjoy yourself.

  13. Lovetobreed

    I’m a top in Phoenix and I run into this problem frequently. I do not personally do drugs to have sex. I’m about the connection and it being natural. I don’t judge those guys who PNP or anything else, but I think it’s a slippery slope for most guys. 1) I think guys think that since this “enhances” the sexual escapade, they forget about having sex with others any other way. 2) I also think that once they start this their bodies create a resistance so more and more needs to be taken/ingested etc in order to get the same high.

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to parties and witnessed “tops” who are so spun that they can’t even get it up. I mean I don’t mind, cause it means I have more choices. But it’s sad when you go meet up with someone and then can’t perform. Not saying that NOT having drugs this doesn’t happen, but it’s more prevalent with the bump of whatever the drug of choice is.

  14. boTTom2pound

    cause it is so much fun! I have met so many kool peeps and connections from partying,,, and the physicalness is amazing. u can take it much harder and deeper then if u weren’t partying lol and it won’t bother u ether cause it feels so good and sexy!

  15. Chris

    I have never taken any form of drugs…why…just never desired to experiment. I like to keep my mind and body healthy. I am close to 50 and can honestly say I have never even had one alcoholic drink. I’m just a good ole southern-boy, enjoy life to the fullest and wake up the next morning with no regrets..Am I missing anything society, life has to offer with good times through drugs, drinking..To me the answer is no. to others that is their life. As we say down south…pass the sweet tea ya’ll…Thanks Dave,, enjoy the blogs…!!!

  16. Jim

    Great question I am Bi use poppers when there is a big dick involved but that is it for me. I will have a beer once in a while.

  17. Peach

    Totally agree here.
    I believe it is probably a vestigial part of gay culture that just will not disappear.
    It is too bad, really, a lot of otherwise intelligent and handsome guys fall into this sort of dependency that extends beyond just for sex.
    …not to mention it sucks when they can’t get hard anymore.

  18. Ed

    There is a good deal of self loathing in the gay community still to this day. This self loathing is taught to us by the straight community through day to day discrimination, and violence. Many use drugs to escape their reality, thus the popularity to this day of the bars. Interesting that the institution that preys on our vulnerabilities is looked upon as a sanctuary of sorts. Drugs also give gays the out that starts out as ” I was so stoned last night etc, etc” This is a cop out for bad behavior . We perpetuate the sterotypes that cause us our grief to escape our sterotypes………hmmmmm!















  20. Dude520

    The reason being is because they do not possess the neurons to distinguish good from bad right from wrong and left from right. One would assume that one generation would learn from the either, however the verisimilitude states otherwise. I’m part of Generation Y and sadly we have learned nothing. Thank God I’m An Intellect!!!

  21. Cade

    The reality of this situation is that drugs, in general, are prevalent in this world amongst everyone, so to think that gay men would be excluded from that is a fairy tale or a fable. Just as there as plenty of people who engage in drugs, there are, in my opinion, way more who do not, nor have a desire to.

    I’m not much of a drinker, outside of an occasional glass of wine, but the same argument can easily be made about people having alcohol induced drunk sex. But because alcohol is “legal”, it’s in the clear? I don’t know.

    I think in all cases, people use drugs during their sexcapades for the same reasons people use drugs when they aren’t engaging in sex. I used to see poppers being used when a person was bottoming, but that’s not the case anymore, I see.

    What I don’t quite understand is guys who want to “top”, but are way too coked up or high off crystal meth. Granted for bottoms, this seems to bring their wild and insatiable side out (outside from the other questionable drug induced behaviors), but for Tops? That stuff prevents you from keeping a good erection, even with all the cock rings and pills and things. I don’t get it? That will ruin a session immediately. I’m sorry, I enjoy being able to naturally have and KEEP my good erection.

    I’m not the expert in drugs here, as I’ve only tried marijuana (Which I have ruled out as being the “drug” I was always taught it was, before trying it at age of 22). So maybe the input from someone more experienced in the area.

  22. Person

    It’s not ‘gays’ it’s people… maybe you should start looking for better people? Because I never meet ‘gays’ wanting to drugs and then fuck, maybe you naturally go for druggies…

  23. Krenim

    Seems like you’re messing with the wrong crowd. Out of all the men i’ve been with not one used drugs. It’s all about the people you hang around with. Also, I don’t think you need them to get off.

  24. Nick

    I like to use poppers since my ass is really tight and helps me relax but I don’t use anything else from 420 on up. Besides my company likes to random drug test and I’ve never had the desire to try anything more than poppers. I’ve hung out with guys who have large cocks, their hard as a rock and then shoot up and it goes down like falling hail stone. Needless to say I’ve had very disappointing sex with guys who “party”, them using a full bottle of lube to j/o and try to get it hard. I generally have no desire to hang out with or have sex with those who do because they cant get hard or stay hard.

  25. Mark

    I wouldn’t single it out to “gays”, but rather generalize the question to “why does anybody take drugs to have sex”……And there is your answer :-/

  26. Mitch

    I know I have had the same problem. Nice Twink tight as and loves to go all night. I asked him why he used drugs and his thing was it makes it hurt less. I am curious about that reason because that little done bag costs him $20 and for $20 I can several tubes of anle eze. Others say it makes them horny. They can’t cum or get off but there are horny as hell. I myself have never understood drugs. I am so out if it that I don’t even know where to get it. But I’m not sure it is just gay guys cause I see a lot of straight guys doing it to only difference is guys are easier to please and turn on. Guys generally don’t care as long as there a nice ass or dick open and working. With str8 guys they have to work so hard for pussy that they want to get every advantage possible so they may not do drugs to make them self more appealing to the women.

  27. 1versfucker

    Good question.
    I smoke weed sometimes with sex, I’ll admit.
    I’ve accidentally and intentionally tried most chemicals (once or twice) and just can’t validate the trade off. It’s sort of an ‘anxiety-driven experience’.
    Drugs have NEVER enhanced my sex encounters; actually ruined them.
    So I’m biased.
    Some guys, mostly bottoms have told me that it makes them ‘take it’ easier.
    But why desensitize your sensations? Others have told me it makes them less inhibited due to their low self-esteem and insecurity. That’s a pretty bad way to deal with your ‘stuff’. Ever fucked a ‘high’ bottom? Pretty lousy interaction, isn’t it?
    Even tops that do chems usually end up having to add Viagra to the mix to get things going again. But they’re still a lousy fuck. A drug to fix what another drug does? Really?
    Virtually all my encounters with tops or bottoms on ‘drugs’ have been lousy.
    But it’s not even worth arguing about this with pro-drug users for sex.
    Finally I believe that anyone who thinks that ‘tricking’ your body into wanting super long sex sessions, and augmenting that with drugs, is doing themselves lots of damage. Repeated users are obvious examples. I’ve seen guys go from ‘hot’ to ‘not’ in a few short years. 23 year-old that can’t even get it up.
    That’s my experience with drugs.

