Gay Stuff : Do You Kiss In Public?


Public display of affection (PDA) is great and might be proof that you really love your partner but PDA can put other people in a uncomfortable position, even more if the 2 people are of the same sex. Whether you like to kiss, hold hands or hug in public, I think it is not as easy when you are gay.

When you have a boyfriend, do you show your affection for him in public without restriction? Or are you keeping it for when you are at home, or with friends or family? Some of my friends who live in NYC are scared to show affection to their lover now, after all the hate crimes this past year… What do you think about that?

Be careful when traveling, because some cities like Dubai are strict and kissing your lover in public can send you to jail….


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  1. darryl

    I agree with Joey, there is a place for all things, and if the emotion of a kiss of a loved one is warranted, then it’s fine. I’am sure whoever is around won’t be totally shocked in 2013. Now if you’re doing it for shock value, then that’s something all together different.

  2. seth

    I kiss, hold hand, & show affection to my boyfriend & vice versa while in public. I know that some people may not like it or stare at but this is where i approach them and ask them “is there a problem i can help you with?”.. Usually they say no, but those who say something i tell them this; ” i don’t like it when i see a man & woman kiss and what not in public, but you don’t hear me complain about it do you?”. That usually shuts them up.. Everytime i confront someone who has a problem with me showing PDA towards my man or vice versa, is one step closer to making them understand that i don’t wanna hide who i am and who i love.. Acceptance is what i’m shooting for. You may not like what i’m doing, who i am, but accepting that i’m not changing for anyone is my goal.. For religious people jesus himself taught about acceptance & tolerence.. Use that bit of info next time you want to have some PDA with your date..

  3. Sean

    I agree with Joey… there’s a time and place for everything. Being a bi I don’t want to see straights, gays, lesbians no one doing PDA. Just me. ..

  4. Jeff

    I agree with Joey. A quick hug is about the most I’ll do in public. Living in the south, you still have to be careful.

  5. coasterman

    Yes I show PDA. Now that same sex marriage is legal the breeders need to get use to same sex couples showing PDA.

  6. DEversatile

    Depends on where you find yourself. Here in Rehoboth Beach DE it is not uncommon at all to see same-gender couples holding hands or kissing in public. It’s the kind of place where most (not all) of the locals treat us as 1st class citizens who have added a lot to the community. The tourists? That can be another thing, but many understand where they are and how we roll here.

    Where I grew up in middle Georgia, or later in conservative Pittsburgh, or more recently where I lived in the foothills of Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mts…..they are taking baby steps but the local scene hasn’t evolved the way places like Rehoboth has. It could be downright dangerous in those places to push the PDA envelope.

  7. TrizzyTroy

    I come from loving n affectionate family. So PDA is natural for me b it family friends or lover. Now I’m not doing anything that is disrespectful n raunchy say at a playground or bus stop. But I find that ppl that have issues w/any kind of PDA r usually cold n lacking behind closed doors. Your sexuality is only a part of who u r. Dress it up or dn to suit the occasion. I’ve been in gay clubs n danced n kissed the night away. Am I doing that at the train station on my way to work? No. If we’re in my car driving n I put my hand on his thigh n tap to the music fine, Am I pinching his nipple in line at Walmart? No. If we’re playing pool at straight spot do I feel the need to palm his ass as he bends to shoot?No But if we’re at lovers lane parked up n the straight ppl r fogging up widows damn right I’m going for mynz!!

  8. einathens

    public spaces and events belong to everyone. we have as much right in them to be ourselves as the hets do.

    that said, there is a world of difference between public displays of affection and public displays of ownership. one is sweet, driven by emotion, and the other is desperate, fueled by ego. one’s always welcome, the other never is.

    depending on the situation, just holding hands can be a political statement. i’ll do it if it needs to be done.

    a kiss can be an act of bravery.

    got a problem with the fact that I won’t play invisible? I will cut a bitch.

    this world belongs to us, too. power isn’t given, it’s taken. time we stop hiding and start kissing.

  9. Jeff

    Holding hands? Sure, why not? A nice embrace and a kiss when you first meet up is nice too. But if it starts to go over 5 seconds or involves tongue it’s making out on the street and that’s not cool.

    But I have to admit that one time I had a lunch date with a guy I was really into. When we were walking back to our jobs he stopped in the middle of a very busy sidewalk and planted a deep long one on me. At first I wanted to break away after 5 seconds. But DAMN it was so hot I just shut my eyes,tuned out the world, and it was all about the moment!

