A4A: What’s in a Profile?

Tall, short, skinny, fat, hung or not, there is someone for everyone! But as in all sales,  success in hooking up online is all about how you market the product – if you are on Adam4Adam and looking for love or a sexual encounter, you are the product and good marketing makes the difference!

Here are some helpful hints, following them can help you find exactly what you are looking for (and find who is looking for you!).

Before you fill out  (or make changes to) your profile it will be helpful if you have a clear idea of what you are looking for. Being versatile is great, but being unclear in your intentions in your profile, especial when you are not sure yourself,  is not good marketing and does not help you find what you really want or attract men that might be interested in you.

Start with a clear, catchy headline! Headlines like “Hey guys” or “Checking thing out” are not catchy and do not provide any useful information. They are not a good first impression. A headline like “Seeking fun and adventure” or “One of the good guys” says just enough to give an impression of who you are and to entice the reader.

Are you online for a NSA encounter? Then say that clearly and then focus your text on the physical traits that you want your sex partner to have. Be clear on what you want to do and the type of person you want to do it with.

Saying that you are looking for a hot man, or a good looking man, does not say much. Get specific and describe what a hot man is to you. Is he short, tall, a bear, a twink, athletic, dark, blonde, hairless…? Is he over 30, between 24-40? How important is his penis size? If it matters then say so, if it is unimportant then say that as well.

When you talk about what you want to do sexually get specific. Describing yourself as top, bottom or versatile is a start, but as a top do you also like to give head? As a bottom, do you also like to get a good blow job? Going beyond top, bottom, versatile and being very specific about exactly what you want to do sexually can ensure that you get what you are looking for.

Men are very visual making the pictures you post very important. If you are looking for a hook up then go for broke and show as much as you are comfortable showing online. If you are on the site for sex, then showing your dick and/or your ass lets members know that you are all about sex, having a face pic ready and locked will help you to finalize the session.

If you are looking for a romantic encounter or an LTR then you might want to show your face as your primary pic, and keep the rest of your pics PG-17 or R and reveal more in person. X-rated pics will get more hits, but if you are looking for romance or something more then a quick fuck, being discrete and going for quality over quantity is your goal so many quick ‘hits’ are not as helpful as accurate ‘hits’ from the right guys.

No matter what you are looking for, telling the truth about yourself and what you are looking for is always a winner. It does not take long to build a reputation online, liars and scammers are found out pretty quickly.

Whatever your goal online be sure to always be safe, for tips on how best to be safe online, check out our safety tips.



There are 25 comments

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  1. Name

    What’s the point….a site like this, they are all looking for a typical meathead “Jersey Shore” type guys. The motto is “If you’re cute, then you’re worth my time.”

  2. Joseph

    You cannot spend your time in a fish factory and come out smelling like a rose. What you fail to address in your article is that the whole adam4adam website is a hookup spot. You can put lipstick on the pig but its still a pig. It is interesting you talk about how important it is to be honest in your profile. But dont forget that works the same way for the website which also needs to be honest about what it is and what it is not.

  3. not quite sure

    as someone who uses A4A for relationships, and hook ups, i will say great things about both. I have my profile that states i am primarily looking to meet someone, but if some sex comes along, i am open. i am honest with the people that message me on whether i feel we are compatible as a couple, or for sex. just stay honest, if you want something, let someone knoe, and if you dont, well, everyone gets denied, no matter what you look like.

  4. lance

    I would also add that those guys who sound like little bitches with their lists of “if you…then don’t…” Or just a list of “no this” and “no that” hurt their chances too because they waste the limited space they have on being negative. Who wants someone like that? No matter how hot they are.

  5. Soft & Fluffy

    Great informative post. Out in my neck of the woods it seems that the nastier you are the luckier you get .. as long as you’re under 32.
    But my bestest pal swears it’s all about having pics as he’s 65 and turns them away .. even though his age is a little fudged.