  28. robert

    I didn’t know this to be a problem. I’m not sure gay people use any more or less than everyone else. I think this is a non issue.

  29. Don43085

    Perhaps some are uncomfortable being themselves and have to push drugs or drink in order to let go enough to act. A social lubricant, so to speak. Well have never been a fan of either and I like my sex alert and aware. Increases personal safety and prevents bad judgement calls. I actually like what I do with men, so don’t need a chemical to falsely make it better. If you need that, then maybe what you are doing is not your best choice for yourself?

  30. NJ

    Iwould be lying if I said I never did. That was a long time ago, and Im so much happier sexually making love with my partner in a sober state of mind..And the bonus is that you know who youre waking up to in the morning..

  31. Tightleanjockq

    I don’t understand that eithere.i never ever have taken any kind off drugs…seems to me many in the gay community are unhappy with with them a escape . Find your self first is my moto.drugs and bb …..

  32. firtree

    I don’t understand it either. My boyfriend likes to be high when we make love. It makes me feel like he has to be high to want me. It really hurts my feelings.

  33. Hunter0500

    Do gays, all of them, take drugs during sex? No. Some do. Straights take drugs as well. During sex or not.

    Is the belief in this post borne from those gays who live in the stereotypical world of young, smooth, urban, trendy, club-attending, anonymous sex gays? Maybe drugs are a given in Stereotypical Land, but not for all gays everywhere. Yes, some outside of Stereotypical Land do it as well, but it’s not as prevalent.

    Why does anyone take drugs? Several fast possible answers are simple:
    Gotta get that high feeling!
    Gotta escape reality.
    Gotta feel good.
    Gotta look cool.

    Do any of those reasons hold up? No.

    Only one of my regular play buds does drugs during sex. Only been with him a couple of times and was looking to be with him more. He’s fun to play with in a number of ways. But because he yanks out the poppers (a real brain cell killer) when we play, his hotness is fading fast for me.

  34. Dan

    They guys I know that do it say it’s to intensify the satisfaction. I think it’s because they want to disconnect and not feel like a dirty whore. But anyways it’s a huge turn off to have someone want to fuck for hours but not be able to get it up or cum.

  35. Noel

    Most guys that take drugs for sex, from my experience, fall into two categories. The first can’t lose their inhibitions without being high, and the other actually thins drugs enhance sex. I think that both groups are pathetic losers, and usually the “do you party” question results in an instant block.


    I personally find the title to this to be a little bit horrendous, clearly sayin that all gays partake in such risky behavior, almost like we are all drug addicts. With that being said, i can understand the abhorrence you may feel to those who do, it is gross and a little bit weird to be cruising a site for drugs. i keep picturing that movie back in the day named Juice, where a teenager is selling drugs and a crackhead lady says she will suck his baby dick.

  37. Howardangel

    I don’t like taking poisons in my body. Im not crazy about alcohol but more into wine nowadays as I pass 40 mark. Tried smoking around 8 years old and didn’t like it. My sex partner told me to try marijuana to get sexual high but it didn’t do anything for me. I guess I have high threshold for pain so always interested in sexual adventures and competitive in sporting events without ever resorting to pain killers or illegal drugs. I like mature guys but most of them tend to have some crazy drug history or substance abuse which are hard to make it into a successful relationship. Hopelessly looking for a healthy and great lover instead for now.

  38. Eric

    Have you seen what some of these guys have between their thighs? These bottoms have to be high on something to want to get fucked by those…….Just sayin’.

  39. D3

    I can’t speak for tops, but as a bottom I prefer 420 and poppers. Anal sex, as pleasurable as it can be, it can also be equally painful. The high I get from poppers allows me to focus more on the pleasure and less on the pain. I think others can relate but may have their own choice in drugs.

  40. nwindianaman

    I Cant speak for any drug except for poppers. to suck a long cock all the way to the balls, poppers let me so that. to comfortably get fucked, by almost any size, poppers help as well 😉

  41. multihanded

    For is a drug…n drugs are a BANDaide to mask the real pain in their life..they re running from something and after awhile sex isn t enough so drugs are added to help hide even more

    If guys would look more for real connections in life..drugs would not be needed….be commited to one guy n be excited over him…not trying to run n hide… s all the same.miserable guys w miserable lives believing it enhances their life..sadly it doesn t

  42. Almost9

    Marijuana is a replacement for alcohol for me; I’m shy, been hurt more times than light bulbs have been changed on Broadway, and it creates a buffer betwixt what I would normally say and what actually comes out. Until I was 18, I was anti-drug, but my first lover (12 years my senior) introduced me to weed and I thank him for it. Alcohol leaves me incoherent and physically ill (either then or the next morning) which is not how I want to present myself on a first meeting. It simply depends on the kind of person you are, yoga or remote control, really….

  43. The_Inspector_069

    I think a majority of guys take drugs is to release the anxiety before engaging in sexual encounters. Some may say that being high makes sex all that much better. Others may say that it make them perform better. What ever the reason.

    I personally do not like it. I had sex with someone that did cocaine before having sex and the bastard couldn’t keep it up. Damn him! 🙂

  44. Brandon

    I done think its just gay men alot of people in general are dopers there everywhere you look I done like drugs either even just talking about them makes me uncomfortable I’m not actually gay I’m bi but in my opinion drugs are everywhere and druggies definitely outnumber regular people

  45. Carlos

    I worked at a bar next door to a sex shop which were NOT in a gay neighborhood. It’s not only gay men that use poppers and I’m sure that’s the same for many other drugs. It’s brought up in the movie Fight Club when the woman dying of cancer begs for sex. I know girls that say weed makes them horny; same with alcohol – a legal drug that can also lead to dependency.

    Living in a major city, I must say that I have never known someone to be on meth, gay or straight. I’ve had my suspicions, but then that was never because of one’s sexuality (or my guess to their sexuality), but because they were missing teeth and had scabs on their face– and that could be men or women, gay or straight.

    To answer the broader question, I think people sometimes prefer to be under another influence because then they can be more open with their sexuality without feeling “shame”, allowing them to be less inhibited.

