Watch This : When Did You Choose To Be Gay?

This video is very good! Travis Nuckolls and Chris Baker interviewed people in the street in Colorado Springs asking them if they think someone is born gay or if you become gay? Their answers are surprising!

Check it out and let me know your thoughts on this and if you think we are born gay or if we become gay with different circumstances?
I think I was born gay, my aunt who’s also gay, knew it when I was 2 years old. She told me just with how I was reacting, walking, playing…she knew!



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  1. G90814

    I love it when the light bulb comes on for some people when they are then asked ‘when did you decide to be str8?”… some of them don’t get the irony of that question, unfortunately.

  2. M

    Born, it’s just how it is, the idea of choosing, come on that’s just ridiculous (maybe political). Riiiggghhht, like people are going to choose (as children/young adults yet) to be persecuted, bullied, discriminated against and out-right attacked. Nonsense. Just right-wing propaganda-LIES, come to “jezuz” he’ll make you “right”, etc. bull$hit!

  3. Stephen Antonellis

    What the fuck realy, let me ask you ADAM4ADAM when did u become gay? I was born gay hun walking with my nana with here handbag in one hand and the other hand with her………….

  4. Cuwnicu

    This vid bring the point home. When did we decide who we are. No one did, we are human before any other labels were place on us..

  5. Stoney

    Why is this still even debate-able?????……it’s like debating if the world is flat…….I was born that way….since birth I knew I was different…….so many others I know say the same thing…..DUH…..didn’t know what it was called but I knew I was different than other males….Why don’t you pose the better question to a heterosexual and ask them if they were born straight or when did they choose??????

    and at the end of the day……am I any less worthy???



  7. scorpiomoon

    I was raised Baptist, and was raised in Baptist schools. My whole family is very religious oriented to the point of being fanatical. Being Gay is not picnic. If I did have a choice, why would I choose to be persecuted for who I am.

  8. Srehturts

    I thought at first just from the title that this video was going to make me mad. I was very surprised by the people in the video, and now my question is editing and how many others went the other way with a definitive stance?

  9. mark200

    I fully believe, one is born Gay. At least I know in my own personal feelings I was gay right off, at the start of my life. I do not think you just wake up some day and say I’m Gay, I do not believe it works, that way! Mark

  10. Erich

    This is a great video … I think more people should watch this. So many heterosexuals take their sexuality for granted and feel that everything else is an immoral choice. I honestly believe that I was born gay and feel that I never had a choice in the matter. When I was young, I would have said that I would never have chosen to be gay, but now, I do not believe I would live my life any other way.

  11. Soft & Fluffy

    Like my straight friends I was born this way. Like we all are. So I knew from a very early age. No choosing involved.
    End of discussion.

  12. dllindsey12

    This is a very insightful video. People say that we choose to be gay but its not a choice for most of us. So the next time I get someone talking badly about gays, that will be my question to them. “When did you choose to be/Were you born straight?” Thanks Dave. You’re forever awesome.

  13. jace

    humm intresing post looks like people we have lot to lern that teach stroaght people tis not a chisce to be gay that is alot gentic to ben pruven

  14. Lord Matthew

    I am still debating on whether or not we were born gay or not. I believe it has to do with the upbringing and development.

  15. Eddie

    What incredibly insightful question and it’s so simple yet I never thought about asking that before . Im bi and Beginning to feel that I am in a category of my own and on the only one there , so I don’t have much of a dating life at all that said I’m so far in the closet my family my friends no one would ever understand, so it will remain that way and I will take it to my grave , but I’ve had this conversation With my Bible thumping family and they believe it is a choice and I wish I would’ve thought of this question at the time. I would love to see the looks on their ridiculous faces and love to hear those answers , . excellent job a4a .. I wish you all the best and wish you much success in this Website and all other endeavors From the bottom of my heart thank you- me

  16. George

    Really good video! I was born this way, but only chose to come out 2 years ago. Glad i did. I am now able to live my life to the fullest. Thanks A4A!

  17. Darrell

    Choice….. trust me I believe if being gay were a choice, the majority of us would choose something different. As far as environment goes I can attest that I grew up in a family that believed homosexuality to be the ultimate sin. Through me being who I am and teaching these type of people that I am no different than them, they have learned to accept me, and my partner for who we are. I too love the light bulb that goes on in peoples head when the question is asked… When did you choose to be straight? I have asked straight friends this very question, obviously it is worth asking….. sorry I went on.