    I’m just so tired of these guys who waste their entire profile space telling you how wonderful they are or ‘sex ,sex and more sex’ but they don’t say what their specs are in another guy .. i.e. Age , race or anything else. Then they ignore you because, presumably ,you haven’t met their ‘criteria’.

    As for me , I’ve fine tuned my profile at least three times since being here (28 months) to the point where it’s probably the most word specific profile in existance and all I get are smiles and hits from people who it seems are incapable of reading .

    Still , patiently looking to ‘hook up’ , but my optomism wains daily.

  6. Clay

    I hope everyone takes this post for serious. Also Break out some string and a ruler and measure your self. A lot of times the guys I talk to don’t know, and it is not always that they are hiding the truth.

  7. Romoni D'Aubigne

    This is an excellent blog post. Too bad it will fall on deaf ears. So many guys on here are so petty & vain. Vanity is one of the 7 deadly sins.

  8. G908414

    Right on Lance.

    Guys need to list what they DO want, not what they DON’T… comes across a lot better.

    Don’t get me started about the idiots who curse about getting Smiles…

  9. 5000

    The profile is your into, be honest and open you may find what you want or maybe not. but thats life people. But you will never find that ONE if you dont try, LTR or quick fling, just keep your eyes opened and your heart ready.. GOOD-LUCK everyone..

  10. MarqueeTee

    I wish you could send your blog to every member of A4A, if they’d read it and use it. Currently me profile is very bitter due to the b/s but I need to re do mine. What kills me is the profile pict will be a cock or spread ass shot, but yet in still wirthin thier profile stated” I’m not into hook ups….” As well as very professional shot photos (real or not ah hum) but clearly look like escorts/hustlers online, go figure!!!! I take this site and others for what it is. You can’t weed out the creeps by web master, so the individual has to be the total investigator. I’ve had no luck ‘cept for booty calls I really don’t want, and would they show up to the plate should it really happen? things that make you say ummmmmmmm! They all seem to be looking for the current Hollywood/rock star type to “hook up” with :-/

  11. blake

    this article provided some great information and advice on how to market oneself. however, if anyone doesn’t put down their hiv status, then i tend to avoid them because it leads me to believe that they’re hiding something and they’re not being totally honest. maybe they’re poz and they may feel discriminated by others so they’re reluctant to put down their hiv status. or perhaps they may feel that it’s no one else’s business whether they’re neg or poz, but since we’re all in the same game here we need to be aware of each others hiv status, regardless of who it is and whether we play safe or not.

  12. Over 9000

    @joseph this may be marketed as a hookup site but in my metro area most of the gay guys are on this site with very few on others, as a result even those looking for a relationship are on a4a and don’t hookup, so it does get used for all sorts of things.

    I have to make a point that I think it’s funny when you see those guys who are like “if you message me and I don’t respond then Im not interested, don’t keep messaging me, I will block you!”
    That kind of attitude that lacks maturity and realistically if I wanted to screw with them blOcking me would be ineffective if you realize how easy it is to just create new accounts to poke them with. Besides its not like it’s really all that hard to say “thanks but not interested” but guys think that somehow by choosing not to respond is somehow easier when in fact it just degrades their image.
    I just think it’s funny people think they can hide behind a block button, but like I said, being threatening in your profile doesn’t exactly make people want to message you in the first place


    Dear Admins of A4A,

    I humbly seek your wisdom on dating and advice..

    I don’t know what else to write on my profile to maybe seem more “approachable”- i want a long-term relationship. I’ve traveled and have experienced more than enough thanks to having moved 21 times within a period of 16 years, having grown up as a military brat.  

    It’s safe to say that i know what i want and i would hope to find someone who does as well. 

    I’m very spiritual, caring, smart, i have a great sense of humor.. I could maybe spend a few more hours at the gym but, that’s it; I’m beautiful (inside and out) and i’m done wasting time. 

    I’m available NOW. My schedule allows for allows for it NOW. I left high school not long before the economy went to hell.. It’s not as if my generation has had all sorts of opportunities just banging away on our door immediately after graduation.

