how far

Gay Stuff : How Far Will You Travel For A Guy?

how far

So you’ve met someone on adam4adam and you are getting down to meeting up.  You live 30 minutes from the center of it all.  You tell Mr. Tonight and he says it’s too far.  Too far?  How far is too far for sex?

In some instances, travel time would take longer than the actual deed but who’s to say you aren’t passing on meeting a really great guy?  It also depends on the time of day, I won’t travel if it’s late at night but during the day I might stop off for a quick blow and go and then get some groceries.

I get that men would like you to be 5 minutes away, do their business in 10 minutes and head home for a cuddle with the boyfriend.   That’s great but in reality it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes you have to travel to get the goods. 

I recently met a guy who is in a long distance relationship. His partner, who he recently started dating, lives in Germany and this guy thinks 30 minutes is too far, really?  The most common response I get when telling people where I live is:  “that’s kind of far but if you are over this way lets hook up”.  Ok, so, it’s ok for me to travel to them but not ok for them to travel to me?  Wow, delete.

So, how far are you willing to go? 

Thoughts?  Comments?

g skorich aka eastvalleyoral

There are 116 comments

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  1. Learningbear

    It varies on situation and time of course, but is say 30 min is probably my general maximum. Again, exceptions can always be made

  2. Dlazbtm

    30 mins is reasonable.. It depends how hot is the guy is, me and my bf met here in a4a and didn’t know that we were neighbors, it’s accessible for us to fuck cause we’re only few blocks away and we fuck anytime we want.

  3. Kyle

    i understand completely, i live like 30+ mins away from people or the bigger towns and people always tell me im to far but if u come out here we can do something. after 4 years of dealing with that BS i finaly said if u wanna do something then come here why should i always have to travel waist my gas when you can do the same thing. they got pissed off and told me to fuck off, but how i see it if you like them or really want to hang out then make the efferent its the thought that counts and can always score you brownie points in the long run

  4. FreeRangeRadical

    I used city dwell – Seoul, Munich, Atlanta, Portland – but now I live in the Southern Nantahala Wilderness in northeast Georgia. And I love it.

    I used to say, when I lived in the city, 20 minutes was far enough to have to drive for sex. Now I say 20 miles, and generally out here that works out about the same, but this part of the Southern Appalachians is VERY rural and sparsely populated, so sometimes 20 gets stretched to 45, but that’s about it, and only then if I think he’s really, really worth it.

    I guess it’s all relative to where you reside and whether you think about distance in terms of time, or in terms of miles. (Or inches!!) ;)~

  5. jockn2cbt

    I live in a small rural town in a predominantly rural state and I have nothing but contempt for big city guys that put posts out saying that they won’t cross a bridge or travel ten miles to the other side of town for a hook-up. I’ve driven multiple times 80 miles or better for no-shows, guys that tell me “oh yeah, that pic was A)ten years ago or B)forty pounds ago”. One night I rushed over to a neighboring town on a really dangerous curvy mountain road, killing a poor skunk on one of the turns, only to get involved in “Coyote sex” situation, one cute “slave” type guy tied up and blindfolded, aka, “the bait” and a very scary married couple, and small children sleeping in the house to boot. Big city boys are whiny punks.

  6. Jim

    I traveled over 40 minutes each time I went to see this guy. Turns out great. We now have lived together for three years. Sometimes a distance hookup will turn into something great.

  7. AJ

    I think it largely depends on where you live. If you live in a city where there are painfully few (or in Tucson’s case, ONE) major roadway (highway/freeway/etc), then a guy saying he’s “X” miles away really might take a lot longer than a place with tons of cross-area roadways. I know anymore I have to consider that someone more than 5 miles away — especially toward the East or South East — it’s going to take upwards of 30 minutes or more (there’s tons of construction). Where I used to live, 5 miles was MAYBE 5-7 minutes.

    I want to move. 😛

  8. closedcloseted

    For hookups I’d rather not travel. But if it seems a little more serious, say a date, I’d be willing to travel even if it’s out of my town. Of course, he too should be willing to do the same.

  9. Eric

    Well, 30 minutes is the max that I will travel for sex. And I will only travel those 30 minutes if I’m already planning to be in the area. I’ve met guys who wanted me to travel an hour, two hours, three hours and even more than that to hook up with them. No way in hell.
    Also, I’ve met guys who told me that I live too far, but if I gave them gas money then they will come to my place. WTF?
    You want me to put gas in YOUR car? It’s YOUR car, not mine.
    If I decide to travel to met a guy, then I will never ask him for gas money.
    Again, no way in hell. I told them to stay their asses at home. I’ll find another guy to hook up with or just beat off.

  10. TDG

    Yes, I prefer traveling because the gay men who live around me are usually the DL, closeted, probably have a pregnant girlfriend types aka not my fancy in the slightest. I don’t mind traveling abour 30-60mins away. But it depends really. I had a friend who traveled a good minute to meet up with a guy and that guy looked absolutely nothing like the man he was advertising himself as; thus, a huge waste of gas.