  18. hunter0500

    There’s a whole buncha stuff we don’t agree on … not this one.

    Finally, maybe gays, homos, flames, faries, faggots, etc. have THE question to ask Hardcore Heteros “if gays choose to be gay, tell us about when you chose to be hetero?”

  19. Sean

    Perfectly fine born homosexual, technically a virgin being I never had sex with a female, and I don’t desire too …would like to try a MMF Scene but I don’t know if I’d be able to get it up I’m just that gay.

  20. James

    This doesn’t prove anything. It is oversimplified. Being straight or gay isn’t a choice so much as it is a predisposition one way or the other…a predisposition, in my opinion, that is highly influenced by certain facets in an individual’s life. I don’t believe there is a genetic factor so the idea of being “born gay” isn’t possible. I am a bi individual and as such I am not biased one way or the other (how can I be?) I did a research paper on this very issue (nature vs. nurture) in college for my Phsychology class and interviewed both straight and openly gay individuals with a specific set of questions regarding upbringing, relationships with parents, siblings, peers, and extended family and friends of the family. Grant it, this was not an extensive study and was limited by my geographical area, but based on the answers received, 100% of the time there was, in my opinion, a possible trigger to change the natural biological path of the individual. I expect I will get a huge backlash from this posting particularly from the gay community, and that is okay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am just pointing out that we live in a VERY imperfect world with lots of unpleasant situations that can sway us in a very impressionable point in our lives. Even such a simple thing as natural curiousity about our own and other’s bodies can have a huge impact on how we “choose” (using the videoer’s words) to conduct ourselves in life. People, if you really give this post a serious ounce of consideration, you will realize that everything that molds us as human beings is nurture…it doesn’t just have to be about sexual preference. You come into this world with a clean slate and blank mind. What is put into that mind is what makes us who we are!

  21. James

    PS> I forgot to mention one other thing…in the 80’s and 90’s it was worse to be a bisexual than straight or gay. I got it from both sides….gays saying I just hadn’t been with the right guy, and straights saying I was just a gay man hiding in the closet. I did choose at some point to stay in the middle. I am not saying this about all people. I just want all of you to understand that not too long ago (I like to call it the days of AOL), I wasn’t readily accepted by either side. Think it was tough then to be gay?? Try being bi back then. I didn’t fit in anyone’s social circles. Oh, and I got an A++ on my paper!

  22. Nyc8x5

    While in a diversity seminar at work some 15 years ago, I asked this very question when the subject of sexual orientation came up. A co-worker in the group made a statement about “choosing” such a lifestyle. She was unable to respond when I asked the question. It has been my “go to” question ever since.

  23. Rick

    What is amazing to me about the subject is that there are men out there in the world who are under the belief that their religion will keep them from being who they really are and engaging in life as a gay man.

  24. BearOKC69

    Sorry but I don’t feel that someone is born straight or gay. It largely depends on what your first sexual experience. I guess you could say I was molested by a couple of years older neighborhood boys / friends that trained me into same sex and it stuck was in 3rd grade?

  25. BearOKC69

    someone asked why would someone choose to be gay and a harder life? many make choices throughout their lives that end up being the hard road and they know it. I dont see this any differently.

  26. Scarpien

    Whenever I hear straight people saying that gays choose to be gay I always asked them that question. But not before disclosing the fact that I choose to be gay only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. That remark would usually get a chuckle out of them and then like clockwork the light bulb would turn on in their heads. LOL

  27. Scarpien

    To add to my comment, sometimes I’d ask them what was so special about me that I got to choose and they didn’t.

  28. David W. Bradburn

    In the mid 90’s, I was part of a gay and lesbian task force which was an Episcopal church outreach by our local diocese. I was on the speakers bureau which went to churches to help educate folks on being gay within the Christian setting. This issue always came up and I would address those folks who thought we choose our sexuality to consider this scenario. If gay people were in the majority status of human expression and we were deemed the normal ones just by majority numbers would it be possible for you as a straight individual to go and sit with a psychiatrist in hopes that with good counseling you could be turned gay? Our do you think you could just pray your heterosexuality away and miraculous become gay? No one ever thought this could be a possibility for them. So then I would state why do you think it would or should work for me then. It clearly opened eyes a bit more on the nature versus nurture question. And today the Episcopal Church is one of the more progressive churches when it comes to understanding human sexuality. Even allowing gay Priests to have partners in some diocesans. I also used humor with folks on speaking about when I knew I was gay. I told them on the day I was born and the good looking Dr. spanked me on my ass I did not cry but looked him in the eye and said, “Spank me again harder big man!” David W. Bradburn

  29. Gary

    I can imagine a lot of heterosexual people would dig-in their heels when asked this question and say “No, I like guys because I’m a GIRL. Girls like Guys and vice versa – end of discussion.” They have such a one-track mind of how the world should be that anything that exists outside of that must be wrong, immoral, or sick.

