Hot Or Not : Dominant Men


I have a thing for a man who likes to take control in bed. A guy that decides what we’re doing, if he needs me on my back, on my knees, on all four…

When I’m horny I kinda become more submissive than I am in “real life”. I like to be roughed up a bit…

Do you like dominant men as well? Why? How do you feel when you have sex with a dominant man?

Do you find it Hot or Not?


There are 88 comments

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  1. BryBry

    I just think of it as bossy… Not a real turn on for me… I like figuring it out, with a little instruction sometimes, but barking out commands is a sure fire way to get me to stepping out of the door.

  2. bryan

    i like being dominant and doing stuff like telling him what to do, choking, slapping his ass, pounding it. sometimes guys like it, but usually guys want me to not be too rough. so hmmm

  3. Carl

    I’ll agree with you. There isn’t anything better than having sex with a dominant man who gives direction on what he wants and how he wants it. I am not a submissive type of person in my day today life, but when it comes to getting naked with a man I like him to be in control, I enjoy being able to please a guy in what ever way he wants. Hot hot hot!

  4. Darryl

    When i’am with a Man i’am pretty much the dominant one. Love to take control of the situation sexually. But i’am not a selfish lover. being a Top doesn’t mean i won’t suck cock, eat ass, lick nuts. Pleasuring your partner can only work to your advantage. That means making him want to give you everything you want willingly, or by force if you have to.

  5. NoConnection

    Not gonna speak for anyone but myself, but I’m totally NOT into it.
    If this occurs as part of a hook-up, role play, or other purely lust-driven [consensual] encounter, I suppose it is what it is and all parties are likely getting what they want from the arrangement. Within a relationship context–and plenty of guys will disagree–I personally view one partner’s displays of sexual dominance as disrespectful toward the other. The old argument will always be made that the “submissive” has the real power because he is *allowing* the dominance to play out, but my take is that trying to control or manhandle someone sexually is a blatant show of disparity between participants, not to mention a rather brutal means of objectifying the other person: the “sub” is treated as a little more than a sex toy to be used and tossed around as the aggressor sees fit. Doesn’t strike me as a particularly kosher way to treat someone for whom you have a genuine affinity.

  6. David

    Sometimes dominant men are hot!!! it’s fun at times to be told what to do other times have it mutual. The roughness and the pain level of talerence all depends on each individual

  7. Sean

    I love me some dominant men. I don’t like extreme roughness, but oh yeah, i’m a boss in real life, I don’t want to come home and have to be boss there too lol. I like it rough quite a bit and the more a man wants to take charge, the more horny I get. Slap my face, pinch my nipples, demand that I do something, talk down to me, it’s fucking hot.

  8. Sextonik

    When we take drug and get high , dominant is really good … But when we really love some one , and make love with person we love ,,, that is not good . We need arts of love

  9. Vinny, 22

    I love nothing more than being held down, turned over, and smacked around by my men. If you’re not plowing me like a machine, controlling me for your every need–shoving your cock down my throat and pounding out my hole mercilessly–then you’re not dominating me. And I love being domnated.

    Taking applications btw

  10. muzyqman

    I like a man who is dominant in bed, but I don’t like a man who just tries to dominate me. They’re two different things and shouldn’t be confused. That being said, many dominant men are hot, but I don’t think they’re hot BECAUSE they’re dominant. Many dominant men are just loud, arrogant, pushy assholes and that’s not sexy at all. I am particularly amused by the young boys (they are truly not yet men!) who say they want to be “dominate,” without realizing that in this context, “dominate” is the wrong word. A “dominant” man may “dominate” me, but a “dominate” man is an oxymoron, and the people who use that word in that context are must plain morons! That’s my 2 cents for today.

  11. David

    Dominant men who know what they’re doing are great. I had a dominant top guy who knew how to take me past what I thought my limits were and showed me some of the best sex I’ve had. It takes trust though to let go of control.
    I don’t know what a dominant bottom would be like as usually they’re happy for me to take charge, and lets face it, I like being in charge. Usually I like being the top in charge and lightly holding the guys hands behind his head while I’m sucking his nipples or fucking him.

  12. SilverTwilight

    I kind of like an equal dose of dominant/submissive, and not really just one or the other. I like when a guy takes some control, but I also love when a guy just sits back and lets me work on him.

