Gay Stuff : Can 2 Bottoms Have A Successful Relationship?


(Photo credit : MEN)

You just met this guy who has the total package for you. He is handsome, genuine, athletic, he likes animals, sports, great food, has a sense of humor… After your first dinner date, he comes to your place for “desserts”. The clothes come off and then you wait for him to take control of the situation, but he doesn’t. He is bottom too! Despite his muscles, beard and manly look, he is a total bottom.

Can two men of the same position date? For many guys out there, unless your man is giving you what you need, a relation won’t last very long. Love is fine but it also has to translate in the bedroom. When I meet someone who is the opposite position as mine, It is a big relief. I won’t need to compromise comfort because we’re both going to fulfill our sexual needs.

Of course two bottom can have fun without penetration, with a double end dildo like in the image above from MEN, but at the end a bottom that never gets penetrated by a “real” cock might suffer in the relationship. Also, bottoms possess a need to please. Sometimes they get more pleasure from pleasing than being pleased, so it might take away from the experience when the other guy is in the same mindset.

What is your opinion about it?

Have you ever dated a guy that was in the same position as you?



There are 61 comments

Add yours
  1. Hunter0500

    Have several buds who are of “the same position” as me. There’s more than enough ways to have fun on the workbench. Why get hung up on just one? If you’re going to discount guys because they’re not an All American 100% A Number 1 PERFECT Match means you’ll end up old, alone, cynical, and unhappy … of your own doing.

  2. Eric

    I totally agree with this observation. I am versatile Bi male that loves to please. I am more obsessed with pleasing my partner than me…it feels great to have him or her cum once or may twice if I am lucky and not have cum at all. However if I go too long without being the bottom I start to loose interest…I need to feel that cock pop past my anal muscle and feel him ejaculate in my ass and feel his cock pulsate as he shots. I say this as I am in the middle of one of those valleys…I need to find me someone that can do the job several times. LOL once I am opened I want it alot….LOL

  3. Bottoms Up!

    Of course two bottoms can have a relationship. More work in providing satisfaction…and if the relationship is open…then each can get their own. I do believe open relationships should be open and honest verbally, too.

  4. Stoney

    As a totally versatile man with no preference for either but requiring both…..I don’t think I would be happy with anyone who is all one thing or the other……I want a full well rounded experience…..and preferably from the same man…

    That being said I love a tight submissive bottom when I’m in my dominant mood…..and I love an ass slaying dick when I want t o whimper and be submissive……Perfection is finding one man to give me all that……

    So to answer your question…….to avoid the chance of ever dating someone who is all one or the other…..I will ask at some point in our conversation if it begins to lean toward an attraction by either of us…..That usually prevents any later awkward moments when the dicks and asses cum out to play 🙂

  5. HotAss4UrCock

    I totally agree on the aspect that a total bottom feels a great need to please and has ‘different’ needs than a top or even versatile man does.

    Although I have always avoided other bottoms, I HAVE been in a few relationships with versatile men. The constant need for men who flip or bottom to ‘get me off’, has always been a major problem for me. I cannot take oral to completion and am rarely even hard during sex. Finding a total top who loves to please my skin, ass, and feet, and who is only interested in what I want sexually, is not easy to find.

    My point is, I believe that only men who are both versatile and don’t lean one way or the other, can have a successful relationship in the bedroom as well as out of it.

    • Bobby

      Hi there.I’m Bobby..I’m mostly a top but with the right person. It wouldn’t matter.I would definitely make sure you were well taken care of .I aim to please and that causes me to have huge orgasams seeing my partner enjoying himself…

  6. JC

    Answer to the initial question: Yes!

    No, it’s not ideal but if they really connect on every level except sexual position, and they are both committed to the relationship, it doesn’t matter.

    It takes some maturity to adopt that philosophy. 20 and even 30somethings might not do so as easily as guys in their 40s and up. Adults with mature minds, who do not put sex–however that is defined–at the top of their must-have lists are more likely to adapt. Many find that building a good life with a partner who has a lot more in common than just sex is more important.

    Two tops might have a little more difficulty adapting than two bottoms unless one or the other or both switch out once in awhile.

