Gay Stuff : Hooking Up….

What’s in a name?  When I set up my profile I wanted it to reflect what I was looking for and where I lived.  I live on the east side of Coachella valley and I really like oral so you have:  eastvalleyoral.  Now, that being said, is oral all I’m looking for?  I flagged a guy not too long ago by saying hello.  His response was something like this:  looking for more than just oral, I love to fuck and rim ass etc…  I read his response and thought, OK I get it but just because my name has oral in it is that all I am looking for? 

Then it got me to thinking, what happens on the average A4A hookup?  Is everyone fucking?  Is no one sucking dick anymore?  So I thought I would put this out to the readers of this blog:  When you hook up on A4A or anywhere else, what percentage of your hookups are oral ONLY?  What percentage of times does the hook up lead to fucking, top or bottom, or break it out if you are vers?  

Thoughts? Comments?

g skorich AKA eastvalley (new name)

There are 61 comments

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  1. eddie

    If someone has “oral”, “top”, “bottom” etc. in their name, I think they do so to designate immediately their primary interest. 0% oral only but generally because I am looking for more and tell any prospect in advance.

  2. vafratboy

    Your “more than just oral” friend ought to realize that rimming IS oral sex.

    I’m in an open relationship precisely BECAUSE we’re both tops so a hook up that doesn’t involve me topping kinda misses the point, but I’ll do it occasionally if the guy is hot enough.

  3. Mark

    Most of my hook-ups are oral only. They are usually married men or partnered and only want release. I do not have a problem with oral only. I love to be used and sent on my way. Part of the humiliation I like.

  4. James

    A majority of the men, I hook up with have lost the art form of sucking dick. I guess the negative connotation of sucking Dick= nelly bottom kind of permeates their psyche. I must admit I’m a top, who can’t resist sucking a nice fat Dick….. In any case, most guys lure you over to their places with delusions of grandeur about doing anything and everything under the sun. Only to knock on the door with their ass up, and they want you hard up and shoving it in. Yes we all have those super horny, let’s bust a nut moment; but it kind of makes me feel cheap if after 2 hours of chatting, it’s 5 mins of pleasure, what a waste!

  5. The Shaded Truth

    90% of the time is oral for me. I don’t like hooking up and having intercourse although I am vers. I’ve got to save something for a relationship. Most times I just get head from the same person and give head to the same person. But sometimes a newbie comes along.

  6. Christophe

    All of my hook ups start with making out, then move on to “oral” activities. If there is good chemistry, then yes, we advance to fucking. It simply depends on the chemistry between the parties involved. There have been many times, however, where it was agreed upon that oral was the only activity on the table, but somehow the moment escalated to rimming, and on to fucking.

  7. Matt

    I don’t see what the issue with his reply was. You clearly put oral in your name and on your profile as sex position, so it shouldn’t come across as surprising that that was his first assumption. If you want a different response, change the sex position, your name, or alter your profile dialogue.

    I honestly would have appreciated this article more if it had been about either asking us how we enjoy our hook ups or if we believe more can be gained from the site than that. It seems pretty clear that a good percentage are looking for anything besides just oral, be that fucking, dating, casual, friends, etc and even the ones that enjoy/prefer oral most of them will fuck/get fucked at least on a blue moon.

    Everyone on here would likely have a much easier time finding what they wanted if they were just honest and upfront with what they want in the first place. If you are just looking to hook up with some sexy dudes, then don’t put friends as an option on your profile and don’t make it seem like you’re open to everyone. I don’t consider it you being an asshole, more like you’re trying to save yourself and someone else the time if you guys wont be a match. Likewise if you honestly don’t care if you jump in bed with someone or not and would like to spend quality time, then don’t put misc fetishs/group sex/1 on 1 etc, just friends or relationship and give each person their fair shot if they hit you up.

    With this being said, very few of my meetings/hook ups involved oral only. Some have been just sex, but full blown, some have been hanging out and then sex, some have been just friendly encounters, some have been going out and maybe sex at some point/after a couple times, but oral only would be under 10% of the time if 5%. I wouldn’t expect most people’s to be over 25% unless they are the giver maybe.