  13. looking845

    luv a hot dom guy..soooo sexy being ordered to my knees to start the evenings play sucking his cock..waiting the next order of biz

  14. Gus

    As a sub, having sex with a dominant man is the only type of sex I know of. Unlike the author of this post, I am a natural sub, and my submission permeates through my regular life. So it’s really just an extension of that…and i crave it all the time.

  15. ltn4topps

    I am a masculine man, but I love to be submissive, be rough handled, and used. controlled, dominated, even spanked and more. dream of being a part time slave for someone. the only thing, is not into pain, or marks, and many seem towant the pain aspect with it. but it is such a turn on to be submissive, and be used, and worship. first felt bad, but now I know may like me!<

  16. P.

    I think it totally depends if he’s partial to your desires and needs as well. I don’t enjoy getting pounded when I bottom, so getting roughed up is not for me. However…. If part of making you excited, turned on, and aroused is through that, then great. I just believe the best sex is when both are aware of how the other is responding and they can mesh.
    For me, extra rough guys seem to be just using your body.

  17. cj

    Every now and then it makes for great foreplay, but generally NOT. I don’t like having sex with guys who play into dom/sub bull shit types. It takes all the fun and spontaneity outta sex.

  18. Dezy

    It actually becomes a turn off for me very quickly simply because deep down I know it’s just a facade. I’m sure there are some guys out there, very few, who could pull it off. But for the most part it’s not hot. You can’t take the gay out of a gay man so easily is the best way I can think to put it.

  19. Seth

    I like a man who is assertve (takes charge), not dominating.. Theres a big difference between an assertive guy (like your descripation) vs dominating (like your pic)..

    Assertive guy takes charge of the situation, he knows what to do to turn you on and keeps you turned on. He pins you down to the bed or the wall, teases you when trying to kiss you, doesn’t give you commands for sex..

    Dominating guy is just a jerk.. Barks orders at you, thinks that you have to turn him on only, and just shoves his penis in you with no clue or idea how painful that is.. Slams you, gets rough with you, in other words the male version of a dominatrix. ITS SO NOT A TURN-ON.. EVERYTIME I BUMPED INTO THAT TYPE OF GUY I’M OUT..I don’t e en talk to him.

  20. Matt

    I find it totally HOT! Even though I consider myself versatile, I love it when a guy who is dominant takes control of the situation. This is especially the case why I have a thing for older men. They often take control and know how to make a great night of sex so worthwhile. As for when I top, I like to take control of the situation and make sure the bottom knows the rules! Or he can leave.

  21. Nsblktop

    Fine no shortage of men in my neck of woods who prefer a take charge top who passionate and enjoys making love not just having sex…

  22. John...

    Just normal sex to me. Being versatile in bed I like a guy who is man enough to give and take it. I don’t really see it as a dominant or submissive thing, just two men being men, no assigned roles, just rough fun is all.

    BTW; finally a good topic.

  23. Brother CA

    Sex (for me, anyway) is NOT about an expression of the power relationship between myself and my sex partner in the encounter. Likewise, it is NOT about the relative rank of authority that may exist between us (example: me a tenured professor, he a new student or perhaps a new addition to the custodial staff). What engages me and holds my attention is the feeling of mutual interest and attraction plus a sense of compatibility between our personalities. Lots of issues–many appearance issues, ethnicity, or age are secondary to being non-issues at all.

    Again, for me personally, I am a strong, direct personality. I am comfortable taking the role of teacher/mentor/guide in the encounter, but I DON’T want to cross over into abusive contact, contact that demeans another person, is punitive in nature, etc. I want a personality that is fully participatory in the goings on of the moment and who is not so passive they impersonate a beached sea lion. Additionally, I want ONE of us to be “Chief,” and the other ‘Indian”—two personalities that are exactly the same in experience, authority, authority, etc. tend to almost certainly get into power struggles.

  24. Hunter0500

    Some guys want to be constantly dominated. That’s their choice. Let someone else make all the decisions about what’s going to happen on the workbench. Always looking for the next thrill of someone controlling them, meeting their need. Disappointed when the domination choices aren’t what the’d like or those choices take a surprising (not good) turn. Disappointing, too, when Mr. Dominator gets bored and moves on to his next guy to dominate leaving the dominated cold and alone.