    But two bottoms can do so much more to adapt. The image above is one example. So is the use of a single-headed dildo or a strap-on by one into the other. If one or both can maintain an erection while inserting, and is willing to, issue resolved! Lastly, the rest of the sexual smorgasbord is open to almost any couple including two bottoms.

    In the end, one can hope that love wins out. That couples find enough common ground to thrive. YMMV.

  7. #ImFirst

    I think two bottoms can work. In fact most gay guys are bottom or will bottom. The younger generation of gay guys are ALL bottom so sooner or later if dudes want to get into a relationship its gonna be with another bottom anyway.

  8. blog

    For me, as a total bottom I cannot date bottom or versatile guys. 100% tops have something that I really like, a control, an attitude, they love ass and they want me to love their cock. I dated versatile guys and I was never fully happy. I would NEVER date a bottom, ever. Just the fact that he likes to get fucked turns me off, I don’t know why. On sex apps, I’ve been “yelled” at by this vers dude, who was telling me “why the fuck are you ONLY bottom, you are missing lots of nice things etc” But for me, fucking a man would not work with my mentality and psychology. I probably couldn’t even get hard.

  9. Drewscy

    I’m not a big fan of how you phrased this in the first paragraph. Why does a guy have to be muscular and or athletic too be a good bf? You are limiting yourself if that is all you look for in a man.

  10. seth

    If you can say that 2 bottoms can have a successful relationship without bringing people into the bedroom, than the answer is no. Its like having two top dating each other, the relationship will not last if they don’t bring other people to their bedroom. Just to let you know, open relationships don’t work out either. So no 2 people of the same sexual preferencs/positions will not have a successful relationship. Oh and one last thing, this is me but I prefer a real man over a dildo 150% of the time.. Dildos do nothing for me and the pic above does nothing either.

  11. Luca

    I agree with blog. Bottom and top are the best combo for me and found the chemistry is best with top and bottom relationships.. I find that even verse with verse is a bit messed because I figure there’s too much guess work on who’s gonna top first if at all, and those usually involve other dudes to satisfy the need for a top in the relationship. But top with top scenario is the most confusing of all!.. Really ????… With all the bottoms in the world these dudes are still winding up with another top??.. Lol. Does anyone know the meaning of INCAPABILITY!?! There are too many challenges already without adding sex position to the mix. Similiar to a relationship between a gay man and a straight women..????? NO!.. Did I hear DL!?!.. Lol

  12. muzyqman

    Of course two bottoms can have a long-lasting, sexually satisfying relationship, and it doesn’t have to be an open one at all. First, there are more ways to get off (and get your partner off) than just fucking. Second, there are plenty of gay men who prefer oral sex and don’t care about (or totally avoid) fucking. Third, there are toys of all different sizes and shapes. Finally, there are all sorts of kinks that a couple can try that might include penetration but not by their partner, and variety keeps things fresh (along with a good douche!).

  13. BEEF

    I just want to say I’m 100% TOP and I’m ALLL about pleasuring my partner. It sounds crazy to think a bottom is there to only pleasure the top. Absurd. I’m there to give the bottom as much pleasure as possible saw well!

  14. jay11970

    Two bottoms would be more friend material than relationship oriented as both desire the same thing, dick. Toys would not take the place of what a bottom desires. The majority of bottoms don’t like their dick messed with at all. I’m vers, but when I’m single I’m far more bottom verse than top. However, when in love I prefer verse guys as being in love requires satifiying all your partners desires and even some fantacies. It is rare to find a bottom who likes receiving oral, but when I do, theres nothing sexier to me. But no, two bottoms can only be friends.

  15. Al

    I’m a bottom, and some of the most fun I have had is with another bottom. At least for me, I found that we were both more willing to explore all sorts of ways to pleasure each other. Since we both weren’t very good at, or into topping, we would take turns. No expectations, kind of like when we were kids and wanted to try something new.