    I want a guy who doesn’t have to squeeze me into his schedule. I want him to be successful, stable, hot, healthy, wealthy, mature and emotionally available.

    He doesn’t have to have a 9 inch pistol in his pocket but i’d definitely want him happy to see me! 

    I’m attracted to guys that are older than i am.. In some cases, i prefer them 20-30 years older than me (i’m 23) because something about a MAN man just gets me riled up and rock steady!!! 

    I’ve had to constantly prove myself to these men to let em know that i’m not after their money. Sure, i don’t have a 9-5.. That doesn’t mean i’m gold-digging, though.

    Maybe if we both worked in accounting, we’d have time to pussyfoot around over the water cooler as if we lived in the 80’s but me? I was born in the 80’s! 

    I’m over these games and b.s.’ing through “online dating”. Am i the only one that has noticed that some people seem content with just browsing pictures and in some cases, settling for NSA sex believing that that’s it? Has the emotional maturity of the gay male reached a plateau!? I’m concerned! I refuse to do one-nighter’s and i’ve got all of this free time.. 

    Am i coming on too strong if i state upfront that i’m seeking to move-in and be supported financially and have someone there to connect with as i build the foundation to eventually show my gratitude in return once they’ve retired and can no longer do the things that they maybe once used to?

    As a single and gay man no longer enticed by that investigative eye-stare we’re all familiar with while grocery shopping, at the gym or store; I’m not having much sex these days so, i figured i’d ask for some advice before i trade in my man towel and self-respect to join the current of the masses..

    Where is my Robert Redford?


    Your on & off again member, 4ZIEGLER.

  14. Egypt. W

    #AMEN….. to some of the statements I have already read above! Because if I have to see one more profile that gives a truck load of demands, I am going to scream!!! Hell… I’m not no hostage negotiator, and I am not here for no sh*t load of demands either… ! *smdh*

  15. Mannois

    I wish tops would stop posting ass pic’s as their primary. Don’t advertise it if it ain’t what you’re sellin’…

  16. AJ

    This site is all about hooking up. Let’s not bullshit anyone, okay?

    If someone ends up getting a boyfriend out of it, or a good circle of friends who they didn’t end up having sex with to be friends, then hey, so much the better. But please, this is just the same as Manhunt/Squirt/Men4Sex/etc.

  17. jt

    @Mannois: Thank you!!

    Being vers that’s one thing that perturbs me – are tops who advertise their ass and bottoms who flaunt their huge cocks. It’s really not that difficult to be vers. I find most guys are into power game when they say they’re tops. So that’s something to keep in mind when you’re searching.

    As for the guys with lists, I shrug them off. Lists just come off as drama to me.

  18. jt

    I should also include the guys who say they will only bottom for 9+ cocks. Uhh, if you don’t bottom regularly how do you expect to take something that big???

  19. damon

    I been on A4A for 10 years and these young gay kids using drugs and unsafe practices are discerning and convoluted with drugs and mayhem from their end am deeply sadden that most of them don’t take their lives seriously and genuinely , most of the profiles are misguided and misused we must do something for the next generation

  20. tentpole30

    It gets annoying to read lists of what guys DON’T want, whether those lists rule me out or not. Under or over this or that age, “hwp,” “no blacks” or “blacks preferred,” and the list goes on. Some are preferences in sexual style or activities. When you get too specific about what you do or do not want, I suspect you end up with a lot of lonely time.
    I myself am open to and respond to nearly anyone who takes an interest in me, and I tend not to be judgmental. That makes it difficult for me to fully understand how so many can be so narrow minded in their preferences, but so be it. It’s not a perfect world, and wishes do not always come true.
    But still, A4A, like the rest of the world, has its share of jackasses. We just need to learn to identify them and work around them.
    If you want a sex partner, a long term relationship, or just a friend to chat with, it’s all here and you just have to do a little work and have a bit of patience.

  21. Justin Taylor navysoccerboi7

    I thought it was obvious to be honest, but then again…….most men aren’t honest. 🙁

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