    Pesonally, I want buds in bed who are willing to dominate and be dominated, neither one of us knowing at the start of the event who’s going to be calling the shots that particular time, but since we’re regular buds we know the sex will be new enough to be exciting yet familiar enough that in the end everyone gets served. It’s a dance that’s worked out as soon as we touch. Most often, one of us takes an agressive lead. Now and then, neither of us does. When the later happens, the sex that day will be more relaxed, easy, and tender. Sometimes both want to dominate and the sex becomes exciting and bed-breaking. It all adds to the variety that makes sex great.

    Have sex only with dominating guys? Hot not.

  25. Lifegboi

    For me, it depends on whom I’m having sex with… I am there to please that other person. If they want me to be dominant, I’ll gladly take the reigns and pound that ass. If they want to be a power bottom, I’ll just lay there and watch them ride my cock. Same thing goes for when I bottom, rarely happens, but still. Mixing it up during sex (i.e. dominant or submissive) is what keeps the sex hot. It’s better when I can be dominant one time and the next time we hookup, the other guy does all the work or we meet somewhere in the middle.

  26. G90814

    If your personality changes for the bedroom, then it’s not for me. I think some guys watch too much porn and think it a turn on. To each his own I guess.

  27. Aja_2

    NOT!!! Being a good, dominant lover requires knowing how to please not just forcing someone to do what you want sexually. Very few guys who call themselves “dominant” understand that. Confident is WAY better than Dominant.

  28. Marvin

    Incredibly hot!!! Nothing more sexually gratifying than a man that enjoys controlling and dominating me for his pleasure. A lover with a rough aggressive side is intoxicating to me. I’m all in for that man.


    I am a dominant bottom in the way this word is being used; but more like passionately aggressive. I also seeks top who is a dominant top. I think this combination for me when happens (rare)is fireworks! That’s why single but looking for a mate! Hit me up!

  30. Marvin Tx

    I’m not usually a bottom(only when iTs hot)..But when I do bottom i love a dominant man..Dominant,a lil aggressive,some man handling gets me’s fuckin hott

  31. Tomzuk

    I like a cross between aggressive and dominant. I tend to like a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it. Too many ‘top’ guys are way too passive.

  32. Douglas

    The fun part is being a power bottom, subtly controlling all the action yourself, but making the top think he’s the one who’s really calling the shots. And then the REALLY fun part is explaining that to him as you show that human dildo the door.

  33. jeff

    I love a hands on man. I am into being slapped choked and called names. Love his strong hands on me while I am worshiping him. Love it when he puts me in a new position and just thinks of me as his bitch.

  34. Mark

    I am a submissive, slave, pussyboi,,, so YES. I love to be dominated to the max. Would love to have a MASTER that takes full control of me 24/7. I love to be used, abused, totally humiliated and totally controlled. Since surgery 3 yrs ago,,, I am horny 24/7 and can never get enough. Whether I’m servicing my MASTER or anyone he orders me to, I will follow HIS orders,,, no questions asked.

  35. Marvin

    I typically/rarely bottom..BuT when I do,a dominant man is what I prefer..Authoritative,verbal,a lil aggression,and sum manhandling is what geTs me off..Texas boys can handle

  36. liento

    Not for me. I am a lover, not a fighter, or sub. Love to please my partner, I want to wear him out and drain his cock, but with a measure of respect and humanity.

  37. isubmit2Cock

    As you can tell by my name i am completely submissive and love Dominant men. love to be taken control of and used, controlled and directed to worship His Cock…all You Dom Sirs feel free to talk with this sub more…same profile name

  38. alainD

    Definitely a turn-on for me when a guy knows what he wants and goes for it, though I do have limits. As long as the guy can respect my comfort level, I’m more than happy to comply.

  39. Meatycock9

    Love a dominant man. I too am not very submissive in life but in bed i like a dominant guy. Be rough, just dont kill me. I mean choke me a bit, bite my nipples. Never been fisted. I too have a tight small puckered asshole. Most i have had in there was a finger, yes im virgin bottom ass! Lol i think the roughness of some sex, long duration of foreplay is what triggers me to shoo a load clear over my head.

  40. Rick

    I the beauty of being gay is sharing dominance. As a top, i enjoy pounding away at my bottom, slapping his ass, holding his head down with my foot as i get him doggy style, and re-positioning him while fucking. In turn, i enjoy my partner pushing my head down when i suck his cock, fuck my throat, kiss me hard, and i love, love, LOVE it when he pulls me closer and tighter when i fuck him.

