Speak Out : Appearance
Weeks ago I wrote an article about equality. Not just equality of America or the equality between heterosexual vs. homosexual. But the general equality that we as humans treat each other with and how we as a “community” cannot function or ask for equal rights when there are internal struggles being fought in our tiny population on how we mistreat and judge people, based solely on appearance.
One of these struggles is the complete ignorance of a chunk of our population and complete lack of support for these people because they’re different, in ways they never asked to be. I’m talking about the disabled.
While wandering the internet I came across (not literally) a gay erotica comic writer named Dale Lazarov. Now what drew me to Dale was not the hot cover illustrations, but the subject that was on the cover of Nightlife #4 which shows a sex scene between two “attractive” men, one of which is in and then later taken out of a wheelchair by his sexy hook-up. Dale is an amazingly talented writer and his erotica is brilliant, I suggest indulging in some. Dale and his artist Bastian Jonsson and Yann Duminil really made an impact on me to see this sensual and passionate hook-up between two men, one of which you typically don’t think of sexually, but why not?
From a young age I’ve grown up around people with disabilities. Ranging from unnoticeable schizophrenics, or even the very large homosexual deaf community, to people with noticeable disabilities like Cerebral Palsy or our brave wounded soldiers, and could only be kept in awe and wonder at the amazing life they have lived and will live. But then I started to talk to some of them about their experiences and about how people treat them and then eventually moved onto conversations about their sex lives.
A lot of them admitted that they didn’t have much sex because they were deemed “unattractive” or were just blatantly ignored because their disability made it too awkward for people to meet with them in public because they didn’t know how to deal with it. But then while trying to find better examples of physical freedom no matter the disability and I found Bryan.
I found Bryan on xtube, with his username Igethotguys. At the time Bryan had videos of himself having sex with men and having a great time going about it. I highly recommend going to his profile and read his amazing story of his disability and how he’s overcome being cast out by the gay community for something he was born with. But here’s an excerpt
“Hello, my name is Bryan and this is my story, I share this with you in hopes to shed some light on some of my hardships and why I have felt lost in this world and out of touch with my gay peers. I know I am not the only gay man with bouts of depression from feeling isolated by the gay community because we all know just how rude and judgmental Gay men can be but inside I know inside my heart that not all Gays are heartless and shallow, there are as many bad gay men just as there are bad straight people… or at least that’s what my straight friends tell me LOL but what do they know… they’re straight, they’ve never seen how cruel our kind can be, I really shouldn’t say “Our” because those mean people do not represent me as a Gay man but it does represent a large majority of gays. I know that gay men can be cruel, I have been affected by this. “
Could you pick up a guy in a bar that was in wheelchair? Worst of all would he let you, or would he think you were playing a sick joke?
In 2002 there was a lot of controversy surrounding the movie Pumpkin, which starred Christina Ricci as a popular “Normal” sorority girl who ended up falling in love with a disabled athlete that she was helping train for a disabled sporting event. A moving and empowering film that to this day is one of my favorites to show that love, truly can be found anywhere and is a blind force.
It showed how it was acceptable in society to treat the disabled with common courtesy and respect, but that progressing further is a social taboo that can shatter people’s perception not only about disability, but loving the disabled in ways that make people feel uncomfortable.
Why do they not deserve the same physical and emotional love that you have or crave? Are they not our brothers and sisters? Are they not members of the human race? Don’t they get horny and crave and need the touch and feel of another’s naked flesh pressed against them?
Now, I am not writing this to start an argument or controversy, but to spread awareness and empower those who are ignored or treated different.
I am writing this to let you know that people are people. We are all amazing and we are all beautiful and nothing gives anyone the right to declare or claim otherwise.
So next time you see someone at a gay bar or get a message online from someone that is different, why not just hold a conversation with them? What is the harm in getting to know someone who is “attractive” or “unattractive” based solely on the skewed standards of a society like America? For all you know they could be the man of your dreams.
Drake aka Crayak