  16. tommyyboy12

    I think the bigger issue would be with two total tops 0.0 don’t you think? 😉 I used to be a total top and would be completely turned off by the thought of having something up my ass… of course , luckily, I found a guy that changed that for me… but I can’t imagine having a good sexual relationship with another total top when I was one myself…

  17. Leatherpapi

    In the end two bottoms will reach out to a Top to meet their needs. I’m a older Power Top and thank God for bottoms, I believe that two mature men can make and every once in awhile they will call guys like me to cum over and fuck there holes like I own them, and once the grass settles then they can get back to there own thing

  18. James

    Not likely because if they are 2 guys in love and committed then one of them has to be the dominant rough top guy and the other bottom, or they can be versatile, but someone has to put his weiner in the other guys ass and mouth during sex.

  19. coolbear

    gay couple here and fun loving.
    we are both bottoms.
    both enjoy kissing and cuddling.
    we’ve been together 14 years, married, in our 6th year.
    ( in Canada)
    we’ve tried and done a few different things, and it’s all good.
    like all marriages, it takes work, and communication.
    it’s been fun and the time together has just flown by.

  20. Schlongmilker

    With the right dido, I believe it can happen.
    Not in my case though :-/
    Can’t stand queeny guys (all the respect to you guys) but not my thing

  21. Aaron

    I think that two bottoms can date, it would require both people to come out of their comfort zones and just like in any relationship sometimes you have yo give a little or compromise some. A tougher question would be could two total tops date. Another thing is what is with all these “open” relationships. If your partner isn’t fulfilling your sexual needs maybe you shouldnt be together or focus on trying to work through whatever it is.

  22. Kuruption

    Interesting. The responses I have read for the most part perpetuate a particular stereotype of tops and bottoms (as well as versatile dudes).

    I find it problematic that the OP makes a comment that bottoms “possess a need to please”. This indirectly states the top does not when in my opinion, he should as well. Then again, I guess this would explain why there are so many really bad tops out there.

    But anyway…

    The question is “can two bottoms have a successful relationship”. My answer to this takes into consideration my mantra on relationships: Those who are in the relationship define the nature of their relationship. No one else.

    So if two bottoms decide to have a playboy top, my answer is yes they can have a successful relationship. If they decide to love each other but keep things open, then yes they can have a successful relationship. If they use toys, fingers, or the fence post outside then yes, they can have a successful relationship. So long as they are comfortable with each other and care for each other, then yes they can have a successful relationship.

  23. Chip

    LOL – great topic!
    When I was in my 20’s I was a pure top! Nearly, no virtually NEVER, a bottom! Then I met Cory.

    We dated the old fashioned way — dinner BEFORE sex (not after!). Imagine our mutual surprise when the topic came to sex and we each identified ourselves as “total top”.

    In the end, we decided to flip/flop (my first time flipping!), and we would wrestle to see who topped first! After about 3 months, we dropped the pretense of the wrestling, and just fucked…

    While Cory isn’t my favorite “ex”, he and I were the most sexually compatible. We each taught each other the joys of uninhibited sex (the bottoming thing was only the first of MANY new things we tried with each other!)

    Today, I remain mostly versatile… and in not such a small way, I owe that to Cory!

  24. Steve

    Yes and fuck yes!

    I’d love to label myself vers (and I can top) but I’m really a bottom slut. I have had great times with other bottoms! And like Matt says up there, “Top and bottom is not just defined by who is the ‘insertive’ and receptive partner.”

    There’s a lot of profiling going on here.

    I guess I’m a “power” bottom (while we’re handing out labels) so maybe I’m a little more assertive. That can easily be shared with another bottom no matter how passive or aggressive they are. The point is, if you find someone to play with and there is a mutual attraction, why let role or preference define the success of the party?

  25. Kyle

    my bf keeps saying he’s verse but I can totally tell he wants me to dominate him, sadly despite being a top/verse I’m not really the dominant-top type so I can kinda relate to this situation :s

  26. tops.ofview (MascFemME)ft t

    If you and your partner are the opposite, or identical positions, then your sexual relationship will be fine no need to worry about as long as your line of communication is open. Both bottoms? Find a top who you can use when the silcone ain’t cuttin’ it. Both tops? Find a bottom who has an ass that can handle both of you at the same time. Both vers? You shouldnt have problem! I believe the relationships that have the most issues, are those that are mixed, vers and bottom; versio
    n and top

  27. Mark

    I am a submissive bottom. I crave a man who Dominates me and I do everything possible (within my limits) to please my partners. I often don’t even care if I cum but I usually do when my top starts to cum. For me, I couldn’t have a long term relationship with another bottom. I have topped occasionally and it feels great in the moment but psychologically and emotionally I don’t want to be there.