    I do use poppers more often than not– and I feel like it enhances my experience.

  46. David

    All I can say is that this lifestyle is getting more and more depressing! Say that you don’t do bareback sex or drugs and half of the people online no longer want to talk with you!

  47. Xavier

    The reason…..mcst of the sex being had is meaningless. Nothing wrong with one night stands or flings but I believe drugs are a way to escape the fact that basically you are only pleasing yourself. A hook-up is a selfish act about having personal needs met. You want the other person or persons to enjoy it but honsetly you are there to get yourself off. Drugs heighten the sensation of just that. They allow you to forget that you are just as much a piece of ass just like the person you are fucking with. Its also an excuse to fuck. I have no problem with guys on chems. I don’t use them but a good power bottom on chems allows me to get as rough, verbal and kinky as I like.

  48. Neosoule

    I feel like some gay/bi men may take drugs to intensify the experience. I myself have smoked herb to get a nice psychedelic experience while having sex. I’ve never tried the hard drugs but to each his own. I’ve heard the hard drugs are a hell of a ride also. Long story short throughout history people have used drugs to induce a good time, whether it be sexually, mentally, or spiritually. And us gay/bi men who do dabble in the “cookie jar” per say are no different than straight men doing the exact same thing. And I completely understand where you are coming from also because you do not need drugs of any kind to have an excellent sexual experience, but some men just want to have fun to knock the edge off.

  49. Ezzo

    Yes, I have been asking that very same question forever.
    Seems like a guy can’t take a cock up his ass unless he’s as high as a kite, and not in any sober condition to enjoy it, so why even bother.
    Makes initiating sex with another man not even worth it anymore.

  50. Scifi32

    Hmmm. Wherever you are finding these “junkies” you need to stop looking there. Their plenty of men out there that don’t use. But “ordinary” ? Don’t think I can handle that 😉

  51. Kevin Pitts (kencat)

    Yes you are absolutely right, most gay men are using drugs and alcohol to the extreme. As far as the question you asked no I do not take drugs or do I use alcohol. I also do not look for dates in the local clubs because most of these guys are wasted on alcohol and drugs. I believe that these substances interrupt male sexual performance. I also believe that the use of alcohol and drugs leave you much more susceptible to STDs because people under the influence are less likely to use safe sex. In closing I can only say the gay community needs to start cleaning up their act on drugs and alcohol. How can the gay community expect to be treated as equals if they do not stop this type of behavior.

  52. Ashton Graham

    Well, I think this is a great question that does not have a blanket answer. I believe it all comes down to the person using the drug. As a former toker of the green herb (420 as a lot like to call it), I would smoke before having sex simply because of the stereotype behind it. I believed the person who I would be having sex with would think I was more desirable and more “relaxed” (for the lack of a better term) which would in turn make the sex more physically pleasurable. The opposite held true (or so I believed it to be true) that if I did not use before sex, that the said person would think I was less desirable and the sex would be less than pleasurable. My drug (let’s be real guys; marijuana IS technically a drug…) use was mostly stigma driven. I mostly “top”, so if I met up with my type of males to have sex with, I believed they would think I was more masculine and, of course, more sexually desirable if I carried myself like the senior class of my generation…*rolls eyes* I believed that if I smoked blunts like Wiz Khalifa or even had tattoos like Tyga, I’d be more attractive… When I bottomed (which was only for my boyfriend; not that that truly matters, but I had to say it…LOL), I believed [he] would only think I was relaxed enough to take his (rather large) dick if I smoked a L (blunt) before we had sex. Of course this wasn’t true, but I’d began to believe that because of the new sensations we’d discovered the first time we’d had sex after I smoked marijuana. It became something of an unsaid, unmentioned, but ever-present conclusion. Which in turn leads me to my opinion on the drug now, which is not a positive nor negative one but simply a more HEALTHY one. First of all, drugs are not good for you. Since I’ve stopped using/smoking marijuana, I have become healthier in every way and I have an amazing sex life now. If you do choose to combine sex and drugs, please, please, please remember: a drug should never be used to MAKE the experience; It should only be used to ENHANCE the experience. If a drug is needed for you to have sex then the essence of what makes sex what it is (unifying two bodies masterfully to induce pleasure 😉 ) is already lost. Over time, using a drug with sex will almost always become a threesome (or even foursome if your partner uses as well) every time you have sex, which is not always so great… Also, sex will become strictly physical with little to no mental and/or spiritual stimulation! At times I felt like I was cheating myself out of what would be amazing sex without the drug…and that sucked after a while! My advice to anyone who feels they have to combine sex with drugs for it to be pleasurable would be to evaluate why you are using the drug in the first place. Be honest with yourself if not anyone else.. In time, you will learn that sex can be and is more pleasurable not just physically, but mentally and spiritually without using drugs beforehand. In my case, I simply was not confident, sexually, yet (I am 23 now). So the lack of self-confidence, sexually, could be considered my catalyst into feeling the need to use a drug to be sexually competent. Since I’ve developed a healthy self-esteem, I no longer want or need to use a drug to feel competent, in any way.

  53. crankyd

    Maybe because so many gay men are STILL so overwrought with with shame and confusion that they seem to have convinced themselves that they need to be numb to carry out the sex act as a cover for their actions?

  54. CS

    I’ve been sober for 15 years now. This topic is one of discussion like you wouldn’t believe. Obviously it’s a topic of depth. So therefore it scares people to talk about. What I have found, not concluded, but found is it’s a combination of things. There’s always an addict or alcoholic. Genetic or otherwise, that just happens. But throw in that mix an “un-accepted” childhood.. Perhaps distant parents when it came to being a gay child. Bullying, gay bashing (as we used to call it) etc… and you have the right ingredients for self loathing and fear of intimacy. Drugs will take all those fears away. And on top of that, make you believe that you never had any of them to begin with. If I’ve learned anything in my sober years, it’ this: F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. Stay strong friends. And have sex sober…it’s more fun to do and remember the next day!!

  55. mike

    I personally don’t even do poppers but I’m told it’s a rush and it makes the orgasm better, but my feeling is that personally I am in no need of help with that and it is a huge turn off to me if people do drugs even poppers

  56. Ramdy

    I don’t think gay men use drugs in order to have sex. Personally, I use them because it enhances the sexual pleasure. That is the sole reason that I use. If the guy I am with wants to use or doesn’t that is cool with me. I don’t have to be high to enjoy sex. I just don’t see anything wrong using something that is going to make thexsex even more incredible.