  10. ajbbincubus

    I was scared and intimated at first, but now I really don’t care. I gave PDA to my ex long ago. Did we get stares and gawks, hell yes.. Did I really care, fuck no. I loved him at the time and I’m not gonna hide my feelings. If I see a gay couple kiss, I look at them and smile.

  11. G90814

    Within limits sure (and I hold str8 couples to the same standard). Showing affection in public is a given if I’m with someone… holding hands, hugs, kisses (quick ones, not making out), or sitting closely at restaurants.

    The example picture given above is fine, it’s kinda cute, and looks like just a quick kiss.

    Full on making out is not appropriate for anyone in public, but that’s just my opinion.

  12. Matt

    A peck on the lips…fine. I personally do not like to see ANY couples making out to the point you want to say go get a motel room. I’d rather NOT see it for anyone.

  13. EccoDiPluto

    Even with hate crimes, all people will have to come to understand that love is love. If kissing my man in public the same way straight people do causes hate crime, then bring it on. I’m here to live my life how I want, the way all people should. If you Dont like kissing gay men, then Dont kiss a gay man. (Drops mic)

  14. R

    It’s nice to see that kissing and holding hands still holds great value. I seem to not do it as much any more I guess dating when your poz is harder. Online dating although you can disclose you static to people upfront dose seems harder. Oh or maybe I’m older and been through much more and just harder to remain close to.
    But I do smile when I see real love because you can just tell.

  15. Abominationforme

    @seth I think it is your business what you do in public but I think your foolish and stupid to step to anyone. You must be a fighter, boxer, or a killer. I don’t want you to come up dead but your asking to be killed. I think you ought to chill out and keep it in the bed room. I know you think you have a right, even though it’s not RIGHT!

  16. Steven

    I would kiss my boyfriend in public and I don’t have a problem with others, straight or gay, showing pda. I’d rather see two people kissing than two people fighting!

  17. Joe

    My partner and I have been together for almost 4 yrs now. We hold hands, hug, and kiss in public. We live in the south also and do not really care what people think or say. We have a close knit group of straight friends that we go out with all the time. They do not care and actual would take up for us if they did. Not that we need it he is 6′ 4″ and I am 6′ Marine.

    We have had people come up to us and say I am proud of you for not caring what people think or say. One lady was even crying saying she hope her son would be able to do the same and not be afraid to do so. I know some people don’t even show any PDA in public straight or gay. Just be truthful to yourself and don’t worry about others.

  18. newleafonlife28

    I display my kissing. But mostly around family and friends but in public I only kiss my partner hello and good bye when it’s in public. But all together I don’t care wat others think. If straight people can show their affection by kissing why can’t gay people. French people do it all the time.

  19. RANDY

    Joey and all of his agreeable friends are so insecure with themselves. My partner/husband of 19 years, always show PDA in public. Holding hands a little kiss, on the lips or the cheek. What is wrong with that? Now if you are talking hard core kissing, none stop PDA, yes I agree with Joey and friends. I don’t think that kind of kissing belongs in public, str8, bi, gay, lesbian or whatever. Keep the making out behind close doors. Thank you

  20. John...

    No I wouldn’t do it, not even in a gay bar. There’s a time and place for everything and I’m not living Barbie’s life. I don’t care if others do it, that’s their choice and business and if someone hassles them for it their on their own.

  21. DDM

    I don’t mind a small kiss, but I don’t feel like making out in public is appropriate. I don’t want to see other people making out in public, so I imagine that they don’t want to see me doing it either. Making out in a club I understand but I myself would be a bit reluctant to engage in it even then because it isn’t my style. However, I don’t think it is unacceptable whether others choose to do it or not.

  22. Osei

    In 2013, there is nothing illegal about PDA amongst same sex partners. If someone does not like it then they can deal with the hate crime law that exist.

    I always hug and kiss my family and friends (straight and gay)[my oldest nephew thinks I am just over the top, but he always get kissed]in public and when they come visiting with me at or I go visiting at their place.

    I have walked with my hand on my partners shoulder, but never hand in hands in public and we have never made out in public… well not counting the time went we sat in the back row at the movie theater and kissed only for this lady with her date to roll her eyes at me.

  23. Reesey

    I never cared 4 it to much but if i had a lover who enjoyed it Fuck! i’d show him love and effection no matter the time or place

  24. FreeRangeRadical

    I spent 14 years in the US military in special operations. During that period, when gays were starting to become more visible, I thought that I’d never even hold hands in public. Then I got out of the military and started dating the cutest little femme boy I’d ever seen who had bigger balls than almost anyone I’ve ever known.