  8. Stoney

    It seems to me that many men are way to focused on performance…..when I hook up with anyone it is with the intent of having a pleasant satisfying experience….I don’t have a list of things to be done….whatever the moment calls for as long as it’s safe….respectful…and mutually satisfying…….

    I have had hook ups where we just kissed and cuddled and others where we tore each others clothes off and fucked like neanderthals…..

    It’s all good guys………for me it’s about the journey and not always the destination…

    As a versatile man…I have no preferences…….it just depends on the man and the moment….

  9. joey

    Wel eastvalleyguy, I live in the central valley in cali, and I can only speak for myself, but if and when I hookup,I prefer oral, jo, maybe kissng and body contact, depending on attraction, How can anyone promise anything more w/o meeting, I suppose if I was a kid again, I might be in a different place, but thats me.

  10. BluColla

    What name you use or what you say in your ad has no bearing on the response you will receive. Guys have hit me who are 100% NOT what I’m looking for. Forget about finding the right name or saying the right thing cuz it doan
    My contacts don’t go as far as sex. I’m doing nothing but chatting. If they’re not truly what I want then we ain’t fucking. No oral, no anal, no foreplay nothing.

  11. Täíä

    I think it depends on if they read your profile or not. Like with some people on A4A one has to be blunt because some, if not most, are very thick headed. Hookups depend on what you both want like you have to come to a consensus so that you both get what you want and are pleased by that consensus result. But again it depends on if that person reads your profile and sees what you are all about before approaching.

  12. Boricua17

    I happen to be a person who prefers only oral encounters although I consider myself an oral bottom, but most and by most I mean about 99% of guys just want to fuck. I get it, but seeing as how most tops don’t know how to take care of a bottom before ramming the dick in the ass. I mean not all of us are power bottoms and some of us need to take it easy. The guys i have tried to hook up with always ask “you only do oral?” like they want head but they want ass too…its just a turn off sometimes. So with that said I prefer oral it gives me pleasure servicing a guys and I can still cum …but a guys who likes just head are hard to come by because they don’t see it as enough… Lighten up guys sex is not just fucking… Playing before hand counts too and more than often we forget to play before we get dirty!

  13. Bill

    Hookups for me are about 30% exclusively oral, though all of them have involved it. If you have oral in your name, then state your other preferences in your profile to show that you are not exclusively interested in oral. I’m open to oral and other kinds of foreplay exclusively, but prefer more. That a guy only wants oral or foreplay does not leave me wanting more though, it’s usually pretty satisfying.

  14. Ian

    I know I must be one of the “unlucky few” mwm who hardly ever get a hook up from this site, but I try. Many who use the site are looking for anything, not specifics… first time… if it clicks then they get very specific. Many on the site are jerks who never really want to get together anyway, they want pics, they lead you on and many times are no shows. I keep trying to find a few good friends eventually.

  15. Charles

    Depends on my mood…..Sometimes I feel like sucking cock…other times fucking ass or getting mine fucked…Sometimes just trading a good old fashioned blow job is in order….other times rimming a hot ass is what I crave….sometimes all of the above……..why limit ones self? my screen name doesn’t elude to any preferences….

  16. John...

    This is such a no brainer, don’t even know why this question has to be asked.

    By using “oral” in your screen name “eastvalleyoral” instead of just putting what you like in your profile and using a nonsexual related screen name you are inadvertently emphasizing that you are mainly into oral.

    I’ll bet a lot of guys see that and if it’s not all they are looking for they don’t even bother to read your profile and just move on to someone else.

    Now if you are attempting to hook up with Madame Cleo the psychic your question might have a point lol!

  17. dan

    I don’t hook up with anyone online. I only chat with them. There are way too many STDs out there to be speaking of hooking up as if it’s something as simple as what’s on the menu for dinner tonight. You guys are playing Russian roulette with your health. I can’t see myself having sex with someone if there is not the slightest bit of attraction and at least some passionate kissing. If I was to hook up with someone, I would be very picky and take a long time getting to know them first and getting back on the original subject, I would prefer someone to perform oral on me with a rubber on my penis.