  28. Sebastian

    This got me excited! Enough to post! Lol. I love to see how there are many different points of views out there. I wish i can “like” some of these comments. Anyway, i do NOT think two bottoms can make it work. There is a MAJOR difference between a real cock and a dildo. Ive had dildos and ive had cock, im a major bottom, ive tried topping and inclusive becoming vers many many too many times and it just diesnt work for me. If it is a real relationship then it wouldnt be “open”. Ive tried having sex w another bottom and we are just too alike. We both have an overwhelming desire to pleasure. I got excited cuz i though i was the only one who felt this way. But no two bottoms dont make a right, same as two tops. There has to be a balance.

  29. outdoorman

    I know I am a bottom and to me it’s way more important to please my partner than it is myself. However, I have a couple of friends that are a couple and they are both bottoms and they seem to handle it just fine and seem to be very happy. So, I guess there are ways to make it work.

  30. Mitch

    Not often. I know a couple that both are total bottoms. The love each other and basically I’m the top got them. I come over 1-2 a week a fuck both of them.

  31. dan

    To say two bottoms or two tops cannot have a successful(sexual)relationship is basically the argument some people use against same-sex relations in general; that only two opposites(penis and vagina) can work in the bedroom because someone needs to get fucked. Its a pretty close minded way of thinking.

  32. Zack

    This question strikes me as ignorant as “can two women be in a relationship”. Of course they can- if they love each other it will work.

  33. DMSC

    Very good topic..I have debated this many times myself. For me personally…it depends on the guy. I find that when I am thinking about sex with a guy…his demeanor, and the way he carries himself, has a lot to do with weather I would top, or bottom. I tend to lean towards bottom ( I like the “bad boys”), but there are a lot of times that I have seen a guy that I would LOVE to bend-over! I have been with a guy that I was very attracted to, who was only bottom. I found that role-playing some fantasies I had helped, but I often found it hard to stay erect during sex. It usually ends with me rimming him, while he jacks-off, until he cums. Most of the time…I don’t get to cum. Strangely enough…I don’t see him as a top. I just enjoy getting him off. For the most part, I prefer a mutual understanding. If I am expecting to be dominated, we get a room, and a purse falls out…complete turn-off! Best to talk about it up-front! Very difficult subject for me. Thanks to everyone for their in-put to read!

  34. goldenloverinmym

    I speak for myself and my fuck buddy “E” we r both versa and the sex has never been better ever b4 with anyone.the first few times we played I was the top then one eve during break while talking I asked him to top me he had his kit n showed me how to douch out so I did and the sex was great since then when we meet we can feel the vibe whos going to take lead position most time before either comes we flip.i’ll be 60 soon he just turned 49.he’s the best man to ever be with.have been with others b4 n since him but he and I always find each others company and sex more fulfilling.we have used toys on each other but they don’t heat things up enough for either of us 2 cum without penetration or orali always was a top b4 he was a bottom now we are both versa the most intense orgasms r when i’m topping him cuz he knows i’m gonna eat the cream pie when done n sno ball him then I suck him off and we kiss it like electicity is going through both of us then we drop exhausted. he stayed over the other nite I had to get up n go to work in the morn I let him sleep in n left a love note.but it was difficult getting up n seeing him sleeping his smooth brown skin breath slo n steady I kissed his but cheek n went to work with a silly grin all day i’m sure thinking about him. my coworkers prob wondered what was up with me lol

  35. Axel

    I’m surprised by what some of you have allowed yourselves to think about a person who labels himself as a bottom. First of all bottoms are not handicap or better yet, incapable of getting an errection and fuckin*. And it makes me sick to my stomach to think that these so called, ‘tops’ are running around believing that his role as a top is to dominate and put asses under submission. Bottoms enjoy being fucke* by a cock and most of us prefer cumming while a stiff dick is inside us. That defines us bottoms. Bottoms are not sissies who can’t stand the sight of a hole or a punk who pukes at the sight of anything brown on the sheets. Bottoms define man on man sex. So, if two of us bottoms are in a relationship together, no outside dick will be needed as bottoms are able to fuc* themselves. Don’t worry yourselves, we got this under control and we aren’t missing anything that’s not already in the room, we’ll make do with what we’ve got. Some of us bottoms form relationships with other bottoms intentionally to exclude, ‘tops’, especially lazy, ‘tops’ from the bedroom. Just because you can’t take dick doesn’t automatically make you a ‘top’.