    I started looking around and all of the “masculine” guys virtually shunned anyone seen kissing or hugging or even holding hands. But the little queens didn’t give a fuck, they’d do it just to piss off the breeders in a if-you-can-do-it-so-can-we attitude.

    I come from an affectionate family. We hug, kiss, and hold hands. My partner and I do the same. If someone doesn’t like it, they’re free to come say something to my face, although I know they do it behind my back. There’s a word for that: Cowardice.

    If you choose not to be affectionate in public, you might search your innermost thoughts and pry open that dark place most people don’t want to peer into. You might find that you’re simply afraid of what people will say or think. Get over it.

    The more people are exposed to normal hugging, kissing, and holding hands, the sooner they’ll get over it. In fact, it’s been happening for decades and it’s not my fellow former beady-eyed snake eaters who’ve lead the way, it’s the little twinky queens.

    I don’t want to see anybody – gay or straight – making out in public. But I also don’t want to see some gay man who THINKS he’s being “masculine” by eschewing simple touching giving me the stinkeye because he doesn’t like the fact that my partner and I hold hands. If he doesn’t like it, he needs to talk to a therapist. Or come say something to my face.

    So far, THAT’S never happened.

  25. Enzo AKA La-Dom-Bodybldr

    LOL Of course I kiss in public! Any breeder-trash who doesn’t like it and/or can’t mind their own business can lock themselves up in their homes and watch a honey boo-boo marathon.

  26. BOB

    Really, if you think you need pda, then your reason for doing is NOT really that you need to show your lover affection, but rather something about what you want others to think. Apparently, that is still very important to some.

  27. Mitch

    PDA is okay to an extent a quick peck or a loving touch is okay but wether you straight gay bi or neither I think there should be some boundaries. When your swapping so much spit that everyone around you needs a rain coat I don’t care if you str8 or gay you need to cool it. A kiss is okay but I don’t want to feel like I’m in the middle of an orgy. So kiss if you want I do but I don’t use tounge or any kissing technics that a reserve for pre-sex foreplay.

  28. Hunter0500

    Public areas are just that, public. Does this mean gays have free reign to PDA to whatever extent they want to when there? Hell no. Straights don’t either. A hug, a short kiss, walking hand in hand or arms around each other … no foul. But when the PDA gets to the point you two need a room … get a room! No one who’s not participating in the fun should have to watch you just about getting your freak on.

  29. slimman

    I ABSOLUTELY believe in showing affection in public. I feel the more people see it the more they will accept it and that’s our goal! We kiss good hands but its always discreet and never overdone or emphasised

  30. Nicolas

    I would show them if I had to, but the concept of PDA shouldn’t be abused. Sadly for starters, society is still slowly groping with the who “same-sex” drama they’ve been accustomed to. More importantly, kissing obsessively, whether gay lesbian straight, can become an eyesore and more or less encourage someone to yell ” GET A ROOM”

    Like mentioned before, I would kiss hello and goodbye , and leave a majority of it in the presence of my friends and family or in privacy, and all at the same time as being a cautious as I am told to be, I also do not care who sees, I don’t seek acceptance from the public. since when did I have to seek approval from society? Do they pay my bills and supply me my paycheck? If you answered no, then there’s your answer.

    It’s a complicated subject really, whereas one nation may repress it more openly than others. That is to say USA has some catching up to do, and even more importantly, nations like Russia. Though I may not have anything to do with me, the ultimate resolution in PDA is understanding the human rights and elements of life. Everyone should have the right to express their love, regardless of orientation.

  31. jake

    Kissing is an expression of love. Love is universal. No one should be ashamed to show their love for another individual. It shouldn’t matter who that individual is or affailated with as long that person is returning your love through the same expression.

  32. Ashley

    I never did that. I’m a bit young and never had a partner. But I think its so sweet and lovely to show your love for each other in public. I see nothing wrong with that. I’d do it when I have a true lover one day

  33. Trini

    I’m from Trinidad (thats in the caribbean ) and I can’t wait for the day where I can be comfortable to atleast walk down the road and hold my partner hand or go out to dinner and not be afraid that persons think that we are in a relationship together.