  57. jon jay

    Warning— gays that take drugs to have sex want multiple partners, and many sexual encounters. Taking drugs with sex means that you are playing the field. That’s fine, as long as one is UPFRONT and honest about using drugs and having multi partners without intention of relationship.

    if you do not take drugs or do liquor or smoke pot it is difficult to socialize…its tricky. Nobody wants to hear that you are healthy and clean. But, there is a way. Unfortunately, if you are in the company of others abusing substances—-liquor or others…..that’s what cha gonna get in return.

    If they are using meth or pot or crack….steer clear….oh so many of those turkeys are talking bare back action…..just walk the other way….its a death wish. Its a big problem, this is a hot topic.

    PreP does not cure herpes and clap !

  58. Anonymous

    I’ll come right out and say that yes I have and sometimes do dabble in certain party favors which will remain nameless. I have found that the biggest reason I had been attracted to drug use along with sex would be the feeling of acceptance and involvement. In my personal opinion, I feel the gay male crowd can be ruthless, vindictive, childish, and just flat out mean to one another. Or in a nutshell, too much drama you’d swear was brought on by high school girls. This is the very reason why I do no hang out in the gay scene because it is less to have to emotionally deal with… It’s nice when you’re under the influence and a beautiful guy you’ve been “parTying” with finds you attractive and wants to have some fun. More so when you don’t normally feel like an attractive person (even though your friends, family, and sometimes even perfect strangers comment about how cute you look). I just don’t see it no matter how much I doll myself up for the public. When you’re under the influence, it’s an ego boost when you’re wanted in such a way by someone so beautiful. Of course deep in the back of my mind there’s a little voice saying “It’s just a mask… It’s all a drug induced illusion… That person doesn’t really want you in such a way… They’re just horny at the moment cause they’re messed up and you’re the closest thing to them they can have sex with.” Honestly, these feelings are terrible and a lot of it (at least to me personally) was brought on by nasty ex-boyfriends or so-called friends in the past that played the fake game. I’m currently single and I feel like any guy I go on a date with, never calls me again after the first date or even shows any further interest in getting to know me. My substance use was more or less brought on by self-esteem issues, the feeling of mental security or lack thereof, and being abused in the past by men. I won’t lie, the feeling of being on the substances is amazing! You feel like you can conquer the world, you’re ridiculously happy and nothing can get you down, and all you want is sex right then and there. But even that has its up’s and it’s downs…

  59. Andrew

    I have honestly never had any issues with drugs. The guys I have been with have been far away, the closest they have ever done is a popper or Viagra, but none of the really hard stuff like cocaine or anything like that. Also, it is not just the gay community that uses drugs when having sex, you would be surprised as to how many straight couples use cocaine, ecstasy, pot, you name it, when they are having sex. I don’t do drugs for sex, but it is also not a gay exclusive act either. Heaps of straight couples do it too.

  60. veroirish81

    There are many guys that dont use drugs for sex or at any other time, but all the ones that do are definitely looking for sex online.

    Im vers, but man do I love a fresh bottle of rush when im getting plowed!

  61. Wkustar30

    I’ve wondered the same thing. More than half of the guys I’ve hooked up with are usually huffing poppers. I’m always offered and refused. I have been told by one guy it helps him relax when he’s getting ready to bottom. No idea on the truth to that.

  62. Matt

    Here is my opinion: I love using poppers when I have sex but I do not consider them a drug since there is no long lasting impairment after and they are not illegal nor do they show up in any drug screen.

    HOWEVER: The few unfortunate times I have played with guys who use “Tina” (Meth)the hookup 100% is about the drug and 0% about sex. So for them, the “getting high” trumps the “getting off” and that’s a turn off for me.

    When a dude tells me he ParTies and Plays – it’s like “no with me you don’t – later gator” and he is summarily kicked to the curb.

  63. Mike5038

    I have done poppers and smoked some weed is about it for me. I like the way poppers make you feel while you are having sex . It makes you more relax and I enjoy it a lot more.

  64. SDS

    Compartmentalization and self deprecation. Very often guys use drugs to numb themselves from behavior and/or identity they are ashamed of and want to be separated from.

  65. Gabe

    Truthfully this guy is obviously looking in all the wrong places for sex or he picks the ones that do it? I feel the person you are reflects on the guys you have sex with. If your the kind of guy who sleeps around with guys and like risky sex then its easy to tell you have std. Esp the ones that do drugs and tell you only live once just do it. No sorry i dont believe in that saying. they may have gotten away saying somthing like that back in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. But in 2014 id rather a guy std free, drug free, and health conscious as me.

  66. Parker

    I think the bar scene is popular for this type of activity but not exclusive to gay people. It goes main stream, I think people are so inhibited they feel they have to go to altered states to release their sexuality and sometimes not take the responsibility of their actions and besides it fun to open an altered state of sexuality for pushing the limits in sex and exploring possibilities.

  67. allen

    I guess some guys… Don’t want to , tell the truth about it.. some guys think it makes them relax of they are taking a big cock up their ass. Other guys seem to say it makes the sex better. In all to each their own.. I don’t judge them…

  68. SouthEasterner

    I have a little experience with this…

    First of all: drugs like crystal meth are HIGHLY addictive.
    So regardless of why a person tried the drug, it can be very difficult to stop.

    The difficulty is just compounded when a person associates the high with having sex.

    So now I’ll try to answer the question more directly:

    Different people have different reasons for “taking drugs to have sex”.
    Here are some obvious reasons that I’ve observed:

    -the drugs help them to be less nervous.
    Without the drugs they would be too anxious to enjoy the experience.

    -crystal meth is a well known aphrodisiac, it’s cheap (relatively), and long lasting.

    -as well as being an aphrodisiac, meth lowers your inhibitions. So someone on meth is way more likely to do things they wouldn’t do otherwise.

    I think a lot of drugs are used for similar purposes (poppers, alcohol, etc.).

    A lot of users would probably try to deny any deeper reason for their drug use by saying “it just feels good”.

    It is easier for a lot of people to do stupid things by just not devoting any serious thought to their actions.

    It’s uncool, unhealthy, unattractive, and is kind of a serious problem in the gay community.

    Hope my answer shed a little light on what is a pretty dark and gloomy issue.

  69. Joe

    We all (most of the sane grounded people) know why this occurs. We just hate how it sounds and the truth is not the narrative we want so somehow it is justified. Correlate this with HIV and I am sure you see a bigger connection. We have to QUIT the culture that says this is the norm and stand up for what is responsible and make it clear being safe and responsible and in control can and is still HOT — We have to take a bigger stand on this instead of a random blog once a year on this.