  36. stan

    yes two bottoms can have great sex i think vers guy know how to please because they know how it feels both ways in the bed room

  37. Chuck

    Yes it can work, as well as an open honest relationship can work, my husband and I are both bottoms, we just celebrated our 5th anniversary last week. We are also in an open relationship, with honesty, it works for us.

  38. Frankie_wills

    Yes! On the other hand, it’s jarring to think it could last in the very beginning when a relationship is very new. A new relationship is all about or most entail sexual exploration and getting those needs met from your partner. I’d say if the two were mature as in having a strong bond in foundation as friend, then the attraction should transcend beyond sexual gratification. It can last yet it would take a lot of work to keep both men interested! The flesh is weak and it would take more than love to conquer to temptation, but it’s possible! I’d say, be open to those possibilities.

  39. Tim

    I have two buddies that aren’t in to anal at all. We have amazing times in the sack. One is a thuggish bi guy who picked me up at the gym. He sucks my dick like a man possessed. The other is a hot gay professional man who’s favorite things are nips, pits, and 69.

    Some of the posts are hysterical. Two bottoms using a strap on? Are they lesbians? Since when do bottoms not have functioning dicks?

    For the record, I’m a top that enjoys giving my partner pleasure. I’ve been fucked, and am turned on by the concept but not really that excited about the actual act.

  40. NSAGUY

    As a top, I love fucking bottom couples. There are many couples where both guys are bottoms and I like scratching their itch. It is so hot and very sweet to see them take pleasure in watching the other get fucked and holding hands/kissing while I’m plowing one of them.

    ALL relationships take communication, trust, and openness.

  41. JC

    Answering Tim, above: “Since when do bottoms not have functioning dicks?”

    Some men, and usually they are bottoms, are totally turned off by sticking their cocks in “there.” They are likely to not get or keep a hard-on when trying to top.

    For a tongue-in-cheek approach (oh no—no pun intended!) YouTube about this “phenomenon,” search for “This Boy Is A Bottom on the YouTube site or follow this link:

  42. John

    I think the post/question contains a lot of assumptions and unnecessary restrictions. 1) monogamy… Children, I know we’ve all been raised straight parents and Hollywood, but you HAVE TO KNOW that gay men don’t need to be monogamous. As a matter of fact, trying to be monogamous usually leads to jealousy, breakups and unhappiness. 2) is everyone either a total bottom or a total top? I’ve met thousands of guys and the majority of them are vers, with a lean towards top or btm depending on many factors, such as their mood, who they have in front of them, where in their life’s journey they are, etc. Finding a good sex match is tricky, finding a good relationship match is much more difficult, so let’s be flexible and open to try all kinds of things without putting too many limitations.

  43. Kyle

    Yes. A healthy relationship is more about selflessness and trying to please the partner more than yourself. Through making sure he is taken care of you will find your own excitement. It may mean toys and lots of them or the occasional dick in the ass.

  44. Joe

    Wow, some of you guys need to listen to yourselves. Are you really looking for a relationship, or an easy sex partner? It wasn’t that long ago that people we’re asking “how can two men have a loving relationship? They both have penises!” Enjoy sex but don’t let it define who you are.

  45. Jay

    “Despite his muscles, beard and manly look, he is a total bottom.”

    Uh, Dave, I don’t know what men you’ve been with, but in my experience, the more butch they try to look, the more likely they’re bottoms. Oh, they’ll say they’re “power bottoms” in order to maintain their pseudo-masculinity, but they’re bottoms nonetheless, and as soon as you slide your cock in, they squeal like girls.

  46. Scorpio7

    I’m a total top who loves to dominate masculine, butch men. I’m not satisfied until my partner cums though. As far as meeting other tops, that makes for great sex: making a dominant man submit. Moaning and whining makes me harder! Don’t worry, when they say stop, I stop.