    If it’s a distance, I usually have the guy retrieve me (that way I can write down his license plate # and car type/model for precaution) and offer him gas fair if necessary (they usually don’t mind as they just wanna meet up regardless of who has to come where).

    I like meeting guys out of my area because I’ve not found an interesting guy in this area. And I loathe this area; why invite someone to a setting that is potentially depressing? That’s neither here nor there in this particular case, however.

  11. Alex

    I would travel if its not far.. It also depends if they look like what u see in the profile.. Also after an intense talk about hooking up you be so horned up that by the time you drive 30 mins it will go away then if you do get there it only last 10-20 mins.. Now if the other person is helpful pinches in for gas I don’t mind traveling or we can meet have way….

  12. Marc

    I was in a mid-sized city last week for work. It was late — after midnight and raining — and a young guy invited me over to suck his big cock . It was a half hour drive but the sight of that 9 incher and the feel of it down my throat and then have it cum in my ass was well worth the drive in the dark and rain.

  13. jay11969

    It depends. I had a great encounter in which the guy lived a couple hours away. But we became good friends and talked on the phone often so I didn’t mind the drive, plus I didn’t travel just for sex, I would plan it like a mini vacation and shop and do other things while there. Because of the games many on a4a play, I wouldn’t travel far just for sex or even to meet. I never travel to a guy’s spot on first meeting. After the first time, I will. This is just my preference.

  14. Daemon

    The distance one is willing to travel to get laid is proportionate to their equal hotness. IE, one would drive across country to have sex with Bradley Cooper, but if the guy is only a 5, in their opinion, then 5 minutes is all they will be willing to go. Too far away is just a polite way of saying “I really just think you are an average person and Im not really going to put forth any effort.”

  15. JP

    I’ve had a man travel 6 hrs from key west fl to meet me for 2 days. But the most I’ve traveled was an hr and 15 mins for sex and the most that a guy traveled for sex w me was 2 hrs and half. I think it depends on the guy u want to hookup w

  16. Steve

    30 miles is my Limit to drive.Late night hookups do not happen.I live in the PHX area so traffic is bad as a rule.So further then 30 miles can be a realy bad drive.

  17. Keith

    It depends on the distance and wherethere are not one of use as are car or the transportation to get there. Sometimes it does matter.

  18. DarSco

    My FAVORATE PYB lives in Jersey city & im downtown bk But we have a regular thing. 30 mins is far enough for a new POA

  19. wantamannow

    I dont travel at all for sex, nor do I pay for it,ever….If they want my services,, they must come to me.. I dont know what I would walk into by going to their place,, might be a couple guys and a confrontation when I get there. I know whats here and they come to me… Not saying that I never traveled for sex,,, I used to several years ago, but not today, too many crazies around….and druggies..I did travel one time for about 35 miles to meet a guy that lived alone, and he was exactly what I was looking for… wore lots of leather, boots, had a motorcycle, and more leather, and i was too naive to realize it at the time,, and by the time I did realize it,,, he had met someone else and left me behind… sorry day ….

  20. Carl

    I met my boyfriend right here on Adam4Adam last year about this time, I traveled 40 miles to meet him at his place, the drive took 45 minutes. I live 14 miles from my work, that commute takes 30 minutes.
    I’ve never really thought of myself as being attracted to a particular “type” guy but that night “WOW” everything was perfect, I didn’t sleep at all that night.
    Nearly every week since then either he or I travel to get together, often after work but also for the weekends. Although our careers keep us living separately in different towns neither of us think twice about driving 45 minutes to see each other how ever often we get together. Living in central Florida we both live in pretty exciting places, I actually feel really lucky to have 2 happening cities that I can call stomping grounds.

  21. Rob

    I met someone online who was in New Zealand. He claims that I got the ticket after only a few days of chatting. I have a lifelong friend with a condo there that he had offered many times. So I went for it. The Kiwi worked out oh so well. We are now partners and plan to marry as soon as DOMA is struck down.

  22. jedwards128

    I am kind of that way…I actually moved to a larger town so I wouldn’t have to drive so far. if it is over 30 minutes than I say it is pay for play and charge for my hour with them….massage+++. life it too short to be on the road hours on end….I “long distance” relationships. Knowing that probably 99% neither one is going to relocate to the other hot man’s home!

  23. CM

    I do not go out of my way to travel for a meet up especially if its more than 20 min. 40 min round trip for a bj no way, they can come to me if they need it that bad

  24. michael love

    wow thats a great question..Im always meeting guys on a4a show them your junk they drowl and want it and then its always ” To Far “… well I hve honestly drove 100 miles for a good blo and go and have met some great future cock suckers … and made several good friends out of that first meeting …So hey you get what u put out …afterall you are worth it my friends…..