  70. that1guy

    in my experience it’s because some dudes cant take dick so they use poppers. personally it’s not my thing but hey if a few sniffs means you’ll be able to take 3 straight hours of me fucking your ass hole , then who am i to judge?

  71. Antar

    I think people mix drugs and sex for many reasons , and from my personal experience the outcomes are mixed. I have had greatly fulfilling hook ups on drugs, specifically meth combined with GHB. Why? The amphetamine gives me more stamina which allows me to pass through physical thresholds and this extends the mutual exploration and stimulation. The GHB in small amounts often temporarily helps me to relax emotional tensions and can facilitate greater empathy or awareness of the emotional states of self and the partner.

    A uniquely intimate connection frequently occurs where the chemicals enhance the sexual bond wherein the discomfiting concealed shame many of us both straight and gay have about the body and sexuality is momentarily suspended. Many gay men still hold in and are conditioned by centuries old cultural taboos prohibiting physical intimacy between men, not to mention emotional disclosure of intimacy. I think then for many gays there seems to be no issued with the conquest, sparring, and simple penetrative aspects of sex. And these are often extolled or held to be the alpha and omega of male same sex contacts which appears as the common preoccupation with dick size , musculature , and conventional rigid sex roles; the top /bottom game. The reality of sex as a
    sitnatural avenue for one to release self destructive and toxic feelings of shame, fear ,.disgust that are embedded deeply in our culture. These are the emotional basis of homophobia and to some degree many of us still have not acknowledged how much we still carry regarding the taboo of man/man intimacy. It might be that the use of drugs can be therapeutic to some in that at times and with the suitable partners the armoured shame and need to conceal and hide are fall away . That is just one side of the issue but let me say that some gays use drugs and liquor to create an false enchantment as an aid to create affinities with partners with whom no natural emotional affinity exists, where the choice of the partner is based upon only physical criteria like body type, or simple expediency , or compulsive degradation and sheer exploitation some of us try to normalize through codes of personal freedom

  72. Matt

    Root causes: narcissistic personality disorder (all about me), borderline personality disorder (the “snap” psycho effect), fatalism (nothing matters), and nihilism (life is meaningless).

    Because of societal pressures, political pressures (to be a rainbow shitting unicorn), and the moronic “I don’t give a fuck” attitude of the gay swirl, a lot of psychological dysfunction is present in gay men.

    Therapy scmherapy! Self-medicate instead!

  73. Bret

    A sniff or two of poppers just before I cum and I shoot like a rocket!! I’m talking like a 1/4 cup of cum. It’s a huge mess. Sometimes I multiple orgasm and just keep cumming 3 or 4 times. My personal best is 7. Poppers also help when taking a huge dick in your ass.

  74. Indigo

    Addiction and access is indicative of low self-esteem, brokenness, and a disregard for a healthy future. How many gays do you know who were initially ecstatic about being a flaming homo? How many were fortunate to not have bee mocked at some point? How many do you know who haven’t experienced shame? Few, if any.

    Digging deeper how many non jaded gays do you know? Many of us are in an extended recovery from that one bad breakup. While many others are recovering from serial dating because they’re either too proud or simply don’t know how to heal.

    Think that’s enough? Log onto any gay dating or hook up site and you’ll find the most vile, neurotic pickiest judgmental bitches who want equality known to man. Imagine already feeling like shit to only get attention by whoring yourself out. To be told you’re too fat, too skinny, your dick is too little, you’re too dark, too light, you’re left handed, etc. Pay close attention how few actually have the balls to judge the content of someone’s heart. They can’t . Theirs is still broken. In fact all of the bitchy profiles you read are mostly written by someone who is hurting and have yet to offer or experience forgiveness. Think about it.

    Will someone sell me an eiighth?

  75. Frostby

    Frankly, the search for sexual partners tends to be so frustrating, I don’t find it at all surprising that many men turn to drugs as a mental distraction, a phsyical encouragement or even a psychologically self-satisfying release mechanism during the seemingly endless erotic navigations of pubs, clubs, dancehalls, bathhouses, chatrooms, etc. looking for YOU. If it weren’t for the chemical margins, the deflating disappointments of frustrated romantic encounters, miscommunications, false starts and outright lies would surely derail, in due course, the highly charged denands of sexual mechanics permanently. Of course, the longer the search, the more likely the synthetic pleasures become habitually confused for and perhaps preferred over the natural satisfaction of sex or love, but this doesn’t have to be assumed. If you truly have better delights to proffer than drink or drug, then with some patience and perhaps less self righteously enjoyed detours into someone else’s substance, a bit of time and shared experiences might give you both something mutually inspiring to value over his impracticalities or your ideals, the both being rather cold trophies for empty ways of living. Better you should have someone sensually addicted to realign towards rewards more meaningful in time than the alternative, no one at all at the end without something in the middle to help muddle through.

  76. Thom

    Once again, I concur that we cannot use blanket statements to be all inclusive. With that being said, I personally drink socially on rare occasions and have sex a bit more frequently. I’m not a prude and have partook of a few party enhancers when I was younger but they never took the place of truly being “into” the person I was with.

    I think that at least for many in my generation, it was a way of releasing inhibitions and for others it was a way of relieving (for many) the monotony of having sex with multiple partners who really didn’t “do it” for them. Some of my contemporaries had sex A LOT and I think that they felt the need to JAZZ IT UP. When an activity begins to lose it’s “specialness”, one often reaches for something to bring back that feeling.

    I know that some media portray gay males as being excessively promiscuous and while that stereotype is based in reality, it puts a bit of pressure on those who may be less secure in themselves to conform to that perceived norm. Some may need enhancement to be able to participate/enjoy. I was lucky as a young man to have a great deal of “experiences” which were rich in diversity and enjoyed almost all of them. Thank goodness they were in a day and age when it was safer. That’s probably why I’m still alive—I was lucky. I subsequently was in monogamous relationships and thoroughly loved being in them. I fear for our youth who seek experience and for those within our community who find their self worth tied to the sheer NUMBERS of men who find them sexually attractive enough to bed them.

    Perhaps as we dialogue about these things, we move the cultural perspective/paradigm to a safer place for our health, both physical and mental.

  77. JC

    If someone REALLY needs a drug like Viagra or Cialis to get or maintain a hard-on, that’s one thing. But all these mood-altering street drugs–no way. It’s not just a gay thing, str8 folks abuse too.