  18. thundercats tygra

    Ok if you going to hook up it means sex.. Just that simple. Oral sex is just foreplay.. Whats the point of hooking up for just oral sex? If i’m lpoking for hook up on a4a, i want full blown out, hot, sweaty sex.. Pardon my language but jucst sucking dick does nothing for me, especially when the other petson doesn’t suck dick. My rule is this.. If you hit me up looking for sex on here then its sex. If you want oral find some dude at an adult bookstore(yes i know plenty of yall go there) or bath house, otherwise a4a is for str8 up, full blown out sex!!!

  19. jim

    u learn something new every day story is to the point and intresting Alot of men is reading sex into almost every thing these days what happen to a simple hello

  20. steve

    my log in is olderman. This should tell you that I am a older guy. If you want to contact an old person. Fine wit me. If you don’t, it doesn’t bother me. What is the big deal.

  21. Brother CA

    I’m a top. I like oral on the same basis as I like hors d’oeuvres—something tasty and enjoyable that comes before the entree (read ENTRY) that follows.

  22. John...

    I have a number of regulars who are into giving oral only, which is fine with me because that’s all I want from them and I enjoy getting good head to completion as much as anything else. They also save me having to jack off when none of my regular fuck buddies are available.

  23. sjohnson

    i always laugh at looking for “friends” but also have a dick or ass pic. so i assume who will fuck with friends as well—ugh! it’s a sex site for christs sake. anywho…that’s what “chat” is about—talking about what your likes/dislikes are and go from there. the other decides he doesn’t want to meet…then oh well.

  24. Carlton

    Living in a big city, if all I wanted was some random head I’d just go to a bookstore. I don’t.

    I also don’t do one-off tricks, only guys w some form of potential for FB or FWB.

    Wildest part is that, although I’m very well hung, I’m scoring more hotter younger guys now that I’m in my 40s than ever… Guess its a hung dilf thing??

  25. dave

    When you have oral in your screenname, it is an automatic indication to your preference. Even now your profile is vague….”lets not make this complicated”…but yet you still complicate it by not giving any information. Vers…top…bottom…oral…would help out and give some guys a hint.

  26. Shawn

    most of my hookups are oral, because I don’t think it’s safe to fuck a total stranger. if i’ve hooked up with a guy and blown him multiple times, then it usually escalates to fucking once it becomes a semi-regular thing. but one time things are almost always blowjobs

  27. Darryl

    The whole hook up thing is nothing really new. When Men want to meet up and have sex, that could consist of many ways you can get off. Connecting on a4a or other sites should give you a chance to list what turns you on, them making it happen. If Oral is all you want, there are guys who are just in the mood to suck dick. We how enjoy oral, anal, kissing, etc is up to the Men involved. I’d love to take a pole, as to who actually is hooking up.

  28. LetMeSuckUDryy

    I do not know about others,but my screen name says just what I am mainly looking for. To Suck U Dry,Will do other things,but mainly my screen name covers it.

  29. Hunter0500

    By the time a guy and I hit the workbench, we’ve already chatted, either online or over coffee or a beer, about what the activities will be. In early dating I made the mistake of jumping at a couple of guys without discussion. The results with them were surprises, and generally not good ones. If you’re going to buy a hook up sight unseen, then you can’t complain about the outcome, or lack thereof.

    Generally, I’m pretty vanilla and varied when it comes to the workbench. Heavily oral, kissing a must. Beyond at, the door is open. Buds and I agree that if a guy doesn’t kiss or doesn’t kiss well, play is usually not good. There’s often a lack of focus and a lack of reciprocity. For me,if a guy doesn’t kiss, connecting is usually not a good idea.

  30. TrizzyTroy

    Im not putting sumthin sexual in ANY title that describes me. It will not define me. However being fully versatile my motto is “there’s no 6 w/o the 9. A dude can’t get what he’s not willing to give, ESPECIALLY on a hit n run. You want head (and my tongue game is wicked) you gotta bring it. And you’re definitely not fuckin me on a booty bandit mission if I can’t tap sum good clean ass. Yes I’ve compromised my positions (pun intended) BUT only if dude proves he’s worth my time which is more then a 1 Nite stand.

  31. stkyazn

    a hookup is what it is…a hookup. don’t make it too complicated. a hookup is supposed to be fun…not a freaking root canal.

  32. BooDuh

    I have had A LOT of good hookups through here… I also my best friend, and my fiancee… both originally being hookups.