  30. Jug

    I was bisexual, and chose to exclusively date men when I found out I was HIV positive.
    I don’t find women to be as accepting in the relationship field about this, maybe because I don’t have much to offer a woman anymore, since I can’t have kids and everything.

  31. Rob

    It is a choice to some and for most might be in the genes. We all have the opportunity to make that decision when it becomes sexual. When asked- When did you choose to be straight? -The answer should have been – When I first became attracted to sex and I selected” my partner. So, yes it is a choice. I believe most straights,Bi,gay,trans all have a choice. What’s wrong with that-Nothing!!!

  32. Sean

    Eddie, I hope and pray that you eventually find the opportunity to live who you… I’m 48, been married since I was 20yrs old, with a bunch of kids… And all this time I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s a choice, and that part of me that I kept only to myself for all these years would finally dry up and go away. Until I finally realized the choice is really do I live as who I really am or as what everyone expects me to be. Through a serious of events recently I came out to my wife, finally making that realization that I can no longer live the lie. I know that the transition is going to be hell as we unwind all that we’ve built…But i have the confidence that I’m doing the right thing and that in doing so I’m going to be a better person, parent, brother, son, and ultimately a life long specially bonded friend to the woman who’s been my wife and us the mother of my children. There is no going back, I accept who I really am, and who I really am was not a choice.

  33. J

    I believe the whole concept of “choosing” to be gay came about from parents who didn’t want to come to conclusion that they produced an “inferior” child. If they claimed their child chose to be gay, it would absolve them of any negative ideas about their own gene pool.

    The whole thing is genetic. Witness the offspring of gay men–they’re almost:
    1) all females or
    2) female first (in the case of a mixed group).

    I believe that the sperm of gay men most likely carry the X or female chromosome. Sure, there are exceptions, but look around. You’ll find that the gender of offspring of gay males is grossly skewed towards females.

  34. Clyde

    Really good video. The “light bulb” moment the majority of the respondents had is both encouraging and frightening–encouraging because it show’s their ability to reasoned with and a willingness to think differently, frightening because it’s just such an obvious point to be made that you would think no one would have to be asked “When did you decide to be straight?” In either event, it’s nice to see that there is a discussion about it. There are minds maybe changing. And hopefully we’re further on the long and slow path toward understanding and respecting one another.

  35. Jeffery Armami

    As a gay male With an open mind I have to try to understand the other side of is it a choice or are we born that way well let’s just start by saying I do lots of work on ones self and study genetics and work as a counselor which deals with the mind . Everybody has a choice in life nobody besides a young adult who has to do what there parents says , but we all make our own choices threw out the day I’m gonna do this or that go there or there eat this our that we as people have to understand everything is a choice to live is a choice at any min we can kill ourself if we didn’t want to be here that’s our choice once people own that fact that everything is a choice we can move towards making right choices now as for chosseing to be gay every GAY guy had that moment in there child hood where they try the other sex with a bestfriebd brother cousin whatever maybe without even trying anything else and maybe something happen and you enjoy but u knew that’s gay and it’s wrong so you try to bury it in your mind but you then Carry the thoughts until you can’t take it and act on those thoughts until the day you decide this is who I am and this is how it’s going to be that was a choice when u came out that’s a choice

    Example to I love gay girls but I love dick and never understood how girls would be gay lol but in many cases not all girls go threw so much bulshit with guys the choose to deal with girls not because there born gay because they had enough of guys

    Lastly the gory hole all my gay friends say every guys gay haha which may or may not be true but those porn sites have made it there job to embrace the fact guys suck better dick and if you put a st8 guy behide a glory hole and he thought it was a girl and he got off and loved it does it make him gay ? For those who said yes now what if a gay guys behide a glory hole and a girl sucks his dick and he likes it and get off is he st8??

