Health : Premature Ejaculation ?
Cuming too soon can be embarrassing and cause problems in relationships. It is a common problem and there are lots of “cures” out there, most of which are useless.
The first step in solving any problem is to understand the problem. So lets start by looking at what may cause premature ejaculation.
First, what defines premature ejaculation? Exactly how quickly do you need to cum to be considered a premature ejaculator? Well, in heterosexual relationships most men would be considered premature ejaculators by women as most men cum pretty quickly and women take at least 15 minutes or so to reach orgasm. Medically speaking premature ejaculation occurs when a man has an orgasm sooner during intercourse than he or his partner wishes.
Ideally we would be able to last as long as we want without having an orgasm while having sex.
Premature ejaculation is most common among younger men. This fact hints that inexperience, anxiety, and a lack of self awareness have an effect on premature ejaculation. Inexperience causes problem when you have not learned to recognize the feeling when you are about to cum. Physical causes of premature ejaculation are difficult to determine as there are usually no abnormal findings with the condition.
There are generally three stages a man goes through before reaching orgasm. Arousal when you start to get hard, intense excitement during sex and before orgasm, and the point of no return, when you are unable to control your orgasm.
The goal of any treatment for premature ejaculation is to prolong stage two, the intense excitement during sex.
There are many things one can do to help treat premature ejaculation.
- Deal with your emotions. Talking with your partner before sex about your current feelings, especially feelings of fear, anger, shame, and performance anxiety can help relieve some of the emotional underlying causes of premature ejaculation.
- Try the start and stop method. (Edging)This technique involves sexually stimulating yourself until you feel as though you are about to cum. Stop the stimulation for about 30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until you want to ejaculate. The last time, continue stimulation until you cum.
- Try the squeeze method. This technique involves sexually stimulating yourself until you are about to cum. Then you or your partner should gently squeeze the end of your penis for several seconds and stop all sexual activity for about 30 seconds and then start again. Repeat this pattern until you want to cum, and continue the stimulation until you reach orgasm.
- Medications such as antidepressants, serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may help as one of their side effects is to prolong the time to orgasm. But medication should be taken with caution and under the supervision of a physician.
- Topical anesthetic creams containing lidocaine or prilocaine which dull the sensation on the penis to help delay ejaculation. Applied a short time before intercourse, these creams are wiped off when your penis has lost enough sensation to help you delay ejaculation. Some men using topical anesthetic creams report reduced sexual pleasure because of lessened sensitivity.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy may help as well. Counseling or talk therapy, involves talking with a mental health provider about your relationships and experiences. These talk sessions can help you reduce performance anxiety or find effective ways of coping with stress and solving problems.
Generally speaking the road to a happier sex life that is free from premature ejaculation is paved with practice and honest communication. Open communication with your partners, and exploration and a willingness to try a variety of approaches to sex may help both partners feel satisfied and help reduce conflict and performance anxiety. If you’re not satisfied with your sexual relationship, talk with your partner about your concerns. Approach the topic in a loving way and avoid any blame and or shame.
If you’re not able to resolve your sexual problems on your own, talk with your doctor. He or she may be able to help.