Speak Out : Are You Out?
I’ve been out since I’m 18! Not by choice though…I’m sure some of you guys struggled too or are still worried about what others will say or think about their sexual orientation.
I was raised in a very religious baptist family, my dad was a preacher…It was clear for us that we had to be the perfect kids. No sex before wedding, no drugs, no alcool so don’t even think about being gay. My aunt, my mother’s sister, is lesbian. I was always “her favorite”. She was covering me with gifts for my birthdays, Valentine’s day, Easter and Christmas. My brother and sister were always a bit pissed they were not getting anything… It was her way to tell me “you are not alone and you are loved”!
When I turned 17, I moved in a big city to “study”. It was actually to start living my life as a gay man. I started going out, made gay friends, had sex…it was a new life for me. At home, nobody knew I was gay, except my aunt. So telling people I was gay was like deliverance. One day I received a call from this lady, from church, that I’ve known since I’m a kid. She saw me growing up at church and was friend with my parents. She told me that her daughter saw me in a gay club and she wanted to know if I was gay or if I was just there with other people. She reminded me that “god doesn’t like homosexuality and I could go to hell for being gay”. I admitted to her that I was gay. She then gave me 2 options, to tell my parents, or else she would do it. I was mad at her, I was not ready to tell my parents yet.
One week later, I received a call from my mom, she was crying her heart out. My parents came visit me and cried for hours, trying to convince me that it was wrong. They even paid a full year of psychologist to “change” me…. I was fucked up!
Now 13 years later, I am out to everyone. Being gay for me is not a big deal anymore, just a facet of my personality. But I’m sure some of you are still scared or shy to come out of the closet right?
Are you guys out? When did you do it? How was it? Are you still in the closet? Would you like to get some advices from other members? Any help?
Let me know