    Gay people are put into placement of how they should act talk dress and behave once a guy decides to be gay his voice changes he dresses different he behaves different thinks different and begin to do different things in which those are all choices . No one has that annoying gay voice you have to create a different

  36. Jeffery Armami

    Person your changing yourself to fit the gay profile and not all guy are like that but many are

    If I don’t have you thinking by now and you still need prof google epi gentics , there isn’t a gay gene and if there was this new scientist proves we have power over our genes and we can turn on and turn off genes for example if my moms a drunk I’m a drunk which isn’t true that child has a choice to follow her or his mom or lead Is own path if there is a gay gene we have the power to turn that off I’m sure everyone thought about the other sec but not everyone acts on it like we did as gay people and just to clear things up I’m not downing being gay I’m downing the label the label change us to think we have to act be dress behave a certain way when we don’t we choose to there Is lots of things you can’t change we can’t change the world but we can always change our self if anyone wants to talk and take it deeper my profile on Adam I’d MrArmaniX and my face book is JefferyArmani will be glad to talk

    And yes I l

  37. Jeffery Armami

    And yes I love dick love sex with guys open about what I like but that’s my choice I know that lol 😉

  38. Jeffery Armami

    Oh yeah and for that question that we all love did you chose to be st8 they all gag lol that’s because they didn’t chose it there mom and dad did parents chose most of our life as kids I played toms of sports because of my mom not because I wanted to our parents lay out our lifes before were born they tell us where were going to school what we eating what were wearing etc we so they st8 because of a choice but not s choice by them by there mom and or dad and you that’s a silly question when if there wasn’t st8 people Dave your gay ass wouldn’t be making this video haha I mean that in a good way man but we do need to produce kids and shit like that and that is a job by a man and a women 😉

  39. Robert

    Great question from the interviewer. Notice how many changed their minds when they were asked when they CHOSE to be straight? I’m sure those of us that were bullied, beaten, verbally abused thought this is the life I want to lead being gay – so much fun! I knew when I was 8 that I was different but just didn’t know what it was. I am proud to say that I’m gay, if anyone else doesn’t like it, tough.

  40. manny

    In my case it is hard to tell. I liked both men and women when I was younger and even got married twice. At the end I chose men over women and have no regrets.

  41. ajbbincubus

    When did I choose to be gay? LOL!! This is a joke right? No.. really is it a joke? I always knew I was gay since I was little. Felt my self more attracted to guys at a very young age, but was so scared and ashamed of it. Barely come out when I turned 30 and it feels great. No more secrets or no more pretending to be someone else. I am just me, the way I wast to be.

  42. jockn2cbt

    I know that I was aware of my sexuality at age 4. My first sexual memory I guess was noticing my then 27yo dad’s big hairy cock while he was toweling off and comparing it to my own, I still think Freud is valid. I learned to shut up about my feelings later the same year when I was in the care of family friends while my mom was in the hospital having my little brother and their daughter and I were casually talking about marriage and I matter-of-factly said that I was marrying a boy when I grew up. The old German post-war bride came down on me like a ton of bricks, her reaction really shocked me and I learned an early lesson. I remember being really pissed that my sister’s Ken dolls weren’t anatomically correct. I also played a lot of “Doctor” for lack of a better term up in my tree fort with all the neighborhood boys. How does an nine year old boy know he likes a stiff dick rubbing up and down his crack, if not nature?

  43. tyler_durdenj

    When did I chose to be gay? Well I’m a believer that as we grow, we develop a purpose for ourselves. NO GENE has been found to link homosexuality with birth…so I look at the basis of this conflict. “Love”, marriage, and sex. Love you chose to love a person based on what you want..which you choose. You choose to marry based on wanting to start a family, and have a legal presence. In sex..well maybe you don’t choose to like it in the butt, but you certainly choose who you have sex with (in a consensual arrangement). All homosexuality is, is man o man action. Most of you decided a man better suited where you’re going in life at an early age. Maybe you found men to be more energetic, or to be more well off. Idk. But you chose that. Then by nurture you decided if you prefer black, white, hairy, buff, skinny, smooth…its more nurture than we think it is. The question is, DOES IT MATTER?

  44. tyler_durdenj

    And its interesting (and maybe a little disturbing) that all of you have been so sexual since you were 4 or before. I had puppy crushes on a couple girls cause they were pretty. Everybody thought so. I turned 12 and had my first talk about sex then. I didn’t realize the girls were trying to initiate. that’s when I started looking into everything. Apparently I can have sex with girls when I’m drunk, but sober I can’t stay up. Why? Not sure. Idk if I’m even counted as bi. My point is that this isn’t as clean cut as being “born this way”

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