  25. zaq

    30 min travel time is my limit unless it’s someone that I’ve been chatting with for an extended time. In that circumstance, I would ask if I could stay over night. I won’t meet that potential friend on just an hour of sex after all.

  26. outdoorman

    Maybe an hour and a half drive or so. I have tried to hook up with a fellow about this distance several times, but he kept standing me up, so I gave up on him. But had we met and had it been good, I would have not minded doing this at all.

  27. Shadow

    The farthest distance I have travel for a guy was France. Even though we did not work out. I did get to visit, go to school and learn French (little). It was a win in that aspect.

    Je n’ai aucun regret, mais peut-être pas aller jusque-là à nouveau pour un gars … Merci pour la lecture.

  28. Relims

    I get this a lot to. but it seems that most people don’t want to travel more than 20 min to get anywhere. But, the people that are within the time frame of travel, lets face it, generally are not who you want to mess with. I also hate the ones who say its to far but expect me to come to them, instant ignore. Though i prefer to travel a little farther away. I don’t like hooking up with people in my immediate area. They are people that you have more of a chance running into at the grocery store or local bar. Avoid the awkward moment of having to tell them it was not that good. As the old saying goes, “don’t shit where you sleep!”


    Some guys just want the world to fall into their lap. I want $50,000, but am I expecting it to fall into my lap? No! You have to work for it. You could be missing out on a lifetime partner. I know the excuses as to not wanting to travel… “traffic”, “I just got drunk”, “gas prices”, etc. Well, if you’re not willing to put in the effort then you shouldn’t be on this website. Go jackoff or something. I think especially if you’re a top you should take initiative and travel to your bitch.

  30. Argonaut

    Once I got a response from a guy who was 40 mins away: “too far for a hookup, too close for a relationship”.. I personally wouldn’t mind going to another city if we both good match for an LTR. But for a hookup, distance matters.

  31. DoninFtMyers

    Used to travel 125 miles to spend a night with a fuck bud at a bathhouse. We would check in and hole up in our little room for the night.


    Ive known to travel 175 miles for a chance of mr right. prefer now to host n cut the bs not into random sex ive got a hand n toys for that. now want the great guy to have it all with great sex, fun times n someone who enjoys laughing n living life.

  33. Bill

    I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten that same line about being to far away. They won’t travel to me but expect me to travel to them.. Well guys, if it’s to far for you then it’s to far for me too.

  34. Carlos

    How to decide wether to travel or not:
    1. How hot are they?(avg joe = no)
    2. Am I gonna get what I want? (a top if I want to btm or a btm if I want to top)
    3. Where are they hosting? (Bad neighborhood = no)
    4. Length of hook up? (5 min or less = no)
    5. Parking situation (no parking or far away parking = no)
    6. Weather? (rain or bad fog = no)
    7. Time of day? (after 10pm = no)
    8. Housing situation? (living with parents, lots of roomies = no)
    9. Distance from me? (15 min driving or more = no)
    10. STD/HIV- (anything goes, poz n unsafe, cum dumps = no)

  35. Chris

    Ive been in my 2.2 million pop town and live in the center of the gay community. I love sex. Id travel 2.5 hours. The guys are hotter sometimes than the ones in the gayberhood. Plus i feel like i have slept with most of the long termers in the hood. Its the newbies that i look for online.

  36. Tic-Toc

    Yeah … people have varying definitions of the word “far.” I, personally, feel like travel time shouldn’t exceed the time spent at the destination for any situation whatsoever. So, in the sense of this particular argument, I won’t go much farther than 20 or so minutes … especially if this is my first meeting with them.

  37. thad

    I have driven an hour to suck cock and have never regretted any long trip to get cock . Love the anticipation of the drive, wondering how big it will be, how thick, how much cum will spurt in my mouth.

  38. Jake

    I travel a couple hrs if he is really hot. I want discreet so it helps with that. A 3 some makes it even more wortwhile but the least they could do is host…I assume nobody would travel very far to me qs I live in q more rural area and there are no gay bars here and they feel they have more options in more populated areas for hookups.

  39. Mike

    Back in the day I would drive 30 minutes because I was horny, young and desperate. Now 24 I know better if they aren’t in the same town I tell them no or have them come to my place. If it’s good I’ll be nice and go to there place the next time we hook up. Also young guys don’t become a taxi if the guy can’t host or travel tell them to fuck off lol have some self respect.