    It’s difficult to really trust someone whose mind is warped by anything from heavy alcohol to pot to ecstasy to coke to meth….or worse. It just doesn’t happen in my house. If it happened prior to getting to my house and it is obvious— time to go.


    I really don’t understand poz guys who over-drink or abuse other drugs while on what are usually very effective (and very expensive) HIV meds. There are bad short-term but more importantly horrible long-term implications for altering these meds’ effectiveness. Listen to common sense and your doctors, guys. It’s taken over 30 years to develop and improve miraculous meds like Stribild, Complera, Atripla, etc. and by not being compliant in every way guys sabotage their long-term prospects and jeopardize their (hopefully) undetectable status.

  78. Scarpien

    I thought it was just me who didn’t “get it.”
    I drink on occasion and I’ve never smoked so much as a cigarette or taken drugs yet it seems everywhere I look gay guys are abusing their bodies every chance they get like they can order a new one online when the current one breaks down.
    What they don’t seem to realize is that there is something to the phrase “everything in moderation.” Your body treats you the way you treat it.
    There was this guy I used to hook up with every now and then who not only used poppers but drank like a sailor; he could never get an erection but it never occurred to him why. He continually tried to get me to take poppers with him and I had to keep telling him I get high “naturally.” Finally I had to cut him off because I couldn’t deal with him constantly trying to get me to do poppers with him no matter how many times I declined.

  79. Safe than Sorry

    very interesting question, but the issue is not exclusive to the gay community. the question is a loaded one. it is interconnected with other social phenomena, such as,
    1.increase of illicit drug use in society as a whole
    2. safe sex fatigue ( more of a focus in the gay community).
    3. misconception of which drugs are dangerous.

    1. poppers are popular and dangerous!.. studies have shown that nitrates causes dementia related diseases like alzheimer’s. if you want to relax your muscles, how about doing foreplay.use enough lube. get fucked by a guy who wants you to actually enjoy it!

  80. Blake Nazareth

    Honestly you are making it a gay thing it all depends on the individual. Personally smoke pot and have a few drinks here and there, thing is I don’t need them to have a hot time. Tend to use if going out or a quiet night at the house.

  81. parTyDuder

    I take drugs and jack off. Im mostly straight and if it weren’t for the drugs I wouldn’t think about dick. But when I party im always wanting to suck some nice cut shaved dick.


    people are so brainwashed its ashamed almost every thread ive read does not consider alcohol a drug when it clearly is a stimulant! #education is paramount!
    Just because its legal does not mean its not a drug

  83. Mike@415

    Speaking as an Addict in 12-Step Narcotics Anonymous.

    As AA members still refer themselves as being an Alcoholic, being in NA, I still identify as an Addict, despite not having used drugs in over 8 years.

    First, it’s not just a gay community issue, it’s a human issue not relegated by gender, sex or sexual orientation. I used drugs and drank because of depression and anxiety; it was a form as escape.

    After being “outed” by my mother, I was forced into reparative therapy with my parish priest and a psychologist, but it backfired on her. Those people wanted me to deal with just being gay and be self-confident. There was nothing wrong with me. Because I was a minor at the time, those individuals told my mother about my progress, and when she realized that was not the result she wanted for me, she fired them both; she made me see other therapists.

    Long story short, I used sex as a means to make myself feel better. I became a Sex Addict and a Sex/ Love Addict. The more sex I had, the more desirable I felt by other men, it gave me a boost of self worth. Guys even paid me to have sex with them in my teens.

    Then I was introduced to drugs. It numbed me from anything around me; the self-hatred, the worthlessness and loathing of my parents. And like most spiraling out-of-control, I started identifying drugs with sex, and could not do one without the other.

    After my third suicide attempt and forced hospitalization, I began to see things differently.

    Believe me when I say, it’s a very difficult journey, and one I don’t wish upon my worst enemies, but when I became an Addict, I felt accepted by other Alcoholics and Addicts; I thought I forged an accepting family. I was wrong.

    People use drugs for sex for different reasons. That was mine. I wanted to be loved and accepted. By “using” and being around “users” I thought I got those things.

  84. Dave

    I’m not sure about the three hours worth, but poppers relax me enough to take a cock when I bottom (i’m versatile, 85% top) – can’t really bottom without them.

    As far as drugs, forget them. Alcohol – no more than a social drink as an icebreaker before a roll in the hay…

  85. keith

    I not into drugs or drinking and love to have sex with younger guys don’t know what poppers do or what weed does for sex but I enjoy just feeling everthing as im fucking a nice tight ass


    Admitting – I do like the popper rush when I’m chowing down on a nice tube steak . That’s it though, No booze , no drugs. I just like the sensation of my orgasm I get when I do poppers. Keep in mind at my age my sex life is 99% me and my right hand

  87. Bongguy

    Just thought I would chime in on this topic. I won’t do guys that are into hard drugs, meth, coke, heroin, ect. I’m a pothead in a perfectly legal way and I do look for partners that are too, we just have more in common. I would be with a sober guy if he was really into me and I was into him. I still drink when I party and don’t care if I get judged for who I am. But, I will never do the kind of drugs that wrecked so many of my friends. I am still a proud gay man but poppers and tina are too far.

  88. scott

    To answer a the common question… Why would someone even start doing drugs. I can give you some insight… My reasons. I had just gotten out of the USMC where I spent my the past 4 years growing up! I moved to phoenix az. I knew no one at all! I had never had sex with a guy but I knew I was gay… I saw ads in new times for gay hookup sites and started meeting men some of them were just tricks and some of them turned into lasting friendships. Then I met this guy he asked me to go to a club he was so hot! He got me to try ecstacy and later that night we fucked it was so intense! I loved that night! He next introduced me to all of his friends and I was so happy to see that all of his friends were also so hot! They excepted me into the group and that’s where I found more drugs,sex parties, barebacking, lust! They all loved me! They all wanted to fuck! I was having a good time. I hung out with these guys for 3 years all the while I still had a job and went to school.

    It all changed when I started to see flaws in the group it spluttered into clicks some just did coke others just took pills and I found myself with the guys who did meth.

    Fast forward 10 years I have HIV I have quit meth for years at a time only to start again cause I think it makes sex better. My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years and both feel the same way. We don’t let meth run us…. We only do it in our own house, we don’t do it daily, if we play with a 3rd we tell them were both poz but undetectable we only bareback and we smoke meth.