  33. Imaguy19

    To me a hookup is different than a longer term relationship. For a hookup, I probably am 30% hand only, 60% oral and the balance penetrating sex, Although I am exclusively a top. To me great oral sex is very satisfying for immediate needs thus the desire for a hookup.

  34. naughtybychoice

    When I hook up, I plan to please and be pleased. Oh I get the “What r U Into” thing all the time. I let any potential hook up know that I don’t plan ahead. I hate blo n go, I hate quickies. But like thinking of dinner at breakfast time, I never know what I will have a taste for. To me oral is a very important part of foreplay, but as for it being the only thing, hey if it rocks your boat However, if you get with me, once you taste my lollipop you won’t want it to stop.

  35. Wayne

    My profile says foreplay which to means hugging kissing almost anything except fucking. Sad thing is only few know how to do this right. I try to be honest by saying no hairy men or masculine but I always seem to attract that which I don’t seek…

  36. Creepyperv

    Basically everything Matt said(which happens to be my name too) is spot on. I agree with everything you said good sir! We’re twinsies.

  37. RayBronx

    Hello Guys: My hook ups are mostly oral. For me it’s the thrill in seeing a guy in awe from receiving great head an artform definitely lost as mentioned in previous comments. Everyone is so used to halfass or amateur blow jobs, that they go into the search seeking sex sex sex. Cause the way they see it l, that’s the best they can get out of a man is a tight hole, the idea that an awesome cock sucker exists and is willing to suck or shall I say worship the dick all day everyday is too good to be true. I don’t care for being fucked so soon. I love oral mostly giving cause there are so few of us that suck good at all. What’s good oral. Hard to explain. U don’t feel teeth. It feels so wet and mushy. The tongue is crucial. Deep throat sloppy messy blow job there is nothing neat about great head so remove all clothes at least from waist down and try sit on a towel its gonna get real wet down there. And u better like it.

  38. TheOneDusker

    I think profile names can do that. If I saw your profile name I would assume that’s all you were looking for.

  39. Justin Taylor navysoccerboi7

    I don’t do hookups really, but if I do, its pretty apparent that Im not oral bottom even tho I do know how to suck a damn good dick! Im totally into fucking!

  40. Honeybearbiker19

    This question sure has generated alot of response.
    It is helpful if the profile name gives at least an idea of who the person is or what he is looking for. Of course it can’t tell the whole story. The broader issue is honesty. If more guys clearly stated who they are and what they are looking for, we would all save alot of time. Many profiles are inconsistent, misleading or confusing.
    Come on guys – less impersonal time messaging, emailing, misleading etc. and more personal time enjoyed meeting up – with or without sex.

  41. Darren

    Yes for me when I’m on I’m looking for oral, I never seem to have a problem finding anyone to suck my cock. However, sometimes I do get that guy who even tho I told him what I was looking for insist on having me fuck him…..I’ve been told I’m wasting a good cock to only want oral….but when I’m on I want my cock sucked and thats it.

  42. Slammer51

    Many of my hook-ups are oral only but normally because of the availability of time. If time permits I will give up the ass with the stipulation that when the time arrives, I want the big finish to happen in my mouth. I consider a nice protein snack as just payment for taking the dick in my ass.

  43. hrdbbcplzr

    I am usually turned off by someone who has oral as their preference, thinking that is all they want. If looking for more then list it in your profile description. For me, my main thing is bottoming, don’t like to make out or j/o, and despising kissing which I have found is a must for many. I am married and very discreet bi, but don’t even like kissing my wife or any woman either.

  44. eastvalley

    it looks like most hookups are talked about before hand as to what to expect, once you get there things can change, depending on chemistry.

    thanks for all the great comments.

  45. Osei

    It is like advertising. You have five seconds to catch someone’s attention with your screen name and what they see will tell them to look or move on. Who has time to read everything that in written in your profile if the initial advt doesn’t catch your attention:

    What do you think the following individuals are in to:

    Eastvillageoral, Btm4Pounding, 12inchBBC, Addicted2sex, trackstar, HngTp4PwrBtm, surferdude, LadyDragOn ….

    So we all make the 5 second call on the names and if you get a message from the person, it is how you initially showed yourself. As the old saying goes – if someone tell you who they are, believe them.