  34. Rahdnie

    I love showing my husband affection in public but it depends on the area we are in, living in New York it’s not always good to show public affection with the same sex in certain neighbourhoods sad but very true

  35. Beau

    I love to show my love and affection openly with my boyfriend…not to shock anyone, make anyone uncomfortable or to make a political statement. I simply love him and he loves me and at times we are moved by our love to kiss or hold hands. Growing up in the repressive South, I never dreamed such a thing might be possible, but here in Philadelphia or New York I get a special warm feeling inside of me when we peruse the shops and galleries, hold hands across the table at a care, or give each other a quick peck if the spirit moves us. Yes, we generally save tongue action for behind closed doors, but more so because we feel that is more private and usually leads to some hot romance in quick order!

  36. coloradostud4u

    right on seth,,,,i,m the same way,,,my ex boyfriend never held my hand nor kissed me never even a little peck,,not even put his arms around me,,,one time i tryed at a gay pride he moved my hands away and says will you please stop i don,t want the whole fucking world to know,,,its like WTF?,,, well to make the story short our relationship did,nt last,,,he told me keep the touching to my self until we get home and behind doors,,,i love showing PDA vice versa,,,so right now i,m having a hard time dating a guy cause he won,t show PDA we hang out like some str8 guys side by side acting normal it,s like fuck that,,,i,m going to be me,,oh and while driving i could never touch his thigh he moved my hand and say were on the road where cars drive buy and see,,,I NEED A PDA GUY I MISS IT ALL ;-(

  37. Phil

    I kissed a guy in public and had a gun pulled on me. I do enjoy that Randy above and his privileged ways allow him to be judgmental, but there is a danger with PDA. I almost lost my life.

  38. Joel

    I love PDA, I don’t care what anyone else says just like what Seth said, if they have a problem then oh well, it shows you love yourself and partner and I also dislike straight couples doing that but you don’t see me staring them down. It’s 2013, no need to be DL. I hate that. Be happy and love yourself. I don’t care if you down south ethier lol, I do that shit too. I don’t care.

  39. Coco Drilo

    I do but depends. When I am at a city or state where people are so homophobic, I just give my bf a peck on the lips but if I am somewhere I feel comfortable I can give him a short french kiss. It is not that I care but I am not into kissing my bf in public for a long time. I mean I can do it at a club or a gay neighborhood but I prefer to do it at a place I feel really comfortable.

  40. Jeffrey87108

    Giving a kiss hello/goodbye is one thing. Making out is another. Forcing your beliefs on others only closes doors and shuts people minds.

    There is nothing wrong being proud and out. Holding hands as you watch a movie, walk down the street, or the mall. This is normal for all couples.

    A better question would be how do you introduce the man you are with? Is he your husband? Boyfriend? Or just a (roommate)

    There is nothing wrong with normal actions with a couple. Gay or straight. For those that want to force our lifestyle on other are no better then the preacher that tells me I will burn in hell.

    If you want respect give it. Act normal be proud in your skin and let others be proud in theirs

    I am getting off my soap box now. Love who you are and who you are with.

  41. sloppytoppy

    Yup… Whatever my man wants, he gets.. I even go as far as letting him gag me in the mans room.. He would sometimes slap my ass in the gym and watch it jiggle.. He’s gone now.. left me for a young bitch.. I was only 15..

  42. Kayne

    See I am good with PDA’s but then again I am somewhat of an exhibitionist. I think there are places where no one will give it a second look. but one must always be mindful of his and his partner’s safety and his partner’s comfort level

  43. Scot

    I was in a relationship for four years and always held his hand in public, and did so proudly.
    In the car we always held hands.
    I was just so in love with this guy that I wasn’t going to sensor my feelings. But I was always aware of our surroundings and would’ve protected him in a heartbeat.
    My feeling is that straights don’t even think twice about pda and its accepted. Why should I withhold my affection to appease the world? And maybe the more we show affection the more accepting the world will become.

  44. eyesofblue1972

    I have never been a person for public displays of affection. Holding hands or hugging doesn’t bother me but I feel deep, passionate kissing is best left for private moments. However, if I’m in a gay bar or other place that is gay friendly it doesn’t bother me to plant a big ole’ wet kiss on my man but I wouldn’t do it outside in public. It bothers me when anyone does it regardless of the nature of their relationship.