    Do I regret my choices I made in life? Some yeah! But I graduated from ASU, I have the best guy in the world at my side, I have worked for the same company for 10 years. I ain’t hurting anyone or bothering them. I know there are lots of guys like me out there! No all gays who do drugs are horrible.

  89. G.Blank

    I think this is a “human” phenomenon. I believe that it is also an issue in heterosexual encounters as well. Some people just have an inclination to drugs and alcohol.

  90. Kevin

    One of the primary purposes of mind-altering drugs is to lower inhibitions in order to overcome little awkwardnesses and discomforts so people can socialize and have sex. This has been true since we first discovered alcohol. Sure, some religions use drugs for other reasons (or do they?) and some people use drugs to change perspectives, or to change their mood. But really, one of the primary reasons has always been to overcome social obstacles in order to have sex.
    The reason gay men do it more than heterosexuals, obviously, is because they don’t have children.

  91. Scifi32

    Wow. I never really thought about this and maybe it’s because I don’t run into this problem and it’s not just a gay thing. It’s a human thing. A druggie is a druggie gay or straight. Honestly where are you guys finding these ppl? Maybe you should look elsewhere if you keep running into the same problems. I’m just saying

  92. buffbisex

    I do poppers. I don’t do them as drugs but to facilitate anal and sometimes oral sex. I have a tight hole even when I work it out. Unless the guy is young or otherwise rock hard, he is going to have some trouble getting it in. If he is at all floppy, it ain’t happening without poppers. Poppers make that work perfectly because of the muscle relaxation properties (this helps with deep throat as well). So the fact is, in my experience, without them, many guys are not even going to get in. So, depending on whether the guy is the rock hard type or a little floppy, I will work out my ass before stopping by, but I ALWAYS do poppers. I have only done it without poppers twice (I forgot to bring them), and it was a hard time for the top, at least initially, and it only worked because they were rock hard otherwise.

    I am a big non-druggie and never took poppers when they were offered thinking it was something stupid they were doing, but I also didn’t like dick in my ass. It hurt and I couldn’t get into it. I didn’t see what people got out of it, and that was mostly because the pain prevented me form relaxing and focusing on the other sensations. When I tried poppers one time, I had a good experience and orgasm. Using them to experiment with anal stimulation, I finally saw the light! I was a bottom from then on. Pain was the problem and poppers got rid of that problem, and I was able to learn to enjoy anal, so now I can do it without poppers, though I almost never do. Still, it is more of an enhancement to make it easier for the top to mount me.

    Even so, if the guy is especially big, I may still need poppers to take the cock easily even after initial penetration. And the fucking has to be well controlled even then if they are over 9 inches. Poppers don’t take all the pain away. Recently, I tried ethyl chloride (also known as chloroethane) and it makes even 10 inches smooth as glass! All the pain goes away temporarily and you can be fucked real hard. I wouldn’t use it all the time as it is fun to feel it all as well, but the big dicked tops love being able to swing for the fences with their fat bats. 🙂

    Again, I don’t do it to “get high” and always try to stay in control, though EC is stronger than poppers. I still don’t think of them as drugs per se because the effect is so short-lived, a few minutes tops and it has to be reapplied if the effect is desired. By then I am usually enjoying the ride!

    As for the guy who said studies show that nitrates are associated with dementia, there is no evidence of any harm like that coming from poppers. The danger with poppers, as with any drug, is the lack of judgment. I always play safe, but these drugs do lower inhibitions and may be a factor in risky sex. Here is a link to the wiki article on poppers. If there is a link to the studies on poppers being associated with dementia, please supply them.

  93. NslashA

    I dont think this is as simple of an issue as the lot of you are trying to make it. There as many simple and complex reasons that people use drugs as there are people, and many dont just have a simple or complex reason, but rather a myriad of reasons from both sides that causes them to use.

    Some may desire sex after they’ve used, some may desire to use before having sex. Some others may not want sex at all after using. Some may be weekend warriors, able to keep their use in check during the week. Some may be vacation users, only indulging on trips out of their normal area, and others are addicts. Some people find and like one buzz and have no desire to try anything else, some may like the buzz of one and say, if I liked this one, I wonder what others may be like? Some may do anything and everything put in front of them.

    I think the real issue should be the amount of people put into our for profit prison system with non-violent drug offenses that have their lives ruined, and the lack of public assistance for these people who are addicts and wish to get sober. I have never understood why drug rehabs cost tens of thousands of dollars, when drug addicts are the LEAST likely to have any money to pay for these services. I would like to see the US move to a system more like the Netherlands, where it’s decriminalized and there are government sponsored rehab programs that are free of charge if you want to get sober. Right now the best the US has to offer is NA and I cant imagine that an atheist would really do well in that program when the second and third steps are: “come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” and “make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of god as we understood him”. Kinda hard if you dont believe in any god.

  94. D

    I personally don’t understand people who mix drugs with sex. I’ve tried practically every drug under the sun and I understand why anyone can do any of them for fun, but of all of the drugs I’ve tried, there were only two (MDMA and LSD) that made me want to have sex, and neither of them are popular among the community who likes to mix drugs and sex together (One of which also hinders my ability to maintain an erection, albeit I’m more of a bottom). Which, is another thing I don’t really understand: most drugs tend to make it hard for me to obtain and/or maintain an erection and/or reach orgasm. Not that it’s impossible if I really force myself, but if I have to force an erection or orgasm then it isn’t really enjoyable at that point. So I don’t see how men can do that. I’d really like to know though, because I tend to enjoy most drugs and I enjoy sex, and I would love to understand how to enjoy both together.

  95. Anthony

    I wonder what our forbearers, those that lived through the 60s Revolution would say? It seems that most of the conversation is based on the assumption that this “pervasive” drug phenomena is something new. Reality Check: People have been seeking out highs since the beginning.

    What is new is the social media which makes it seem “pervasive”.

    I say get off your asses and meet people in the real world.


  96. YoMama

    I have never read a string of more sanctimonious BS than I have in this thread, with the exception of Scott and possibly a few more.

    Almost no one who has commented here has any idea of what using drugs is like. They are all like, “Oh, I don’t like people like that.” Poppers ugh! 420 Ugh! Tina, Oh God! Escaping from reality! Losers! Not able to cope with the beauty of sex as I see it! They need to lower their inhibitions to take a big dick. What a pile of crap from a bunch of ignorant people.