    So my vote goes for hot.

  41. Papa_Bear

    I’ve met with many inexperienced guys. As such, I have to take control, and quickly at that because they just don’t know what to do. But we talk about what to expect during our time together. In the end, we’re there to make love. I’m not going to bark out orders and be rude and demeaning. That’s a HUGE turnoff to me and my man.
    I have a very strong personality but once we get started, here we go. I’m not one to back out as we know what we want to do and it’s time to go for it. I think that gives my man a calm sense of assurance that I know what I’m doing and he can trust me.
    I’m not selfish but I do know what I want and he knows it too. And we’re in it full tilt until we can’t go any further from sheer exhaustion. I’ve never had one disappointed yet!
    Dominant? Not really. Assertive and take charge? Absolutely! I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  42. Steve

    Dominant is hot … within limits.

    Too often — either in porn or, unfortunately, real life — it equates to men who are insensitive to their partner and border on abusive/violent. I’ve had guys who agreed to a “safe word” but then wouldn’t heed it because it was “too early” or they “weren’t there yet.”

  43. CupidsEgo

    Personally I get pleasure out of being able to please my partner.I love the ego boost I get when taking the lead and being able to make a man cum. A dominate man somewhat take away from that, however I do need to be put in my place at times!

  44. Celibate Freak

    Very hot to me. Sometimes I like rough playing and kind of bossing my man around. But most of the time I like it when he just shuts me up, smack my ass, grab my neck, and bang me silly! No asking, no requesting, toss me and turn me whenever, however, and wherever you please. That’s a nice time to me 😉

  45. Willsd23

    It’s totally hot! Even better if it’s a guy like in the pic above! I’m totally not a passive bottom, but love it when my partner takes control and guides the motion and position. Woof!!!

  46. Bboii

    I like a dominant male someone macho type it just runs me on to see that in sex videos especially if he is older and has a muscular body :0 I’m fuckn horny just thinking of it

  47. Oliver

    Yes, I love a dominant man. The problem is too few gay men are truly dominant. Most gay men I’ve met are whiny, entitled specimens with the emotional maturity of jr. high school girls who are overly impressed with themselves. A dominant man is one who is not acting. He takes the lead both in bed and, more importantly, out of the bedroom. He’s solid. A rock.

  48. Spanky

    I think it depends on the time of day, and the point one finds ones self thru-out the growing pains of being GAY. Like right now, I’m HIV+, and cant even consider sex Hot or Not. Not sure where I stand on it. but in my past, younger years being a HOT Hung Top, All the guys loved for me to take control,

  49. Love it

    I love a dominant take charge man. My biggest fantasies involve me being forced to submit to a man. I’m not into pain, but soft (no pun intended) play such as holding me down and “forcing” me suck his cock gets me so hot!

  50. AZMan

    It’s very hot, I like it both ways.. I like to take control and dominate a guy but then also like a man to take over.. Also agree with Scott above, flip fucking each-other is hot as hell.. Being versatile is the best of both worlds…

  51. Tallleggy

    Totally into taking the innocent into being totally in control and dominant and giving myself over, play out like this…. getting fisted is giving myself. unless you’ve gone there, u don’t know… hey, it’s not just having, it’s getting there, luv being the first a younger dudes fisted…the innocent look is best, sort of taking them to the other side. So, like how do you make for a gaping hole? First i answer the door, in chaps or hot jeans that say “fuck me” on the rear, so they know my ass is theirs, they don’t have to ask, they take it where they want. Beds got lube, toys… they fuck me first, then work me open with a finger, then a dildoe, they then start to figure out they’re in control, total…s coo how they go from mild and innocent into letting their rough side get discovered and start playing hard, discovering the edge. then they’ll usually get worked up and fuck again, finally knowing it’s time, pulling out and exchanging their dick for a finger or two and they think that’s as far as they can go, until i take lube and put it on the wrist, nothing said, they slowly work it in to their wrist. when there, i tell them they have total control, which the do, going in further and way more agressive, playing it out rough, like they are totally in heat. when they are at their highest point of heat, i’ll say “fuck me” and they slide their fist out and fuck the roughest and hardest they have ever and blow a load like they never have (i’ve been told). sometimes they’ll slide their fist in again as i jerk off, feeling my orgasm from the inside. is it gaping this point, yep and feels so used and fantastic. both of us won…

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