  40. Brandon

    I suppose it would depend on a.) what you expect when you get there b.) the level of inconvenience it poses and c.) the level of difficulty you experience getting laid in your own zip code. Living in Alaska, it’s not unheard of for people to arrange weekend getaways to the next closest city (Fairbanks to Anchorage is 6 hours drive, if the roads are clear and traffic is low.) and usually make ‘arrangements’ beforehand either on this website or craigslist. If you’re just trolling for a quick BJ, sure, closer is better. If you’re expecting the pounding of your life from a Jeff Stryker look-alike? 30 miles suddenly doesn’t sound so demanding. I do think the distance range for relationships gets extended quite a bit as most guys who are actually looking for love don’t mind a bit of a drive to find it. Sex, on the other hand, is something (most) gay men have no trouble finding. So it doesn’t surprise me that your friend would date someone in Germany, but screw guys 10 minutes away or less. One is a search for a lasting bond, and the other is just an itch that needs scratching.

  41. 69sexplus

    I met a guy on this site who lives over 7 hours away from me. I met him and he turned out to not only being the guy with a massive thick cock, but an incredible host! I have made several trips to see him since then because the sex was so intense and he can fuck for hours on end that usually starts on a wed. Or thursday and we go at it until the following Monday, all day and night! By Monday I am so raw and worn out it usually gets me by for several months before I plan another trip to visit him, not to mention it takes that long for my ass to heal up!lol

  42. BrotherCA

    There is no set answer. A great deal depends on the particular situation. Here are just SOME of the angles:
    1) A “long distance” contact can be enjoyable and rewarding on a one-time basis–i.e. someone from out of town visiting or if your wallet, time, and effort is in good supply so that driving 50 miles or so (one way)doesn’t feel like a hurculean effort.
    2) It’s the same distance from me to you as it is from you to me. If there is some distance involved the travel should be equitably shared. Same goes for interest and attraction…balance and equity is important.
    3) An ongoing series of contacts (outside of co-habiting) has the best chance of working if geography isn’t an issue.
    4) The flush of NRE (New Relationship Euphoria) may carry a long-distance contact for a few times, but geographical inconvenience is very difficult to impossible to really resolve.

  43. Mike

    The most I have traveled is 2 1/2 hours, but that was disappointing. I have met some awesome guys many times though driving a little over an hour, close to an hour and a half.

  44. BearOKC69

    The time element is what gets me. Even today a guy said that he couldn’t because of something the next day. Then proceeded to email chatted back and forth for over 2 hrs!

    On the other hand sometimes it is too far for yourself right then. If there is prep time, travel time, play time, return travel time. It all adds up. However if he is in the neighborhood already…different story

  45. Fritzzz

    Call me old fashioned, but if someone wants to meet me, then they come to me. Likewise, if I want to meet someone, I offer to travel to them. It’s common courtesy, if you ask me. I’d never click on someone who’s 30 mins away from me and ask them to come meet me. To me, that’s extremely inconsiderate. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a hookup or a date. I just think whoever initiates the contact has an obligation to make the first move.
    It’s no different than if you were at a bar. You see someone across the room, and make eye contact. Do you expect them to walk over to you, or do you go to them? To me, expecting them to come to you is rather concited.

  46. InOverMyHead

    How Far? It depends on practical considerations –
    What day & time is it?
    How much time available to play? Hour or weekend?
    Weather & construction affecting road conditions?
    So far, about 30 minutes is maximum travel time.
    Would consider farther for a weekend event.

  47. JC

    It sounds to me like you have your priorities all screwed up. If you’re the sort who’s always looking for a quick “blow and go” and you don’t want people to balk at the distance to your place, then you need to live where the action is- that’s why all of those other guys live there, duh. If you want to be meeting a really great guy, perhaps cruising a4a for a hookup isn’t the best way to go about it- if you ask someone out to dinner, then you’re both having to travel to a neutral location and the distance to either of your places is irrelevant. After dinner if he agrees with your self-assessment of your own greatness, you’ll probably find that the distance to your place is somewhat irrelevant to him. And as to the guy with the boyfriend in Germany? Um, get yourself some self-respect, dude. Chasing after guys in open relationships is a recipe for disaster any way you slice it. It’s perfectly understandable that 30 minutes’ travel time is too far for him because in his mind going to that much effort in order to screw someone who’s not his boyfriend seems a bit like cheating- if it’s just a spontaneous convenient blowjob from some guy who lives down the block, then it’s easy to forget about it as quickly as it happened. And yes, you’re absolutely right about the guys who won’t travel to you but expect you to travel to them- delete away. But what they’re thinking is that it’s just as gauche of you to expect anyone to be willing to travel out to you when the majority of the action is in one nice central location.

    Having said all of this, I happen to live about 30 minutes by subway or 15 minutes by cab from the trendy gay parts of town, and people frequently give me the “oh that’s too far” line. Funny thing is, they’re willing to travel to other areas that are closer as the crow flies but take just as long if not longer to get to. And invariably when I offer to travel to them, they can’t host and I see them online for hours looking for someone closer when they could’ve just hopped on the subway and been having fun already. But they’re also afraid to come up here because it’s the “ghetto,” which is ridiculous on its face because there’s a much higher incidence of muggings and assaults down in the “nice” parts of town than there are up here. Basically those princesses are too precious to come up here, and the distance makes for a nice filter to weed out all the malignant narcissists (who unsurprisingly constitute an alarming majority of the gay men in this city).