    Taking drugs is a dangerous thing, especially if you inject them, but it can be an incredibly intense high. Using anything to excess has its downsides, and using a narcotic like meth has lots of downsides, but when it’s good it’s so fine. Most people who have commented here have no idea what they are talking about besides what they learned in Sunday school or someplace else that will earn them a “Good Boy” badge.

    420 is a good all around drug. Gets some people horny, most people intensely aware of physical contact, others sleepy, and most people hungry after a while. Meth (Tina) is a primo sex drug for bottoms. Gets them in the mood to be fucked like a cheap whore. For tops, it’s not so good since it’s a narcotic that restricts the blood flow and prevents getting an erection to the disappointment of their bottom partner. But when you have a Tina orgasm it’s like sky rockets!

    I know all of you just came from Sunday services and feel the need to preach, but just give it a rest. We all know you are God’s gift to the world and choir boys to boot, but preaching is not your thing, since we’ve seen most of you on your knees at the bookstore.

  97. Jayson

    Poppers are NOT a drug! Seriously people, (not all of you) where do you get your information or are you assuming then judging without the facts. Poppers aren’t healthy for you at all and have been known to cause lung and memory issues along with other numerous long term side affects, but they’re not a drug.

  98. mark patterson


  99. Michael

    Commonality — something to bring them together. I have gone to parties where guys do meth and have yet to find someone at a meth party discuss HIV status prior to engaging in risky behavior. Positive guys are often dropped from a chat on-line once they reveal their status as if HIV were contractable via the internet. If you go hook up & do meth, from my experience no one ever asks what your status is. If you are positive and don’t put anyone at risk by what you do at the party then all is good. If you mention you are positive it’s like an elephant entered the room and the party is over. Watch how many positive guys infect or co-infect others and it may make you sick. No wonder once a positive guy does drugs and has complications from the drugs no one wants anything to do with him. Having HIV is difficult enough, adding drug addiction or use to the HIV is guaranteed to makes things worse no matter where you go.

  100. Randy

    Truth is: Sex is WAY BETTER on drugs. The majority of you won’t do it, and that’s ok. Some of you will get the meaning of this post, and that’s great.

    If you’ve not, you simply don’t understand the experience.

    PS: I’m HIV neg, a “recreational” drug user. In that… just like everything else in life.. there are users and “abusers”. I’m in my mid 40’s, “party” on occasion. I’m careful and conscious of what I do.

  101. Enternme

    Born 1944- Gay all my life. Bottom all the way. NEVER needed a drug to have sex with any man no matter what size they were in the meat department. If a person came at me and they were high,, that was the end of their search after me. I can count the number of men I have went with in my lifetime on one and a half hand of fingers. I, never saw the need to have drugs of any sort, and alcohol is a drug !, during sex. I want to enjoy it to the fullest. Two of my lovers was very large in size, I teased them with my ass and they trying to get it in. They could go all night without drug enhancements, cause we took our time and enjoyed each other. I have 3 friends with benefits, 50,39 and 34,they each know about each other. None have or can use drugs due to their jobs anyhow. I find the experience satisfying A little spit and it will fit ,,,lol. lol.

  102. Control

    Drugs to be free from government as listed above is a farce. The reason the government is looking the other way while pot is being legalized, is it’s just another easy way to control people. Enough pot and alcohol, and your stupor makes you complacent. If you’ve never read 1984 for example, perhaps you should.

    Gay folk do what feels good primarily. It is what it is. If an individual wants to fuck up their life that way, fine go ahead. More for the rest of us, who prefer to think clearly.

  103. Jimmy

    I have never done any street/illegal drugs, let alone to have sex, and I would never consider being with, long-term or short-term, someone who does. gross.

  104. NotForThatTina

    I know plenty of tina and meth smokers. I think its gross and I do tell them all the time. That stuff sticks and some of my friends who use meth participate in raw or bareback group sex. Out of 6 friends who do the drug and has the sex romps; 3 0f them are now positive. I was told so much about this whole meth thing for me to feel bad for the ones trapped under this addiction and making themselves become diseased so easily. There’s no way I’m getting gang banged by 5 guys in one night and its all raw. Its risky and dangerous but we’ll never understand what some of the users and abusers are feeling.

  105. PNPBlkPigPowerBtm

    If someone manages their habit, and doesn’t let the habit manage them, then safely/discreetly doing drugs and having sex is an awesome, enjoyable thing. PLENTY of people at least do drugs, enough that many who express opposition here would be shocked to know who in their lives do drugs that they’re not aware of (family, neighbors, relatives, partners, coworkers…even cops, clergy, teachers, drs & nurses). If people work hard, earn their way, love & care for family, and treat people decently, then who’s to judge them if they like to unwind however often, partake, and enjoy the company of another like-minded person. If all parties consent, are adults of sound mind, and no one’s being forced against their will, then why not party up, get wasted, do some piggy/kinky things and cross some stuff off your bucket list. That said, I’m off work next week & house sitting for a divorced straight bud (a Dr., btw) who likes to do recreational party favors, chill, watch tv, talk & BS on out laptops. We’re gonna get wasted with another straight married Dr. buddy of his, prolly pass out late night. After they leave & my bud’s travelling, I’m taking off work do watch porn incessantly all over his house, get/stay naked & wasted as hell, and connect with guys that want to come over to party & freak/fuck me senseless. I can’t wait to suck hard dicks, tonguefuck hairy man-asses, kiss men passionately, and lick hairy nipples and sweaty funky armpits while they jackhammer cocksnot up my hot hungry faggot fuckpussy – hopefully with porn turned up loud, curtains open & lights on so mailman, neighbors, whoever the fuck can see. Jesus fuck I love drugs, porn, cock, cum, sex, exhibitionism…and confessing it to therapists, physicians, and priests!

  106. ThinkNice-Thinktwice

    It feels bad passing judgement. We fragment into so many rights and wrongs that we end up kind of, well, alone.
    We can try a little more love. Anyone remember where we put it? 🙂

  107. Tom Hunter

    I first tried poppers only months ago, not into anything else except alcohol and maybe I’ll bum a smoke (tobacco only) if really drunk. I wish I had not been so averse to them for so long, it makes bottoming a lot easier.

    As for anything else, I am just not interested and will not date or have sex with anyone who is on them.

  108. AlphaForm

    Though this whole thread is months without a response I figure I’ll still give my thoughts on it…for me, I really don’t have too many (actually, any) gay experiences while anything less than completely wasted. Why? It’s about the whole nervousness with “oh my god, I’m doing something gay”. It takes getting rid of being nervous to do anything; if I were more secure with my sexuality there would be no problems.

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