  47. ebross

    I can’t say it’s true for all bottoms, but I personally have an overwhelming need to please (in and outside of the bedroom). I always put other’s first and care more about their pleasure and comfort than my own. I’ve tried topping a few times, a spur of the moment thing, and let me just say I didn’t enjoy it at all. I don’t even enjoy receiving blowjobs. I’m not sure why, but my body just doesn’t respond to it. It could be a physical or psychological thing.

    That being said, there are other things that pleasure me in bed other than being fucked (although its still high on the list). For instance I love handjobs, but most of the tops I’ve been with seem to ignore the fact that I have a dick. They just get off and then turn over and go to sleep.

    I had to take to jerking myself off, but I have been lucky enough to find a few tops who actually seemed to care about pleasing me as well. I don’t want to think that (most)tops are selfish but its hard not to after my experiences and conversations with other bottoms.

    So could two bottoms have a successful relationship? Well again, I can’t speak for other people, but I know it wouldn’t work for me. Things like foreplay, handjobs, dildos, fetishes etc. That stuff is all great, and its a good way to add some variety and excitement in bed. But at the end of the day I want to be pounded by a dominant top.

    Sure relationships are not all about sex and shouldn’t be built on that, but a lot of them have failed due to a lack of satisfaction in bed. Sex and Love go hand in hand. Having one without the other makes for an unbalanced relationship.

  48. Andrew

    In all honesty, I feel that this kind of talk is part of the problem with the gay community. We restrict ourselves, sexually, to a certain role, and refuse to budge from that role. I normally bottom, but one time, I found myself in a position to top a guy, and I just went for it, and rather enjoyed it. Let’s be honest, if the most important thing in your relationship is that one must be a top and the other must be a bottom, then your relationship is doomed. Don’t build your entire relationship on your sexual role. Whilst it is important, you will find that many versatile guys started out, most commonly, as pure top or bottom, but when they have a go at the other role, they find that they enjoy that too.
    I feel that it is far too shallow to use these labels of top and bottom to restrict what a guy can do in the bedroom. The fact that we are having this thread shows how shallow the gay community is when it comes to sex. If two people are attracted to each other, and they genuinely like each other, maybe even love, then sexual role will be something that the couple will be able to resolve themselves, with one of them maybe even having a go at the other role, then trading places.
    The gay community needs to stop using top/bottom to define their entire relationship. Bottom-Bottom relationships and Top-Top relationships don’t work, not because of the individuals sexual role, but because of the preconceived idea that one must be top, and the other must be bottom. If we can get id of this stupid stereotype, then more gay people will be able to have more meaningful relationships, because they won’t be basing their entire relationship on their sexual role.

  49. bbfunboi

    I’m a bb btm as is my bf. We get off on hosting bb parties and being cum dumpsters for the evening. Sometimes we even compete to see who can take ore cock or more loads. We have tried fucking each other but it isn’t usually as hot as when we’re both on our knees or backs together.

  50. SilverFoxCMH

    I’m all bottom, love sucking cock and getting fucked, kissing, cuddling, explore my buddy’s body with my mouth tongue and touch. Then get rimmed and fucked, fucked hard, pounded. It would be nice if my top would recip some of the foreplay. With that said, when I’ve played with other bottoms, once I start servicing them, the recip stops, and I end up doing all the work, which I enjoy, but would truly like some recip of the action also.

  51. brandonman39

    yes i had a short but satisfying relationship with a guy for about 3 months and we were both bottoms.i was dominate bottom but we still enjoyed each other a lot.

  52. MisterFistr

    Heard from a 23 year old local twinkie yesterday: “Tops are getting very scarce these days. Bottoms are taking over the gay world!” Methinks he’s right, and that drug use has a LOT to do with it.

  53. Ralfael

    Drugs do help I must agree.
    Without Viagra, my partner and I are a couple of bottoms.
    That does not slow us down from enjoying each other. With that little blue pill we are allowed to experience the joys of taking turns. Who tops and who nots.
    To me it’s all about equality.
    Everyone gets a turn….
    Everyone’s happy.

Post a new comment

Like us to stay in touch with latests posts!