  48. Miguel Lamariko

    Read, heard the story and know it all so well. Have been on adam for 7 years now. Normally, I browse, may hit up a guy if I think he’s hot, real, decent and worth the drive time. As stated here, most think an hour, maybe less is too far. If you’re willing to travel to them, wtf? On another note, you meet some guys, that always want you to travel to them and they won’t come to you, some will make up excuses if they don’t think you’ll hot enough for them to drive to your place. If I meet a guy, hit him up we chat for a while, set up something concrete, meet that’s fine I don’t mind that. Most times, I’ll shop, stop off catch a breeze instead of just driving for a 10-15 session and it’s over. Try to make the best out of the trip that I possibly can. Then, it depends on how horny you are, 30 minutes isn’t or hasn’t been bad for the travel when you meet a nice guy, he holds you in that bedroom for bout an hour, really hot. Then, you’re ready to go home after the drive 🙂 It can vary in each situation.

  49. John

    Well, I’ve met a pretty special guy who lives about 3 hours from me! I’ve been to visit him twice already and have another trip planned in about a week. Guess it all depends on your priorities, doesn’t it? Of course, this relationship isn’t just a “booty call!” As long as he’s still interested in me I’ll make that drive!

  50. Steven

    I’m not traveling out of my way to play with someone, and I don’t expect a guy to travel out of his way to meet me. It just doesn’t make sense to me in economical terms (meaning time, gas, and wondering whether the act would be worth the expenditure of both).

  51. Hunter0500

    If the guy and I have chatted a lot, have exchanged pictures, and there’s a connection, a distance of 60 minutes wouldn’t be an issue because there’d be little chance of any ugly surprises.

  52. G90814

    It’s all about what the meeting is for, I think.

    A hookup isn’t gonna happen if you’re more than 10-15 minutes apart, at best, unless you REALLY want to meet, and/or one of you is trying to keep it NON-local.

    If it’s more of a date, then you’ll find guys will travel a bit further.

    It’s a ‘quality of time vs distance’ equation.

  53. dllindsey12

    true…sex knows no boundaries. but then you have those who cancel on you at the last minute. had a guy come see me one day only to drive off saying he was “going around the corner” never came back and when i finally got in touch with him after a week…he told me im not his type. didnt realize sex had a type.

  54. Alex (Navy_EMS_MD)

    Full Disclosure: I live in Washington Metro Area (DC), if this person is on my route to and from work via Metro transit or is about 15 mins away (10-15 miles) Then its ON!

    However I would not travel:
    Frederick, MD 26.0 mi – about 39 mins (outside 30 min rule)
    Gaithersburg, MD 16.8 mi – about 23 mins (outside 15 Mile rule)

    and if there is no known transit system out there to gauge distance I will stay away.

  55. 21stCenturyBoy

    The dichotomy is that if you’re too close, guys tend to get too nervous to ever meet. I take “Oh, you’re kind of far from me” as a cowardly “Not interested really” and leave it at that.

  56. Danny

    If the only part of the conversation is about hooking up then traveling more than 15 minutes is out of the question.

    If I feel that their is some good chemistry that could happen from it and the guy isn’t a total sleaze ball, than I’d consider someone further away.

    For me, I’m the hook up type that doesn’t need sex that bad so I’ll wait for someone cute and close. Or else it’s rare I’d leave my house just to fuck around one time.

  57. Nozzelhead

    Dam I travel all the time 2-3 hours on the good Texas roads is well worth it. I have met some wonderful men with great ass and cocks. Distance is relative to how horny one might be.

  58. Nathan

    Distance is an issue for me. Less than 8 miles is ideal. I’ve travel out about an hour before and turn around after 10 mins and it wasn’t any worth it.

    If someone is more than 10 miles I would like to meet half way, grab a drink and then we decide.

  59. christopher

    I travelled 1 & 1/2 hours to meet a guy.It was wonderful sex and was worth the 2 bridge tolls I paid to get there.

  60. sean b

    well i didnt meet him on adam4adam… but for the right guy.. id go across the country just to meet him. :-p of course i should mention we have been talking for almost 9 yrs now :-p

  61. eastvalleyoral

    great comments and great insight. it seems guys are willing to travel if they have met the guy before over first encounter. I flew 500 miles for a hook up and it was a great experience, that’s another story!! take care

  62. ajbbincubus

    I live in L.A. A 10 mile radius is my limit causes traffic here sucks so bad. But like everyone else mentioned.. Exceptions can be made once in a while.

  63. Christopher (paid supporter of A4A)

    Interesting answers/comments here.

    So, you’re on A4A and chatted someone up looking at a postage size picture and reading the MOST eloquent profile in the world.