  45. Jason

    I think it is disrespectfull for a man and women to be going @ it like rabbits but to hold hands or a little kiss hello or goodbye there is nothing wrong with that no matter what gay or stright people need to stop concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing and worry about their own business its 2013 get over yourselves were are gay and here to stay

  46. iRandomaCcess

    Ok, I feel kissing in public is a sign that you’re proud of your partner. I kiss, hug, hold hands, and any other form of affection you can think of in public. That being said, I don’t make out and dry hump in public, I think it’s vulgar whether you’re gay or straight, and I agree with Darryl, if you’re doing it for the sake of being offensive then it’s no longer an act of affection, and in my humble opinion, a blatant misuse.

  47. Locksley

    I like and agree, with some of the comments of here. I think as you great someone (in the life) with a peck,on the cheeck or lips, is ok. If, it’s one of those “I’m goin’ to poke the daylights out of you” kind of kiss, tongue and all, no, absolutely not

  48. martin

    oh hell no! that ain’t right, straight or gay. keep the pda (anything beyond hand holding) to your private time. seriously I hate pda.

  49. FreeRangeRadical

    One thing we need to remind ourselves of, it seems from reading some of the posts here, is that PDA stands for Public Display of AFFECTION. It doesn’t mean Fucking In Public.

    Like queer, dyke, and fag, maybe it’s time to take that expression back – and share it with our bi and str8 friends who agree.

    AFFECTION. What’s wrong with that?

  50. 69aLBERT

    Well as an Adult we are grown I’m 35 and even if your younger you should feel like you can do whatever you want, it’s your emotions that make you do it and at that time if thats what it’s tell you to do then have no regrets about. Always know your surroundings because you might think there’s not one person looking, But for some reason you feel it and you should always go with that feeling. I have kissed or had someone kiss me in the eyes of many lol and was like oh my gosh what you are doing kissing me at this restaurant, but when you know you can hold your own and stand your ground theres no stopping a person and that can be sexy and I always say to whomever I’m with do you have my back because if something go’s down I don’t want to feel like I’m alone to fight for both of us.
    and thats my (RANT) THANKS FOR READING.

  51. Ky

    I’m fine with a kiss hello or good-bye, or if something “cute” happens. I have the same level of tolerance for straight couples as well as same-sex couples: if it gets to the point where you’re basically eating each other’s faces off (standard: socially distasteful), perhaps it’s time to find a more private area. That being said, it’s highly unlikely I’d say anything in public.

  52. TDG

    What on earth is a “breeder”? Don’t tell me there is a slur for heterosexual folk too now.

    As for topic, yes I have no issue kissing in public (not making out). It’s never happened to me and I’m itching to break that barrier for myself. I’ve been attacked for being gay by doing nothing more than walking home from work; if that’s enough to start unnecessary drama, then why settle for less?

    I’d rather live in the present without constantly checking to see if I’m appropriate for other people. Life’s too short and if people minded their own business they wouldn’t be concerned with mine.

  53. Joel718

    I was engaged last year. Thought I was madly in love and never thought of the idea of marriage or having a partner. Took him by the hand once we would be below 86th street on the upper east side. Would get stares, people gawking. Even idiots on the opposite side of the subway laughing. We would flip them off. We would only hug in public down in TriBeCa where I knew we would be safe or out in Rockaway beach 105. Places I knew were accepting. But once we were In upper manhattan or in the Bronx our demeanor would change. Almost been killed three times and I’ve lived in the Bronx for 18 years, I knew better than to hold his hand even though everyone knew we were engaged. Unfortunately, he cheated on me and it left a horrible taste in me. So PDA probably won’t happen ever again at least not for a long time.

  54. Brad

    Straight or gay, people don’t want to see PDAs. Furthermore, two people who love each other (in the true sense of the word) are secure enough with one another that they don’t have to display their affection to affirm to themselves, and others, that they’re into each other. That’s what you call cheap sentimentality. I’ll repeat that:

    *cheap sentimentality*

  55. Eric

    Well there are too many comments for me to read them all. I live in Southern California so we’re accepted by almost everyone, especially if we’re in West Hollywood we’re safe. But here’s what I have to say. If I had a boyfriend it would depend on how he feels for starters. Secondly, the farthest I’d probably go is a pec on the cheek. Hugs yes, kisses maybe, french kisses, no – unless we were in a movie where it would be dark. So it really all depends upon where you are and the setting. There is no real easy answer to this question.

  56. g

    my BF won’t hold hands with me in public, even after almost 8 years. it’s a bummer, but i’ve just had to accept it 🙁

  57. Allan

    well, i wish i could kiss in public but in my country its not legal. so that one fantasy i would have to bottle up until i get a chance to do do

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