  46. radman555

    Hey all. Let me get this str8. U post these blogs and post these blogs. But….Everyone hopefully knows or at least has some idea that sites like adam4adam, pof, and all the numerous other social sites are crammed with fake profiles and fake stats. Before a rant starts maybe u should ask yourself is anyone really going to listen. Everyone in the “hookup” scene knows that they want 2 cut to the chase. The internet is a tool if used 2 search for social hookups; assuming the user has a rudimentary knowledge of internet protocols. What makes u or anyone else think that ppl posting on the “sites” through the various server plats. are or ever will be “real”. enough said.

  47. carl

    For me its about getting my cock sucked. As stated earlier… its becomming a lost art. I enjoy having my cock serviced. I vers but if I did meet anyone it would be just to recieve oral. Since I dont hook up here or anywhere… its very rare that I meet anyone anyway. For me would be great to meet someone that enjoys suckin cock. Ive had some guys that attempted… and others that it was mind blowing.

  48. Mike

    I fall into the “discreet cocksucker bi guy” type so most of my encounters are oral and 90% of the time its just me sucking.

    I have with known friends fucked but I reserve that for once in a while and with the right person.

    The number 1 reason I dont fuck hooking up is EVERY and yes I mean EVERY time Ive said I was open to the possibility, the other person either tried to sit on my cock or stick his in my ass BARE. That literally has terrified me from even thinking about it really.

  49. Stowbiguy

    Really…. Cannot believe all the crap posted so far.

    So for me when I meet up with someone on A4A or any other gay site for that matter, I make it 100% clear that oral action is happening to completion. In addition, they better plan on getting their mouth fulled up with my sperm. If they are not into that we do not meet up period.

    I am a oral top who really likes to suck off a well hung dick (7 inches or more) and feel it shoot a big saltie sweet load in my mouth too. So I make it clear that if their ruler has the first several inches cut off, so it reads 7, 8 or 9 inches, I am not sucking their cock period. About 30% or so when chatting will then say well my cock is really only maybe 5 or 6 inches…really. Like I would not know that when I played with it? Only about 15% still fvcking lie when we do meet up. I do not suck it or just pull up my pants and find the door. If they are going to lie about something that basic then what else are they lieing about too?

    I get about 60% of my emails from bottoms who want to get fucked as part of the meeting. It turns out I might only fuck about 25% of the guys I meet for hook ups. I make it clear that fucking is something that may or may not happen based on how we click when we suck each other off.

    Cannot tell you exactly the percentage how many guys lose interest in man on man sex once they blow a load. But would guess it is some were around 20 to 30% or so. I really hate that and my oral first really helped me weed out those folks. That way I end up with guys who are into man sex even when not all horned up, like me.

  50. John...

    July 30, 2013 at 21:18

    “i always laugh at looking for “friends” but also have a dick or ass pic. so i assume who will fuck with friends as well—ugh!”

    That made me laugh. I have “looking for friends” in my profile too as well as other stuff about the kind of guys I am interested in, but no dick or ass as my main pic.

    All of my regular FBs are also my good friends and I am open to being friends with anyone I meet, be it on here for sex or in real life for sex. Point is: friends do fuck each other and hookups can become friends.

    In fact fuck buddies are a lot more secure and more fun than having a LTR with just one guy. Especially in gay life where most guys are unhappy and insecure with themselves and they mistakenly believe that someone else will make them happy and secure.

    The fact is: if you are not happy and secure with yourself first then your unhappiness and insecurity is what will ruin any relationship you do manage to get yourself into and this is why most gay relationships end up failing. These kind of relationships are dysfunctional, codependent and the results of mental illness.

    True love is attracted more to those who don’t really need it. It’s just a little more icing on an already perfectly good cake.

  51. inmydreams99

    I think I live in a troubled area, or I am some kind of a troll or something. I’ve only EVER had one hookup that came back.

    I usually end up sucking the guy off. Would love to try topping but apparently dont have enough dick to satisfy the dude. Judging from the dicks I see and handle, they are probably right… but have been told by a few of the guys that I am VERY good at it. So why no repeats? Don’t know.

    I’ve bottomed a few times too and that was very cool, depending of course on the guy (and NOT the size of his dick), but I really dont want to classify myself as a “bottom”. Anyone have any suggestions?

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