    You drive “X” distance/time and find out that the person is NOTHING that is described online. THEN WHAT?

    Do you walk away?
    Get pissed that they wasted your time and gas?
    Go home and post a derogatory dis about them?

    Guys can’t score in a bar and they think ONLINE is going to be better?

    I don’t know how most feel about ‘guys misrepresenting themselves”, but when I see pictures with date stamps on them from *******1997*********, is that individual STILL going to look like he did in “1997”? Yeah, that’s a very valid point that I’ve not seen commented about on here.

  64. Mike

    I’ll echo what a lot of others are saying here–I used to live in the Washington, DC metro area where there were a lot of guys to choose from within about a 20-30 minute drive–which was usually my limit for just a hook-up. If more was going on, we’d usually meet somewhere amenable for the both of us.

    Now I live in the middle of Long Island, NY about an hour away from New York City. The men close to me are either too old, and/or married. The young guys don’t have cars, and can’t host. I’m still a bit stubborn with keeping to my 20-30 minute rule for hookups though. I’ve tried meeting guys in New York City, but they’ve all been kind of awkward.

    I need to move.

  65. ric

    VERY simple. Just explain that if they need travel, you will take them out for a drink, lunch or dinner. A matter of etiquette (what’s that???)

  66. JR

    Love this topic. I Want you to do one about no shows my pet peeve? I Live outside a large city about 20 miles and I have less problems getting guys to come from the city than the ones that live close to me. I still have a guy that is only 7 miles from my home and he can’t host, but will not come to me. Says it is too far. I have had men drive over 100 miles to see me. I have driven over 60 miles myself. I like to play at night and don’t mind a guy staying over. I have even had guys ask for gas money. Did not happen.

  67. sean b

    id be willing to travel across the country for the right guy. hahah actually plan on it too. tho i should mention .. i didnt meet him on a4a .. and we have been talking for 8 yrs.

  68. Jay

    It annoys me when a guy says…I don’t want too drive that far. Especially when they message me first looking to hook up, can’t host, and say they really want to hook up. Similarly when they say well lets just do something in your car. I live alone and have my own place. I don’t have or want to do anything in my car. I havent done anything in my car since high school. I have my location listed on my profile so dont message me if it is farther than you are willing to travel. I perfer to host but will travel as long as the person lives alone not with roomies, family, has to sneak me in, or do something in public.

  69. sven

    Once a guy invited me over at 3 a.m. and as I was horny as hell drove the 40 minutes to his place. Well worth the 10-inch black cock as thick as a beer can to fuck me.

  70. Taric25

    1)To be honest, it’s most important who contacted who. For example, if Mike, who lives in Boston, contacts John, who lives in Lowell, then Mike should be willing to travel to John. Mike read or at least should have read John’s profile and should know where Lowell is by just looking it up on Google Maps. Since Mike contacted John, he shouldn’t ask John to make a 45 minute drive to Boston. After all, Mike is the one who contacted John in the first place.

    2)Conversely, John knows he lives in a less populated area. He already knows that he will have to do most of the driving if and when he ever does get in a relationship with someone who lives in the city. City people have more people per square mile and therefore do not have to travel as far so John has no business contacting people in the city unless he plans to travel, every single time.

    We live in the 21st century. Use the internet if you don’t know where something is. I live in the suburbs and absolutely hate it when people hit me up and ask to meet, then ask me where I live. Really? If you could use the computer enough to sign on to a dating website, then you should know how to use Google, for goodness sake. I know that living in a less populated area makes it less likely that I will find someone, and I should be realistic about that expectation.

  71. hotFrank234

    I don’t mind going a hour and half to get a good blowjob or to get fucked in the ass or to pull a threesome which I love and have people come that far to see me for a blowjob to give and receive one

  72. goldenloverinmym

    it depends,i commute 50 miles a day each way by 50 miles is not a prob.have traveled 2-4 hours and got stood up,but agagin same distance had a great time and met a great friend 2 this day.DDDD

  73. Joey

    I live in NJ. One of the most annoying things about the new geolocation searches on all the sites now is that I’m so close to NYC that I get guys from Manhattan showing up in my searches, and there is no way to filter by state. For me, the distance isn’t the issue. But I’m not going to go meet a guy in the city. It’s a hassle I only do when I have to. If you drive in there is a big waste of a toll, plus traffic, plus trying to find parking in the city. If you park in a lot it’s extra money.

    City guys often wonder why I’m so uptight about coming in, so I ask them: “Oh, are you willing to come out to NJ to me.” Inevitably the answer is no. Well, I won’t come in to you for the same reason you won’t come out to me.

  74. Parker

    I travel a lot but there one guy id travel 3000 miles to see we arent dating but the marathon sex that follows a breif nap to recover from the trip is well worth it … 6 hour flight fir 4-9hours of the most mazing sex i’ve ever had… anyday

  75. Dharma

    I think this is what separates me from a lot of people on this site. If I was only in it for sex, as lots of guys seem to be, I say 30 minute drive max, and they would have to be uber cute and way worth, and even then we are starting with coffee and a drink and if that works maybe next time we can see where it goes.

    But for me, I’m in it for a relationship. I drove two hours too meet my BF. Almost 6 years later it was still the best risk I have ever taken.

  76. Dee

    Awhile back, I traveled about 35 minutes to a guy after having several conversations where I thought we had become very acquainted. I lived near the airport in L.A., and he lived in Van Nuys in the valley. Distance was an issue until I bit the bullet and went all the way to his place. All this nigga wanted to do is talk like we had never talked before, he didn’t have any furniture in his living room, and he had NO CONVERSATION skills, but didn’t want to do aything physical, not touch, not hug, not kiss, NOTHING. NEVER again will I drive the whole distance for a first meeting; too easy to be a waste. O the other hand, I’ve traveled all over L. A. county with this young cat I’m seein’ jus’ to have very intimate moments and some hot sex sessions. IT WAS WORTH IT!

  77. Enzo AKA SoCalTuffGuy

    I tend to have the same response to almost any question: “I don’t know, what’s he look like?” 🙂

  78. Mitch

    I once traveled 4:30 on back roads to boondocks KS but he was a cute Latino and I was supposed to stay a couple if days with him. I ended up leavening the next day cause his house was full of birds and their crap and he didn’t have any toiletries plus be didn’t speak English so there was no talking. It depends on how horny I am and if the boys is cute and a virgin gets an automatic 30-40 miles bonus bump.

  79. Dakan

    There was a guy from back home I met this year before heading off to my sophomore year of college, he lived about 30 minutes from me. When I started college again, I still saw him every weekend, despite the 2-2.5 hour drive each way for him, even if it was just for a day. Sometimes he made that drive twice on a weekend just to bring me back home with him. Now, it’s been 10 months, I’m back home for the summer, and we;re still going strong! I must be doing something right! And now he is my significant other. 🙂

  80. Lawrence

    Japan: distances are not that far, but travel times are. When you’re surrounded by a culture not your type, you don’t mind traveling those 2 hours or so.

  81. Dennis

    I once met a guy (travelling for a holiday) for a dinner.. And he’s now my boyfriend for more than a year. And the thing is I live in Asia, while he lives in Europe.. But he visits me every 3 months. How cool is that? 🙂

  82. Mike

    You just made me realize of one of the stupidest things I did. Few years back, when I was young and stupid I found myself hornier than hell during a backpacking trip to Italy, Florence to be precise. A4A didn’t seem to be that popular there, and CL had only a couple of postings from tourists that were not my type… My hostel was out of the question since it was a house where you had to ring a bell to be let in by Nona… And there were signs in the room on how “visitors” were not allowed in the rooms… Anyway, with my little Italian I figures a hookup site that is popular there and posted an ad. This guy replied and offered to pick me up and take me to his Villa outside the city for a hot encounter. We shared pics, he looked hot and he like how i looked so we met at a bar -first bad sign, he was older than the pic he sent- He was a nice guy and I was stupid and horny so we drove to his place… Dude it as a 45 minute trip on dark rural Tuscany at night!!! Thats when it hit me!!! WTF am I doing?!?! We got to his place and he wanted right away for me to fuck him raw. I was clear with him I didn’t do that… And then he spreads his ass and that thing looked like an open infected really bad wound, I swear it was purple, red and brown!!! And here I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, nobody knows I here, there is no public transportation!!! So I made out a little and jo really quick so that I could claim to be “done”. It was not more than 15 minutes from beginning to end. He was very pleasant and his house was a real villa,he drove me back to my hotel safe and sound and even sent an email afterwards thanking me… Who does that after a hook up?!? So the story turned out not too bad but I will never ever do that again. As far as I know I could be buried under some olive tree is Tuscany and on a list of missing Americans. Yikes!!!

  83. kevC

    i’ve travel from Hong Kong to USA few time, than USA to UK, to see the same guy…for few yr….i’ve travel 10times to see him…we broke up

  84. aravain

    Simple equation: if distance(miles) to travel>time(minutes) spent with partner then nope, not gonna travel.

    I’m kinda surprised to see so many say that 30 minutes/miles is ok for them. I would likely not go that far for most hookups. Dates and similar things? Sure. Hookups? No.

  85. Nicholas

    How far would u travel for me? sWaGdicK21 lol jk that’s me but i’m just playin lol
    i am kind of curious though inbox me with how far lol
    i’d travel 3 hours for a really hot guy probably lol

  86. Keith

    I live in sf where thousand of gays are living, even hundred gays are in my neighborhood, most of them are hot & sexy hunks.. So why even bother to travel out of town to just to fuck when I got dozen of locally hunks wanting to hook up with me daily? 😉

  87. BearOKC69

    When I was younger and at the back of the closet (in the doorway now…LOL) would rarely meet locally…too afraid of being found out…would often travel 200 miles to Dallas area for sex (they have bath houses and had used to have real porn store glory holes where you could get anon sex without worrying about vice-cops)

    Locally, been burned too many times going 20 to 30 miles to meet and either no shows, incorrect or incomplete address, etc. SO much gas and time wasted on something that didn’t happen. Can do that without leaving the apt…LOL So rarely do that now unless I am mega-horned.

  88. Coolguy2013

    Ok so umm I can’t really comment on this IV been all over the United States to have sex with this one guy and IV even left the country after him just to have sex so I guess for this guy I’d go to the end of times lol

  89. CG

    Furthest traveled was 3.5 hours to the coast of MS. Not worth it cause the guy was not the same one in his pics. I regularly have to travel 30-60 minutes just to get into an area that has guys wanting to play. Rarely does anyone come to me.

  90. TrizzyTroy

    Well I dnt host until/unless I get to know a guy. So I prefer to travel I’ve driven up to 2hrs for a date w/benefits. He n I had a great 7 month love affair n r still Flirty. Another love affair was 40 min.away n he was worth every FUCKIN mile literally. If dudes can give it up for 10 min in Parks n public restrooms I will damn sure hit the road for a man that knows his way around the bedroom. As a rule of thumb I prefer meeting in a public place to check the vibe. And will try to make it mutual for us both distance wise.

  91. Justin Taylor navysoccerboi7

    I’ll travel ~1hr for a guy, but not to hookup. My limit on travel time to hookup with a guy………..0 mins! “Aint nobody got time for sluts!”

  92. dancinsand

    Haha i travel over a hour drive every weekend to el paso but my standard is if you don’t have a pic that’s a no go but i really don’t mind driving i live in the middle of nowhere on a military base in new mexico so its like i have no choice but to drive

  93. Mike

    I’m ready to travel and did sometimes with trans Atlantic fly from Europe to LA and some of this fucking guys even didn’t meet in first day or just desperate. You guys which is only horny next 5 min and after jerking off and forgot with who you chat and invite for visiting some days should think about… And it’s expansive joke…

  94. Jay

    That’s the problem with me, I don’t drive and live far from the “big city” LA, Hollywood, West SFV, West LA, where are the hot dudes, most of the time guys wanna meet up but when I sent my location that’s what i get “too late for tonight” “too for for tonight maybe another time” “damn that’s too far”

  95. bi3to5insub

    Distance is not generally the limiting thing for me it is chemistry and how Dominant the guy is that drives me.

  96. john

    Normally I wouldn’t think up to an hour was too far. It seems when I offer to host anything more than 5 mins is too far. Yet I’ll see them post the same ad an hour later on cl “still looking”

    My biggest problem is people who are serious about meeting. When they say “come over” and I say “OK, address?” Half disappear right then. Almost all the rest start backtracking.

    If I’m lucky to get an address, most will back track as I’m on my way. When I host maybe 1 in 10 will actually show up when they are “on their way”

    I’m really disappointed in the lack of courtesy and actually treating someone else like a person even if its a hookup.

    I feel like such an idiot every time someone says “on my way” and I jump in the shower, shave, straighten the house up , and sit there waiting and they just drop off the planet.

  97. vafratboy

    maybe 10-15 minutes?

    Seriously, maybe I’ve had bad luck, but who has hook up sex that’s so fantastic that you’re willing to spend over an hour (round trip) on the road and have to fill half a tank of gas with gas prices where they are?

    If a guy wants to drive further than that to come to me, fine. If not, I understand because I’m certainly not going that far to get to him.

    I’ve had a guy who lived an hour away try to convince me to come pick him up, bring him to my place, then take him back home after. That’s 4 hours on the road. Half a day wasted for a fuck? No thanks.

  98. beau

    For the past 7 years i have taken an annual trip from Florida to Minnesota to spend a month with a guy I like. The relationship with him actually started almost 30 years ago and I have never gotten tired of his cock.

  99. Ernest

    I went adout and hour away from my house. I wanted to fuck him and he wouldn’t let me. He told me that he wanted to get to know me. I was so fucking pissed because gas was 3,90 and he wanted me to take him home at 2:00am in the morning. I had to be at work at 8:30am. I won’t go anywhere if I’m not getting me some ass. I tell guys now that you will get dick all night long so don’t call me if your not giving up that ass.

  100. sextech

    ok I don’t mind traveling a few miles for some hot action but some guy get down right ridiculous. Usually ifI have to travel over 10 miles I ask that my gas be replaced. but here’s a kicker, there is actually a guy here on adam that wants me to travel from North Carolina all the way to Paris France.

  101. Asher

    I’ve traveled 3+ hours for a hook up…mind you it turned into a weekend event and had lots of fun, but half way there I really started to regret the drive. Glad I went though.

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